


Entwined - Secrets

by Kicktokill



Series: Entwined [1]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst and Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Violence, multi-pairing and more that I don't want to spoil, villain ocs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2019-05-17 21:09:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 78,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14839202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kicktokill/pseuds/Kicktokill
Summary: Kira loves Shuuhei, but he knows Shuuhei cares about Matsumoto. Byakuya decides to act upon his feelings for Renji, but the redhead seems interested in another guy. After a weird first kiss at school, Ishida is avoiding Ichigo, who seems to act strange. This is a story about unrequited love, in a homophobic Soul Society, while the fate of Karakura Town is in jeopardy.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I'm finally posting this here! I am 'Writing is Necessary' from FF.net and I'm migrating all my stories.
> 
> Entwined - Secrets is an on-going story I have since 2012, with the end coming soon (this year hopefully). I will be posting the chapters I have already written within the next few weeks.
> 
> I hope that you enjoy as this is a story that is very dear to me. This was my first Bleach fanfiction ever!

Chapter 0 –  ** _Prologue_**

**Kira**

Kira couldn't sleep. No matter how hard he tried, or how tired he was from his hard-working day, he couldn't sleep. His eyes refused to close and his mind refused to shutdown and drift to dreamland.

For a long time Kira had no trouble to fall asleep. Since his former Taichou left, to be precise, he didn't have insomnia. But now, a few months after the Winter War, his lack of sleep was tormenting him again. Well, it wasn't exactly that what was tormenting the blond, but the fact that it was almost 2 am, and Hisagi didn't come yet.

The truth was that Hisagi went on a date with some girl from the 8th division. Something he did frequently; however, most – if not all – of his dates ended up with the 9th division Fukutaichou going to the Third division, where Kira would listen to him complaining what did go wrong with his date, while drinking some high-end sake that, for whatever reason, the blond seemed to always have. Indeed, Kira always had that pricey sake, and he always bought new bottles whenever Shuuhei had a date coming; this because he knew that the brunet's date would be a failure, and then he would come to him, seeking comfort from his friend.

It wasn't in a malicious way, that Kira thought that the dates would fail. It was because Hisagi Shuuhei was picky. He didn't want a one night stand. He wanted a girlfriend, he wanted a wife. More concretely, he wanted a family. And that's what broke the blond's heart. It was the main reason why he never confessed his feelings, why he never attempted to flirt with him. Hisagi was straight and wanted a family, which meant he wanted kids. And even, if it was possible for the brunet to reciprocate his feelings, Kira could never give him children.

But he wasn't mad about it. He accepted that long time ago. He accepted that he would always be seen as a friend, and nothing else. And that was enough for him. His feelings could be one-sided but he knew he had something precious, Hisagi's friendship. Hisagi himself told him he was his best friend, the person he trusted the most, and that made Kira's heart beat faster. He was important to Hisagi, probably much more important than many others, and Kira couldn't help but be glad with that idea.

Since their Taichous betrayed them, they returned to the friendship they had in the Academy days. It was like those decades of simple Hi's and occasionally drinking sake in gatherings didn't exist; like they were always close friends, and that distance never took place. They continued where they left, fifty years ago and that was a blessing for Kira.

He knew he was lucky to be accepted by Hisagi like this. And he knew that many people wouldn't give him a second chance. And he  _knew_  about second chances. But apart from Abarai, who was always at his side, no matter how much he didn't know about what was happening to Kira; Hisagi was there smiling at him, reassuring him he was enough for his division, he was enough for him.

Without Hisagi, Kira was lost. And all that he did was in the name of their friendship, only Hisagi mattered, nothing else.

Kira turned to his side, but the futon was uncomfortably hot. He put the blankets down sighing in displeasure. He looked again at the clock at the wall. It was 2:03 am. Why wasn't Hisagi there yet? His dates never passed the midnight.

Did this one actually worked out?

Kira gulped. Was he now with the girl at her place, or... was he... having sex with her? Kira's eyes widen. He felt scared. No, he couldn't think like this.  _'I mean he is a guy and has urges, it doesn't mean that if had sex with her he likes her.'_  But this was Hisagi, he was a gentleman, he wouldn't have random sex with someone he didn't have the intention to be with. He had morals and Kira admired that.

Nonetheless, there was also the possibility of Hisagi succeed in his date. And this was the reason why Kira couldn't sleep. His heart ached and he started to feel like crap.

A light knocking sound came from the living room door. Kira got up quickly. He couldn't feel his reiatsu, but he was sure it was Hisagi, that knock was his knock. He run till the door before stopping and looked himself at the mirror he placed nearby the door – for these type of circumstance _–_  he arranged his white  _yukata_ , which Hisagi said he looked good in it, so he always wore it when he knew the other would come; and arranged his hair, fixing the mess his pillow did. He looked at himself and breathed and exhaled deeply. He opened the door.

Hisagi was leaning against the door frame. He was wearing his Shinigami uniform, but without his Fukutaichou badge. He looked marvelous as always, his bare arms showing off his amazing muscles and the moonlight hitting his tanned skin, made him glow. Kira tried not to stare too much.

"Hisagi-san," he simply said. The older man looked at him and shrugged.

"I know, I suck," Hisagi replied. Kira didn't say anything else, he didn't want the other man to think he was judging him, so he stepped aside and let him enter. As he passed by him, the blond could smell the scent of sake. Hisagi had drunk, and something said to him, that he had been drinking a lot.

Hisagi took off his waraji and entered. He sat nearby the coffee table in the small living room. He rested his forehead against the table, Kira joined him sitting next to him, not too close but not too far away.

"Do you want something to drink?" the blond asked, "Although it looks like you already have been drinking."

"No, I'm okay," His senpai replied, he moved his head towards Kira looking at him, "Sorry to come this late. You were already sleeping."

"No! I mean, I couldn't sleep so it's alright," Kira said trying not to sound too eager. He was so glad that Hisagi was there, he just wanted to smile.

Hisagi stared at him for a while, he could feel those dark eyes analyzing him, which made him slightly blush. He didn't want Hisagi to notice, so he had to distract him.

"So, what happened this time?" Kira asked casually.

"Oh God _,_  Kira, she was a motormouth. She didn't shut up for a second!" Hisagi said burying his face in his hands. Kira chuckled.

"Aren't you being too picky?"

"I know I may have high standards you don't have to tell me that, but this time it was really painful. She started talking about her Taichou, and didn't stop."

"Well her Taichou is a lady's man," Kira said.

"That's not an excuse. Who in its mind would talk about other guys in a date? Women are so inconsiderate."

_'Maybe you should try men'_  Kira thought, of course this wasn't something he had the courage to say.

"Maybe you should just stop looking for women," the blond said. "I mean don't they say that the more you search for love the more it runs away?"

"Yeah, but...I don't want to be alone," Hisagi said, resting now his head on his bent knees, still looking at the younger man.

"You are forcefully trying to find someone, and of course you will find flaws in those girls, if you are forcing yourself to like them," Kira said, trying to sound like he was saying something wise. In reality, he was trying to persuade the man he loved to stop dating.

"Damn..." he only replied.

Kira could feel his dark eyes traveling to what he was wearing, he felt a bit self-conscious, even though Hisagi said he looked good in a white yukata, Kira knew that he was only being polite. Even so, he felt awkward, he didn't want to act like an embarrassed woman, so he stood still, trying to ignore that gaze. The dark orbs of his senpai seemed to look at his neck or collar-bone he wasn't sure.

Kira could see Hisagi's rosy cheeks, and he wondered if it was the effect of alcohol and that was confirmed in what Hisagi said next.

"I like slender necks."

Kira blushed. Was he talking about his neck? Before he could answer anything, Hisagi continued speaking.

"Kira do you remember when we..." he paused. He looked at the blond's blue eyes.

"When we what?" Kira asked lowly, his eyes couldn't stare back. He was afraid that if he kept his eyes locked with his senpai, he would be discovered, his feelings would be discovered.

"Never mind," Hisagi said standing up. Kira stood up worried, did something made Hisagi mad, something he did? Hisagi almost fell when he tried to walk, but Kira grabbed him in time.

"Shit. I think I'm drunk," Hisagi said.

"You think? You are drunk," Kira said. This wasn't quite what he had planned, to deal with a drunk Hisagi, but the idea of taking care of him was very pleasant.

"Hisagi-san do you want to stay the night here? It's late and you can barely walk," He said shyly.

"Hmm..." the older man murmured something and then nodded.

"Come I'll prepare you a futon," He took Hisagi to his room and sat him in his own futon while he searched in his closet the spare one. When he found it and turned around, he noticed the brunet had fallen asleep in his bed. He laid the spare futon next to him and after covering up the 9th division Fukutaichou with his sheets and blankets, he laid down in the other futon.

Kira still didn't sleep, but now he did it on purpose, because the sight of a sleeping and unworried Hisagi on his bed was worth every single minute of him awake.


	2. Secrets

Chapter 1:  _ **Secrets**_

**Kira**

There was an unwritten rule in Seireitei. Some people labeled it as "Golden rule" others labeled it as the "men's law". But the main name that rule was known for was simply by "The Code."

The Code was a norm that the Shinigami Male Association created to combat gossip, that was always created by their  _arch-enemies_  the Shinigami Female Association. Since the extinction of gossip was something impossible, because women would never give up their favorite hobby, the men decided to fight such annoying act by not giving them a reason to gossip.

That was what the code was about. 'If you have a secret or a shameful problem, don't tell anyone.  _No exceptions_.' This code was something every men knew in the Gotei 13, from Soutaichou, to all male Taichous (including Kurotsuchi Mayuri), to all male Fukutaichous, to all seated and unseated male Shinigami. The women didn't know about this code, but that didn't make them not realize things were awfully quiet, lately. Something was wrong, the men were behaving too good, and that infuriated them. So now the Shinigami Female Association members were being an annoyance by their meticulous approach in every move that was happening in the whole Seireitei.

Kira Izuru knew about the Golden Rule, and he knew that the main person he should be careful with was Matsumoto Rangiku. The beautiful voluptuous woman was always trying to get some dirty secret from him or Hisagi-san or Abarai. Kira actually suspected that she was assigned to dig information from them. Of course, by the code all men wouldn't reveal anything. Men wouldn't even reveal to each other things, in case some information leaked. Well, for Kira and his two best friends it wasn't the case. Kira, Hisagi and Abarai were pretty close and told everything to each other, because they trusted each others. They knew that the others wouldn't sell their friendship, and that was the real golden rule within the trio. There were no secrets. No hiding, no omissions from each others.

However, Kira was hiding something from the other two, something he knew he should never tell anyone. Not because of gossiping, but because it would destroy him, his reputation, his sanity. Kira had two major secrets that if it was known it would affect his rank, his friendships and possibly his life.

One belonged to the past. The Third Division Fukutaichou swore to himself he would never reveal it to anyone. It was something that was buried inside him, and he had no intentions to re-live that part of his life again. The only other person that was involved had passed away a few months ago, so if he kept his mouth shut, that secret would never be discovered.

Nevertheless, Kira had another secret – He was gay, not only that but he loved his best friend Hisagi Shuuhei. Now, for some people in the human world this would seem an innocent thing, everybody loved and deserved to be loved, but in Soul Society being gay was seen as taboo. Especially in the Seireitei. If a Shinigami was openly gay, he would somehow be sent to a very dangerous mission where he would  _unfortunately_  be killed or disappear in action. So if someone was gay, he had to be a closeted gay.

So that's why Kira replied to Matsumoto, that was drinking tea with him in her office, the words. "No, I don't have feelings for Hisagi-san."

Matsumoto was acting strange in the past couple of months. Kira knew the death of his former Taichou affected her, but he wasn't expecting that the woman would invite him for tea at her office in the Tenth Division to hear her asking the worst possible question she could ask. She didn't even ask him if he was gay, simply if he had feelings for Hisagi. Kira tried not to sulk, for this kind of thing. Probably she didn't ask him about his sexual orientation because she only wanted to know the extent of his relationship with the tattooed man, not because he might in some point  _looked_ suspiciously gay... right?

"Hmm..." she was thoughtful, "But you two are really close."

"I'm close to Abarai-kun too. It's not love, Matsumoto-san, it's friendship," he said trying to sound as firm as possible. Kira was a great liar, even if everybody thought he was the worst liar possible, they were wrong. He made them think that, in reality he was an impressive liar, all because in the past he had too. His acting skills were beyond good, it disgusted him to know that he had become the type of person he hated the most. A manipulative lying bastard, but all the times he lied to his friends were for their own good, to avoid worthless issues. Some things belonged to the past, and even though certain events were still so alive within people, for others it was time to move on. This was his case.

Matsumoto kept looking at him carefully. Her shiny blue eyes looked different. Kira could sense she wasn't her usual self, no matter how much she tried to act cool and all, there was something wrong with her.

"Are you okay, Matsumoto-san?"

She frowned as she opened her mouth like she was about to say something, but then changed her mind and closed it, then opened again.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be? Taichou didn't leave me any work, I bought some new shoes... Everything is marvelous!" she said with her beautiful smile. Kira smiled too. No matter what happen in his life he never hated this woman. Even if almost every heartbreak he had was because of her, he couldn't hate Matsumoto. She could be loud, a first class gossiper, but she was loyal too. The kind of loyal that you can trust your life in her hands.

"Was that question the reason you invited me for tea? To get some dirt from me?" Kira asked also drinking his tea.

"Of course! Why would I spike your tea with a truth serum, if not?" she said wickedly smiling. Kira raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"You're lying," he said. Noticing her amused expression, he realized that she caught him on a trap.

"How do you know I'm lying? Maybe you didn't answer truthfully to that question if you are so sure I didn't put anything in your drink," she said, her eyes sparkling like the old Matsumoto he knew.

"Because I know you wouldn't do such a dirty act to me. You wouldn't break the trust we have between us, Matsumoto-san. That's why I will always drink the tea you will offer me, because I trust you." Throwing the guilt card always worked on the strawberry blonde. He knew that, and he could see her face changing from maliciously curious to flattered.

"What about if it is sake?" She asked laughing.

"Especially sake," He equally laughed.

**0000000000**

The Third Division was one of the most affected divisions, after the Fifth, with what everybody called the Taichou Betrayal. It took a long time for Kira to win everybody's respect again. There were some people, in the beginning that accused him of being part of the traitors. But he kept his head high, and continued with his division's work. Even when he felt alone, or when he felt it was a never-ending road he kept going on.

Abarai helped him a lot. Mentally and socially. Even though, he was always busy, with his missions in the human world or with his demanding Taichou, every free time he had he would come to see how the blond was.

Kira had just finished the last reports and just gave his last orders of the day for the Division, when a Hell Butterfly came to him.

It was Matsumoto again, telling him everybody was meeting at the usual bar, and that Abarai had returned from the human world. Trying not to think too much about the misused Hell Butterfly – it was forbidden to use it for personal matters – Kira decided that it wouldn't be a bad idea to go to the bar. Hisagi-san would probably be there, and the fact Abarai-kun was back was enough reason for him to go.

It was already late, the sky was dark. Kira knew the other Fukutaichous stopped working a while ago, but being him responsible for his role and for the Taichou's role of his division, it led him to overworking hours. He was used to it, but still he found himself extremely tired sometimes. If it wasn't for Abarai or Hisagi he wouldn't go to the bar.

The bar was half-full, and it didn't take long for the blond to recognize his group of friends. Matsumoto's loud voice could be heard from across the bar. Hisagi was there sitting next to Madarame and Ayasegawa. Next to Matsumoto was Iba. Abarai was no where in sight. It wasn't long before the voluptuous woman noticed the blond.

"Kira! Over here!" she yelled. Everybody looked at him, as he walked to them. Hisagi smiled to him, making Kira's heartbeat growing faster, no matter how much time passed the brunet still had that effect on him.

"You guys are back," Kira greeted the 11th Division's dynamic duo who also came back with Abarai from the human world. He sat in the spot available next to Hisagi.

"It was so boring, seriously what's with Zaraki-Taichou to send us to such a lame mission," Ayasegawa said rolling a lock of hair around his finger.

"That's not what you said before we returned," Madarame said drinking from a small cup.

"That's because it was fun when we all went out."

Kira didn't pay too much attention to the auto-proclaimed beautiful man, when the waitress came to take his order.

"You look like you came directly from your office," Hisagi said lowly.

"I did," Kira confessed.

"Did you eat dinner?"

"Yes," The blond lied. He didn't have time. The older man narrowed slightly his eyes and smirked.

"Liar."

Kira chuckled. Hisagi had the strange power to see through him sometimes, no matter how much he tried to lie, Hisagi seemed to caught him too often for his taste. It was a weird feeling, but Kira enjoyed to have someone who cared about these kind of things, especially when that someone was  _him._

"Where's Abarai?" Iba asked.

"Probably still reporting to his Taichou," the bald man said nonchalantly. "Someone decided  _wisely_  to talk about the fact he we all went out in front of Kuchiki-Taichou," he said obviously accusing his partner.

"It's not my fault. I didn't know it was supposed to be a secret," Ayasegawa said defending himself.

"Yumi, you didn't  _care_  about it," The bald man spoke.

"Ikkaku you are freaking mean."

Kira observed the fight between both men. Part of him envied them. Ayasegawa Yumichika and Madarame Ikkaku were known to be a couple. The  _only_  (at least open) homosexual couple in the Seireitei. Madarame was reserved in what came to his private life, but Ayasegawa was the opposite. In fact Ayasegawa's way of living and being, screamed GAY with capital letters. The reason why no one ever said anything about it was because everybody knew that they had Kenpachi's support, not only that, but the whole 11th Division were at their side. There was also the fact that Ikkaku was known to be strong, and Yumichika too smart, together they were a great combo, and the few shinigami that decided to tease them or tried to bully them, had unluckily spent months in the 4th Division to recover from severe injuries. Their relationship lasted for decades, and Kira couldn't help but be jealous. He wished he could be open about it, he wish he had someone for so long at his side. That was the kind of love, that he wished for. A love that was reciprocated, that survived through many decades.

But life was unfair. Some had luck, others hadn't. The blond looked at Hisagi at his side, that seemed amused with the couple's fight. It wasn't really a fight, but Kira could agree with the 9th Division Fukutaichou, it was funny seeing Ayasegawa getting mad with the bald man, when he was the one at fault.

"Shut up, Ikkaku. It was fun, and let me tell you all, that Abarai was the one that enjoyed the most his time in the human world," the  _beautiful_  man said with a mischievous smile.

"No way, something happened?" Matsumoto asked.

Remember about The Code? Well, Ayasegawa Yumichika was the only man who didn't follow it. He loved gossip, and he was more dangerous with it than a lot of women. So when he and the strawberry blonde Fukutaichou were together, chaos would form.

The waitress brought more sake, and Kira took his first sip. He was listening carefully, because even though he didn't care about gossip, he was interested about what happened to his friend. His attention, like the others too was drawn to a promising story.

"So here's the situation," Ayasegawa started. "This guy, Keigo, who is a friend of Kurosaki's, and normally let's us stay at his place, took us, plus Abarai, Kuchiki and the Kurosaki gang to a bar. You know how bars are in the real world, right? With the loud music and the flashy lights, flashy drinks, and flashy people."

"I think you are talking about clubs, nightclubs," The voluptuous woman corrected.

"Nightclubs or bars, it's the same thing."

"No, it's not."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Ayasegawa replied quickly annoyed. "Moving on, so Keigo took us to this club... and just let me tell you first that I was having a bad feeling about this."

"You say that now, at the time you were the most excited to go," Madarame said.

"Oh God, today you are impossible..." Ayasegawa grumbled. He sighed and continued. "So we were at the club, Kuchiki and Orihime-chan were dancing, the rest of us were at the bar drinking. Then the mighty Abarai Renji discovered an alcoholic beverage called Black Vodka. And then, he found out – thanks to Kurosaki – that you can drink shots of Black Vodka," He paused. "And of course, like everything else between them, they turned it to a drinking competition."

"That's plausible. Abarai does that often," Iba said. Kira couldn't agree more, he himself being part of many Abarai's drinking contests.

"But that's not the point. Since Kurosaki isn't used to drink, he got drunk pretty quickly and Abarai to not stay behind drank more than he normally would.

"So in less than 20 minutes, they were wasted in the middle of the dance floor, dancing like crazy butterflies. That's when Ikkaku got my attention and pointed to them, they were actually grinding each other."

Everybody was looking at the _beautiful_  man in awe. Kira didn't understand, or at least he thought he didn't.

"What do you mean by grinding?" he asked. Everybody looked at him raising an eyebrow. He ended up feeling stupid asking that.

"Kira, you're kidding right?" Matsumoto asked pouring some tea in to her cup. Why the hell was she drinking tea again? Confused, he tried to say something.

"Hmm..."

Hisagi chuckled. Kira felt really stupid now.

"Kira, you know... Grinding... dancing and grinding their bodies together..." he explained.

"But isn't that how people dance?" Kira asked, and once again regretting asking another stupid question.

"Kira..." Hisagi started.

"Hisagi, you're so slow to explain!" Yumichika said, "Grinding, like intimate parts touching? Like Abarai grinding Kurosaki's ass?"

"Oh!" Kira blushed a bit. He did understood well after all; but it was so strange, Abarai acting so...

"Kira, I can't believe you don't know what grinding is," Matsumoto said again.

"Rangiku-san, Kira is just innocent," Hisagi said trying to defend his friend.

' _Innocent?'_

That hurt. Kira felt a bit frustrated. Was this how Hisagi saw him? An innocent and fragile guy? Kira gulped and spoke.

"I know what grinding is, I just didn't expect Abarai-kun doing that with another guy."

"Eh? Of course he wo-" Hisagi was cut by Ayasegawa,

"Can I continue or not?" Everybody nodded. "So they were there dancing and grinding, when suddenly appears a Hollow."

Everybody's eyes widen.

"Wait. A Hollow? Inside the club?" Hisagi asked making sure he heard right.

"I know it's unbelievable, but I swear it's true! The hollow just appeared on top of them on the dance floor, and they were so into it, that they didn't even notice the damn Hollow. So..." he turned to the voluptuous woman, "I won the bet."

"No way. That doesn't prove anything, it's all too vague," Matsumoto replied frowning.

"What is this bet Yumi? I never heard anything about it," Madarame asked cautiously.

"Matsumoto and I bet that Renji wants to  _eat_  Kurosaki," Ayasegawa replied smiling.

"I don't think he will make it. Ichigo is not gay. He probably doesn't even know what a gay is, he's just only 16 years old," the woman replied.

Kira tried not to look too eager while listening to them. They were all talking about being gay or not in such an easy way, like there wasn't anything wrong with it. Kira was glad that at least some of his friends didn't judge that. Still he would never tell anyone he himself didn't like women. But Abarai... that was something he wasn't expecting, and honestly he didn't believe in it.

"Well I think he will make it," Ayasegawa said, "Kurosaki has, clearly, a thing for guys."

"You're crazy! Doesn't he like Rukia?" she asked.

"Ayasegawa, for you all men are gay," Iba said, as he was now in his 5th little bottle of sake? Kira tried not to laugh at what he said. Indeed, Ayasegawa tended to make everyone around him gay.

"Of course not. But I know who likes guys and who doesn't. And Kurosaki is gay, not bi. Gay!" Ayasegawa stated and drank from his cup.

"How are you so sure?" Madarame asked.

"Yumichika knows everything about everyone. It's scary," Hisagi said laughing. Kira wasn't sure if the sake was making effect already since his stomach was empty, but wasn't Hisagi's voice a bit husky?

"Are you afraid that I know your secret?" the 5th seat asked. Hisagi laughed loudly.

"I don't have any secrets. My life is an open book."

"Yes, especially when you drink," Kira replied without even thinking, then he chuckled.

"Look who's talking, Kira," He teased him.

"Oh yes, you have a secret, Hisagi Shuuhei. You just didn't realize yet," Ayasegawa said with a devilish smile. Kira hated it for some reason. Both men staring at each other, like they were talking with their eyes only. Hisagi had a secret? What would Ayasegawa know that, and he didn't? And what was with those looks? They were acting in such an intimate way.

"I didn't realize yet that I have a secret? What the hell?" Hisagi seemed thoughtful, his gaze went to the ceiling, making him look like he was thinking what could be his secret Ayasegawa was talking about. "I think everything that can possibly be considered a secret, everybody knows. Unlike certain people," His eyes went back to the other man. Ayasegawa looked defeated for a second, trying not to look too obvious he pretended to talk with Matsumoto again.

"Anyway, Matsumoto you lost."

"No, I didn't. I want evidence, at least a kiss."

"It's not pretty running away, I will hold a grudge."

"What will you do? Blackmail me with the things you know about me?"

"I don't do that kind of thing anymore. Ikkaku doesn't like it."

"It goes against the 11th Division ideals," His partner replied.

"I know. But it's not fun to know certain things about people and doing nothing about it."

Kira felt nervous. As much as he tried to hide his personal life, he feared Yumichika. This one had the natural talent to read people and pick up subtle things no one else could. And as much as Kira was subtle, there was someone who could make him lose any kind of reasoning he had. That person being sit right next to him. Hisagi was his first love. An unrequited love, a secret love. Though, he disguised it as friendship.

They were both close, and that was enough for him. The blond rather had an eternal friendship with him, than nothing at all. He could had tried and tell him he loved him, but the risk of losing him was too much. And Kira knew that since, he was abandoned by Ichimaru, that if he lost his friendship with Hisagi, he wouldn't be able to live anymore. Hisagi kept him together.

Yumichika and Matsumoto continued discussing, but Kira's ears didn't listen to them. The thought of his former Taichou was still a sensitive subject, and the thought of losing the love of his life, was even more depressing.

"Kira, are you fine?" the tattooed man asked, noticing how quiet he was.

"Hm? Yes, I'm fine! What happened to the Hollow?"

"Ishida killed him," said a voice coming from behind him. Everybody turned around seeing a tanned Abarai followed by an also tanned Kuchiki Rukia. Kira looked at the man who just arrived. Abarai looked so much bigger, his sun bathed skin made him so much sexier than he was. Kira always found his friend attractive, but now he was glowing. The human world did him good.

"Renji!" Matsumoto yelled, "And Kuchiki! Wow you guys look good! All tanned."

"It's this guy's fault" the small woman said as she kicked the redhead, "He had the amazing idea of going to the beach without gigais. I had sunburns all over my back, I couldn't even lay down."

"But you look nice."

"Of course, it paid off. By the way, thanks a lot Yumichika. Because of you I have to do an essay about Hollows in social places in the human world!" Abarai said grabbing one of the bottles in the table and drinking it.

"It's not my fault, you have such a difficult Taichou. Zaraki-Taichou would probably punish us if we didn't have fun."

"Yeah, I miss those days in the 11th," Abaraidrank from the bottle like it was water, "I can't believe you guys were talking about the Hollow thing."

"I can't believe you are after that guy's ass," Iba said with a monotone voice. Hisagi burst into laughter.

"Eh? Who's ass?"

"Ichigo's," Matsumoto said. Abarai's face turned into bright red.

"What the hell? What the fuck are you guys talking about? Yumichika!"

"Me?"

"Who else could it be?" Abarai spat.

"What the hell Renji, Ichigo is not gay!" Kuchiki said elbowing her childhood friend.

"See, Yumi?" Matsumoto said.

"Yes, he is gay! Let me tell you even more, he's a seme!" Ayasegawa said.

"That's kind of obvious," Madarame replied.

"Don't you guys have anything else to talk about?" Abarai sulked.

"Are you feeling uncomfortable?" Hisagi teased him. Kira could swear Abarai's neck vein was twitching.

"Yumichika was talking about people's secrets, and since you weren't here, we were talking about yours," Matsumoto said like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"That's not my secret," the redhead replied, as he drank more sake. Kira could preview a wasted Abarai in less than 1 hour.

"It's one of your secrets."

"No, it's not. My secrets are way darker," he said grinning

"I think Yumichika's idea of secrets, it's dark secrets," Hisagi said.

"Of course! Dark secrets that torment minds. Secrets that make beautiful people... fugly."

"Yumi, not everybody is like that," his lover said said.

"Everybody is like that, Ikkaku. I will even tell you this, everybody in this table has a big secret, and I know all of them," Yumichika said proud pointing at the table. Everybody stared at the man, Kira felt like he was going to faint from anxiety.

"That reminded me, of one thing I did in the living world a few months ago," the small Kuchiki said. "It was in one of Ichigo's class. We did an exercise to relieve our minds and free some stress. We had to write one of our greatest secrets and then burn the paper, with that the secret that was in our consciousness wouldn't have such an impact in our lives. We let it go, and not let it dominate us."

"Secrets can't be resolved with burning a piece of paper," Abarai said.

"Of course not. But the idea was to free the fear that was making us keeping that secret."

"What was your secret?" the other woman asked.

"I'm afraid of losing someone else I love," she replied.

"Wow, you really had not problem saying it."

"What was Ichigo's secret?" Abarai asked, receiving a slap and some commentaries and whistles.

**0000000000**

As Kira predicted, Abarai had drunk a lot, and now he and Hisagi were taking his unconscious body to the Sixth Division, where the redhead's quarters were. Hisagi carried his drunk body in a piggyback ride, as Kira walked by his side.

"Rangiku-san looked beautiful today, didn't she?" Hisagi said. Kira could feel his heart constrict itself. He was used to hear Hisagi talk about girls, but when he talked about Matsumoto it was different.

Recently, his senpai started to show more interest towards her. No doubt, he had a crush on her, like many other men had, but still Kira felt extremely insecure. As any best friend would do, he would smile and agree with whatever his love was saying. But it was getting harder to pretend everything was fine, to hide his hurt feelings.

This was the main effect of his unrequited love, jealousy and sorrow. He covered himself with the ideals that he could survive only with that friendship, but whenever Hisagi talked like that about women, part of Kira's believes died. Especially, when it came to Matsumoto.

The poor woman didn't know, but she was always the cause of his sadness. Of course, she didn't know the pain Kira suffered, and he never blamed her for anything; but being always her the reason the ones he was close with, never returned his feelings was slowly killing him inside.

"She always looks beautiful," he simply replied.

"Yeah, you're right," Hisagi said flashing his smile, making the blond curl his lips too. How much he loved that smile, that expression that soften his heavy expressions so well. Too bad that smile wasn't because of him.

Soon they arrived at the 6th Division barracks.

"We have to careful. Control your reiatsu levels, Hisagi-san."

"I know."

They carefully walked towards the Fukutaichou's quarters. The Squad barracks were empty, Kira knew Abarai must have told Rikichi to make sure no one was around when he came back.

It was quite common for the trio to do this. When one of them passed out drunk, the other two would take him to his quarters without their Taichou's knowing. Hisagi and Kira didn't have to worry about it anymore, since they had no longer captains, but Renji was another story. And the worst story too, because the two Shinigamis had to avoid Kuchiki-Taichou, the most intolerant person in Soul Society. Fortunately, the 6th Division leader lived in his Mansion far from Abarai's quarters.

Nonetheless, they needed to be careful, if a subordinate decided to tell Kuchiki Byakuya that his lieutenant arrived completely wasted, Renji was screwed.

Kira stayed alert while Hisagi took Abarai to his room. In less than 2 minutes they were away from the 6th.

"Damn, my neck hurts. Abarai is too heavy to be carried," Hisagi said touching the back of his neck.

"He was always a big guy."

"True, and he keeps getting bigger, lately. Must want to impress someone," Hisagi said murmuring.

Kira stayed silent, he agreed with Hisagi, Abarai was working out a lot in the past months, his body definitely increased size.

_'Must want to impress someone'_

Maybe it was Kurosaki Ichigo... Kira's eyes widen. Maybe this was a good opportunity to know what Hisagi really thought about homosexuality.

"Hisagi-san? Do you think what Ayasegawa-san said is true? About Abarai-kun being interested in Kurosaki-san?" he asked with confidence, in reality he was trying not to shake.

"It's possible. Renji likes anything that has two legs," Hisagi said.

"Is he gay?" Kira was shocked. Renji was a womanizer for him, the type that eats but doesn't settle. Kira was pretty sure he dated more girls than all the other Fukutaichous combined together.

"He's bi," Hisagi said. "You didn't know that?" Hisagi stopped on his track staring at the blond. Hisagi's eyes pierced through Kira like sharp needles. Kira felt his face getting warmer, he was blushing for sure.

"N-no. I know he had a lot of girls, but I never thought he would... go that way too," He watched his senpai's expression. It seemed like he wanted to say something, but nothing came out of his mouth, after a few seconds he lightly smiled.

"Well, he goes both ways," His smile grew a bit bigger, Kira melted at that sight. Hisagi didn't mind about Renji being interested in men, maybe he wouldn't mind to know that Kira was gay. Of course Kira would omit that he dreamed every night with him, that he was his love since he knew what being in love was.

"Do you think Kurosaki-san is gay?" the blond asked.

"I'm not sure about that. I haven't spent enough time with him to figure about that. But Rangiku-san may be right, after all he's just a kid. Renji should be cautious about that. For Ichigo he must be an old man," he chuckled.

"That's not fair to compare. Age is meaningless in here, and if we were about to convert, Abarai-kun wouldn't be that much older," Kira said.

"True, true. And Ichigo seems wise, and let's face it if he is old enough to fight and risk his life, he's also for love matters."

Kira smiled at those last words. "Love?" They stopped walking, when they reached the crossroad that lead them to different ways.

"Do you think Abarai-kun loves him?"

"Dunno," Hisagi replied. He crossed his arms and looked somewhere away not focusing in anything. The younger man loved when he did that. Showing off those long muscular arms was a beautiful sin.

"Do you believe in love Hisagi-san? True love?" Kira asked. The brunet looked at him, his eyes looking softly.

"I like to believe I do, even if true love doesn't exist, I believe in soul-mates, we all have another half somewhere. What about you Kira? Do you believe in true love?"

"I do," he replied quick and firmly. Hisagi flinched in surprise, he wasn't expecting something like that. Normally Kira was quite pessimistic, but this was a new side of him. He saw Kira's pale cheeks blushing.

"Are... Are you blushing Kira?" Kira blushed even more, Hisagi's eyes widen. "You  _are_  blushing. Talking about love and blushing... looks like  **you**  love someone..." Hisagi teased, only to realize Kira was now bright red. He was teasing but it looked like his kohai really liked someone.

"W-what? N-no..."

"Come on, tell me who is the lucky lady?" he teased some more.

"N-no one!" Great now, Kira wouldn't tell him for sure about his orientation.

"Is it Hinamori?" Hisagi asked raising an eyebrow.

"No, it's not her."

"Oh, so you DO love someone!"

"N-Nooo... I mean... I-I..." Kira was panicking, so much Hisagi found it cute. He chuckled. He knew the blond was too shy to say anything about this. Kira was a reserved person.

"Relax, Kira! If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to. But you will eventually tell me, you hear me?" he ruffled Kira's hair. Him still speechless.

"I'm gonna go now, I have to wake up early. Divisions don't take care of themselves alone. Go get some sleep too, Kira. And eat something!" He said starting to walk away.

"You too, Hisagi-san."

"Ja'ne."

Kira watched him walk away, and then turned around to his destination too.

Should he have told Hisagi that he was into guys too? He felt like he just missed the opportunity. Hisagi automatically thought he was interested in a girl, that's what he was expecting from him. He was expecting Kira to like girls.

Kira felt so coward, he didn't want to be rejected by him, though. Yeah sure, Hisagi didn't mind about Abarai, but Abarai also liked women. He could hide himself behind the bi label, like many others did; but Kira didn't have any interest in women, at all.

To not forget the fact that Abarai had a manly visual. Kira not so much. He was so self-conscious about about his lean physic. No matter how much he ate or worked out, he was still the smallest man among the Fukutaichous. Hisagi was also lean, but he had muscles and was nicely tall. He was lusciously fit, and he looked good in any type of uniform or yukata.

Damned, how much Kira desired him. Hisagi Shuuhei was a god walking between souls. He knew it, Kira knew it and the whole Seireitei knew it. Kira's competition was enormous, girls truly wanted a piece of Hisagi, and the blond felt powerless comparing himself to them.

Yeah, he did right not telling him. Hisagi trusted him, and counted with him as friend. Kira couldn't be selfish and spoil it with his unrequited feelings. He had to keep it a secret, like he did for the past half century.


	3. Desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remember when I wrote this chapter, back in 2012, that it was anounced that Bleach (anime) was going to be cancelled. The last episode was released on Kira's birthday. Can you believe it's been 6 years?!
> 
> I miss Bleach so much...

Chapter 2 –  _ **Desire**_

**Renji**

Determination. That was what anyone would say if they had to describe Abarai Renji. He was a man who would never give up, until he had what he wanted, no matter how difficult it would be.

If Renji wanted power, he would train nonstop until he achieve it; if he wanted money, he would do some extra work or find a way –most likely illegal, like gambling- to get the amount he needed; and if wanted someone... he would do anything to capture that person's heart, or in most cases their body. Everyone knew this, and everyone knew Renji always succeed in what he wanted to have. However, no one knew the reason why Renji was like this.

Determination was a good quality for a shinigami, but for the redhead, his determination existed for the wrong reasons.

Not because he wanted to become a good Shinigami and protect both his world and the human world from Hollows, or because he wanted to make something good for others. The reason why he was like this was because he had an inferiority complex. Abarai Renji, wasn't determinate, he was desperate. Desperate for being recognized, desperate for becoming something more than a Rukongai dog that lost everything when his precious friend was taken away from him.

The loss of Rukia's presence in his life, changed him completely in his heart. Of course he was still the Abarai everybody knew, but inside he was another person, a broken person. So he became determinate to overpower the man that was the catalyst of his change.

It was something known to everybody that Renji wanted to surpass Kuchiki Byakuya, but no one knew that the real reason, wasn't just the fact Rukia was taken away from him, by his Taichou, but because he simply wanted to be like him. He wanted to make people around him faint from his strong reiatsu, he wanted to make others bow to him, he wanted to be recognized as someone superior.

Renji had determination because he needed it to become alike the person he hated the most.

This, until, he met Kurosaki Ichigo. The moment he was defeated by the boy, something inside him snapped. It was when he realized he was being selfish. It didn't matter if he was strong or weak, recognized or invisible to others. He realized he was the way he was because of everything that happened in his life. All the obstacles weren't bad luck, but situations that made him grew into the man he was now. And he was a great man. He was hand-picked by the man he saw as his nemesis, to be his Fukutaichou. An honor that very few knew. And thanks to Ichigo he regained his childhood friend back.

That boy opened a window in Renji's life and showed him light where darkness prevailed. That boy saved him.

With these new feelings and friendship in his life, it didn't took long for Renji to see Ichigo with different eyes. The strawberry blond boy, was far more mature than kids at his age, and since Renji met him, he had developed fairly well physically. Renji could say he was deliciously hot, and the thought of having someone so strong dominating him, created a massive boner instantaneously. He was eager for him, he desired him. And this was now Renji's determination. He wanted to be fucked by Ichigo. Even though, if he had a chance would probably be the reverse. He didn't mind it. The idea of a naked Ichigo begging him for pleasure, was even more arousing.

Renji woke up, but kept staring at the greyish ceiling. His head hurt and his mouth tasted like vomit and old sake. He knew he was having a hangover, and he knew the moment he got up, the hangover was going to be much worse. He tried to focus on the night before.

He remembered drinking, a lot of drinking. Also Rukia hitting him several times; and Shuuhei laughing at him, a mocking laugh. Why was he laughing at him? Renji's eyes widen.

_'Shit.'_

Ichigo. They were talking about Renji being interested in Ichigo. He massaged his forehead with his fingers. Dammit, this was bad. If too much people knew about his crush, they would ruin everything. He was working very seriously in getting some kind of affection from the younger boy, and he knew that if too much people got in their way, Ichigo would step back, and these last months of flirting and  _that_ night clubbing would be wasted. He had to do something, he had to be more subtle, even if it wasn't his style and took a lot of work being subtle. The price was worth it.

Renji sat in his futon. His room was dark, with a little light coming from the small holes in the blinds, showing it was already day. He noticed he was in his sleeping yukata, and his hair down. He knew that this was the work of Shuuhei or Kira. He felt bad, because when he took one of them home, he was extremely careless, sometimes leaving them just sleeping in plain tatami. But Renji always woke up like this. Sleeping in his futon, in the proper outfit, finding his Shihakusho neatly folded in a chair or in the laundry basket, depending on the situation.

Maybe he shouldn't neglect so much his friends. He knew Shuuhei could take care of himself, but Kira was the type that needed a shoulder once in a while, even though since the Winter War, the blond ascended in his consideration.

It seemed that Kurotsuchi-Taichou had put several hidden cameras in the fake Karakura Town before going to Hueco Mundo, and after the War almost every Shinigami assisted at the records of Kira's fight against the Segunda Espada's fraccion Abirama Redder. And that battle left everybody in awe. Who knew Kira had such power? Such intelligence? The blond had proved that he wasn't Ichimaru's lackey, but one of the honorable Fukutaichous of the Gotei 13. Renji smiled to himself at the idea.

He looked at the clock in the wall across the room, and his heart for a moment seemed to stop.

"Oh shit!" he got up quickly and ran to the bathroom. He was late, extremely late. Kuchiki-Taichou was going to kill him. He stripped his night yukata throwing it at the corner of the bathroom. Without even thinking twice, he entered the tub and took a quick shower.

"Taichou is going to stab me..." he said to himself. Trying to be as fast as he could, he brushed his teeth and combed is wet hair. He didn't have time to dry it properly, and he didn't wan to tie it up. He knew his hair would get awfully wavy and untamed if he tied it wet. He went to his room to get a new uniform, when he saw, as he predicted, his hakama neatly folded in a chair. He dressed himself, when he remembered something. Before putting his white shitagi and kosode on, he looked for the cream he brought from the human world. Ichigo told him, that would help the tan. He hated to admit, by Rukia was right, getting sunburns was a pain in the ass, and last thing he wanted was his skin to scale. The cream had a coconut scent, it smelled like summer. He put it all over his torso and arms and got completely dressed, and left his house 'shumpoing' away to his office.

He stopped in front of the door. He could feel his Taichou's reiatsu inside, and he was sure the other man felt his, because his reiatsu increased a tiny bit. Oh shit, he was mad, for sure he was mad. Renji gulped, he tapped his clothes and passed his hand in his semi-wet hair. Hopefully his Taichou wouldn't mind his lack of presentation. Breathing deeply he knocked the door before entering.

"Good Morning Kuchiki-Taichou, I'm sorry for being late," he said as he bowed to the other man that was concentrated reading some kind of letter.

"Abarai, you need to-" Kuchiki stopped speaking when he looked up to the redhead. He stared at him with a glint of surprise in his eyes.

"Taichou?" Renji asked feeling awkward. His Captain was staring at him, staring! It was because of his hair? Shit, he should had tied it or braided it, anything. After a few seconds, the man recomposed himself.

"Abarai, you need to learn punctuality," he said with his deep authoritarian voice.

"I'm sorry, Taichou. I overslept," Renji excused himself bowing once again.

"You wouldn't oversleep if you didn't go out at night in your work days," Byakuya said looking down again at his letter.

Renji felt the will to clench his fists, but he didn't. Byakuya was an ass to him. Always. Renji always did his work, always followed his instruction, now he couldn't have fun when he wasn't working? He was in the real world for so long he deserved to spent at least one night with his friends. Was it so hard for his Taichou to understand that?

' _Of course it is, you have no friends, how can you understand?'_

"It was a welcome home gathering, Taichou," he simply said. Byakuya looked up at him and met his eyes. Renji tried to look firmly.

"Work is more important than... gatherings," Kuchiki said, "after what you reported to me yesterday, I intended that you were full of these  _social_   _reunions_  you do." Byakuya looked down at his letter again. Damn, he was pissed, Renji could feel it.

' _Screw you, just because you are anti-social doesn't mean I have to be too.'_

"I'm sorry, Taichou. This won't happen again." Renji said.

"I hope so. I should expect that the report is not still been done?" Byakuya asked.

Shit.

"I didn't know it was for today," Renji replied. His hands were sweaty. Why was he feeling so nervous? He should have been used to Kuchiki's demands.  _Kami,_  how much he wanted to be in the beach again... far from this place.

"It is," Byakuya said, "Do it now. And then fill the official report properly. Soutaichou is waiting for it."

"Yes," Renji bowed again and went to his desk. It wasn't a common thing for Taichou and Fukutaichou to share an office, but Kuchiki preferred it like this, probably to be easier to scold him. Renji rolled his eyes as he sat in his chair. This was a low-level mission he went on. These type of missions had a 48 hour period to report. He had two days to do it, it wasn't like an urgent mission, where the report had to be done right after arriving from the human world. Byakuya was a bastard, he only demanded the official report right away, because he wanted to punish Renji. Punish because he had fun. Because he drank after hours. Because he had friends. Bastard.

Renji picked up his pencil and sighed before starting to write what happened that night in the real world and his extra essay in how to deal with Hollows in human social events.

**0000000000**

"Renji, what the hell are you wearing?" Ichigo asked frowning more than usual, as he looked at the redhead that was wearing a leopard print shirt.

Renji looked down and then back at Ichigo.

"What? Don't I look sexy? Urahara-san said this is how humans dress when they go out party!" Renji said grinning, showing off his outfit. Ichigo narrowed his eyes.

"Sexy? Are you sick? It's clear that Urahara-san is messing with you again!" Ichigo said opening the slide door of his closet.

"Really? So this is not what humans wear at clubs?" Renji asked disappointed. He wanted to surprise the younger boy with some sexy clothes, and received the opposite effect instead.

"Only if you belong to the 80's and even so, that era was just awfully bad in clothing," Ichigo replied searching for something in his closet.

Renji knew something was wrong when Urahara insisted in giving him those clothes. The blond man didn't ask anything in return, no cleaning or chores as payment, he didn't even call him freeloader or anything. Even Jinta was behaving too well.

' _They were fucking with me all the time.'_

"Okay, try this," Ichigo said giving a black shirt to him. "I think it will fit you, it's brand new, I never used it because it's too big for me."

"Oh, but..."

"Come on just wear it, I'm not gonna go to a club with you like that," Ichigo said. Renji sighed and grabbed the shirt.

"Thanks."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Renji unbutton his leopard shirt and took it off. In the corner of his eye, he could feel Ichigo staring at him. Renji mentally smirked. He knew his body – his naked body- was his greater weapon, and no one could resist it. Lately he had worked out like crazy, and it was definitely worth it, now. Big muscles, tattoos, tanned skin, and his hair down, were the perfect combo to seduce someone. He was sure that he could get anyone that night, with that look, although, tonight he wanted Ichigo. And he would be the center of his attention.

"You're staring you know," Renji said, and watched Ichigo slightly blushing. Good, blushing was a good sign.

"Hmm, just... seeing that you're no longer red because of the sunburns," Ichigo said looking away.

"Yeah, that cream you gave me was really good," The redhead said as he dressed the black shirt. It was a bit tight, but not too much, just enough to show the shape of his muscles.

Voices could be heard outside the room.

"What time we decided to meet?" A female voice spoke, and Renji easily recognized it as Rukia's.

"In 5 minutes we have to pick up the others at Asano's house," A male voice spoke. Renji also recognized it as being Ishida's voice.

"Aren't we late?" Rukia asked as she opened the door.

"Yes, we are," Ishida replied as both walked in the room. Both stopping when they noticed Renji was there.

"I went to Urahara's looking for you baka!" Rukia scolded him.

"Sorry, I came here right away," Renji said. He glanced at Ichigo and he saw something that left him somewhat confused. Ichigo and Ishida were sharing a look. The redhead frowned a bit, he could swear he saw a shade of pink in the Quincy's cheeks. He couldn't be right. Ishida wasn't the type to blush in front of Ichigo or especially Shinigami. Since the fight in Hueco Mundo, Renji became somewhat friendly with Ishida, and he knew that the boy was extremely proud and serious about everything he did. Blushing out of nowhere was something extremely odd.

"Well, we are all ready, let's go to Keigo's," Ichigo said.

It was already night, but the streets were still crowded. People were arriving home, probably from their jobs. Renji really liked how the whole human system worked. In some aspects it was very similar to the Shinigami life. But the way humans managed to deal with their everyday lives, how they created so many little things to assist them, it was just amazing. Renji could miss Soul Society, but being in the human world was much more amusing. Especially when he was walking next to Ichigo. Oh  _Kami,_  Ichigo was looking so damn sexy, with a dark purple shirt and dark jeans that fitted his bottom so well. Renji licked his lips, how much he wanted to take those pants off and...

"Renji! Are you listening?" Ichigo broke his thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"We arrived," The younger said as he stopped in front of a house. He ringed the bell. After a few minutes of ringing, Keigo appeared at his window.

"ICHIGO! We are kinda late... And I'm trying to ditch my sister, she wants to come to," Keigo said. A hand came from behind him and slapped his head.

"Ahh nee-chan please, sorry... ah! AHH!" He disappeared inside and in seconds appeared through the door. He ran and hid after Ichigo.

"Mizuho! You're a psychopath!" Keigo screamed.

"What did you just said?" A girl came at the door. Then a voice spoke behind her.

"I'm sick of being here, how much more time are you gonna take Yumichika!" Ikkaku came to the street.

"I'm going, I'm going!" Yumichika appeared right after.

"Daaarling! I'm going to the club too!" the girl said clinging into Ikkaku's arm. Ikkaku just sighed. Renji chuckled and the looked at Yumichika that was glaring the girl.

"That's it!" The beautiful shinigami spoke angry, "I can't stand this bitch anymore!" he pulled up the sleeves of his sweatshirt. Was he going to beat the girl? He walked to Ikkaku and Mizuho and said.

"Stop touching him! He's mine! He doesn't want your ugly ass!" he grabbed Ikkaku's neck and pulled him to him, kissing him right there in the middle of the street in front of everybody.

"Y-you're gay?" she asked shocked. Renji laughed, and glanced at Ichigo, he had a smirk in his face too. Nice! That meant he didn't mind about guys kissing and gay stuff. Renji was enthusiastic now. This night he wouldn't fail! Even if he couldn't go all the way, he was going to make-out with Ichigo.

"Kyaaaa!" Mizuho screamed, "That's sooo hot! Yaoi, yaoi, yaoi!" she kept fan-girling.

"Hmm... Doesn't yaoi only apply to manga and animé?" Rukia asked Renji.

"I don't know, I don't read that shit," Renji replied.

"Yeah, right. You live that shit," She laughed making him laugh too.

"Ok, let's go. Chad and Inoue will meet us there. Lead the way, Keigo." Ichigo said.

**0000000000**

Renji couldn't believe the amount of alcoholic beverages the real world had. And he couldn't believe the amount of combinations it was possible to do with the simple mixing of drinks. But when he saw that there was a strong drink that was as black as a Shinigami outfit, he just knew he had to taste it! And luck was at his side! Because Ichigo accepted his drinking challenge.

And now Ichigo was getting drunk. Perfect! He was becoming vulnerable. And thanks to the super loud music, he needed to be very close to speak.

"Dude, since when you are into guys?" Ichigo asked him at his ear, the music was so loud, Renji thanked the gods for that.

"Since always!" he yelled back at the boys ear. Trying not to be too obvious he came closer to the boy leaning at the bar, as they kept drinking shots.

"Bullshit! You like boobs! Big boobs!" Ichigo said.

"I'm bi. I like men and women."

"And who do you prefer? Guys or girls?" he asked Renji, looking at his eyes. Damn, he was seducing him, and Renji was falling for it.

"Let's say it's a 60/40% in favor of... guys." Renji replied back.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"How come I never saw you with a guy before?" Ichigo asked.

"You never saw me with a woman either."

"Yeah, but I witnessed you drooling over girls."

"That's because I'm private when it comes to guys. Seireitei has some strict rules."

"That's shitty. So how many guys did you date?" Ichigo asked turning around. Now both men were facing each other, leaning at the bar.

"Hmm... I don't really date them, it's more one night stand or fuck buddies. I only dated seriously one guy," he said, and paused, and then he smirked, "And you know him!" Ichigo's face changed to surprise.

"No way! You dated Byakuya!" He said with his eyes wide open. Renji frowned.

"What the hell? Are you insane? Why did you think of him?" Renji couldn't believe in Ichigo's words.

"Why? Don't you have a crush on him?"

"What? He's my Taichou! He's the last guy I would ever date! And he is the last guy on this universe that would date a man. He's the straightest man ever!"

"Hmm, really? I always thought you guys had a thing. There's a strange vibe between you two."

"Yeah, it's called Rukia, and has nothing to do with dating."

Renji couldn't deny that some people might find difficult to understand that his resolution to surpass his captain was really what it meant. No hidden meanings in between. Yeah, sure Byakuya was as hot as the sun, and the fact he was elected as the sexiest Shinigami alive by the Female Shinigami Association was well decided, but Byakuya was the most non-sexual creature Renji ever met. He never revealed any interest in women or men. And Rukia had told him, that Byakuya never went out at night (except in missions) and never had conjugal visits of any kind.

Dating Byakuya was just an absurd idea, and there were two facts to prove that. First, even if there was a tiny little nano chance of Byakuya being gay, he would never choose a Rukongai dog like Renji, he would certainly choose someone socially important, like a noble; and second, Byakuya was probably the worst guy in bed. He might be gorgeous, but he looked like he didn't even know how sex was made. Of course, he knew since he had a wife, but sex between men, he definitely wouldn't know how to deal with that.

"So, who is it then? Yumichika-san or Ikkaku?" Ichigo asked.

"No. They've been together since ever, and no one ever got between them."

"Then who?" Ichigo was really curious.

"Hmm... Ok, I'll tell you, but this is between us, almost no one knows this, and we are both in big positions in the Gotei 13, so we have to be careful with this type of thing."

"Okay, I promise!"

"Hisagi."

"What?" Ichigo asked, he didn't hear because of the loud music.

"Hisagi Shuuhei," Renji repeated louder at his ear. Ichigo seemed surprise.

"Really? He's gay too?"

"Bi."

Ichigo laughed.

"What?" Renji asked.

"Nothing, he just... you know, he has that tattoo in his face," Ichigo said. Renji smirked.

"I know," He wiggled his eyebrows perversely.

**0000000000**

Renji always thought luck was relative, it was something that couldn't be labeled or even named. Luck was just the good side of an odd. And now Renji was on the good side of this odd for sure. In this moment, Renji felt like the luckiest guy in history.

Ichigo was wasted, really drunk, and was dancing with his butt rubbing against Renji's crotch. And Renji had stopped long ago trying to hide his erection.

The club's lights were flashing so intensely, that made people, that were dancing at the sound of the house music, looking like they were moving in slow motion. It was crowded, it was sweaty and it was oddly discrete. Renji's hands were under Ichigo's shirt, in his hips, and no one could see it. The redhead was amazed how no one was looking at two guys dancing like that. The real world was so open-minded compared to Soul Society. A paradise for homosexuals, a gay heaven!

He wrapped his arms around Ichigo's body, inside his shirt. Ichigo leaned back against his body, resting the back of his head in Renji's chest. The older man could feel the younger's sweaty firm chest.

He leaned down and reached the younger's ear.

"Ichigo," he said, his voice sounded husky, but he wasn't sure since he couldn't hear it. Ichigo shivered in his arms.

"Do you wanna go somewhere less... crowded?" Renji asked. The boy had his eyes closed, he simply nodded.

He let go -for his displeasure – Ichigo's body and took his arm and walked through the dance-floor. He was also drunk, but he was still conscious of his actions, which was a good thing. Now he just had to find a place where he could  _taste some Kurosaki_.

Looking around, he noticed the bathroom, that would be the place. At least there, he didn't have to avoid the others. He knew that if Yumichika saw him with Ichigo, the rest of the world would know the next day.

They reached the bathroom, and for the redhead's surprise it was pretty empty. Ignoring a guy that was doing his business, he entered one of the bathroom stalls, locking the door right away.

Ichigo leaned against the wall, his eyes semi-closed. Renji gasped at the sight. His orange hair was damped because of the sweat in his forehead. His shirt was unbutton till his stomach. His cheeks were flushed, and his mouth was slightly opened as he breathed. Damn, Ichigo was sexy, really sexy.

Renji moved forward to him. He pinned the boy, with is arm in the wall, between it and himself. With his other hand he touched the exposed chest. It was warm. Renji leaned against Ichigo's ear.

"You should look at yourself now, Ichigo. You are so sexy," he unbutton the rest of the shirt, revealing Ichigo's amazing body. He caressed it with his hand. He licked the boy's ear, receiving a moan in return. He couldn't bear it anymore. Pressing his body against him, he could feel Ichigo's body reacting to him. Ichigo was aroused and Renji moaned knowing it.

"Ichigo... Kami..." Renji said, licking his cheeks, "I wouldn't mind you fucking me," he said, licking the boy's lips. Ichigo's little tongue met his, in a little lick.

"I wouldn't mind fucking yo,." Ichigo said with his eyes closed. This was it, Renji kissed him, really kissed him. In a furious and needed kiss, his tongue ravaging the younger's mouth. Ichigo moaned in the kiss, and that made Renji's pants tight even more. He ground his body against the boy's. Both moaning as he frantically ground both clothed erections. It was so good, he didn't even remember the last time he felt this good. But it wasn't enough, he needed more. He needed actual skin contact, he needed to feel his naked body against his. He started to unbuckle his own pants.

Ichigo's hand grabbed his face, while they were kissing, deepening it.

"Where are your glasses?" Ichigo said between kisses.

' _Glasses?'_

Renji thought. Till he remembered when Ichigo broke his uber expensive glasses, when they first met. Twice.

"You broke them," he replied kissing.

"I did?" Ichigo breathed as Renji started to lick his neck.

"Yeah."

"Gomen..."

Ichigo apologizing? Wow, Renji really liked drunk Ichigo. He kissed his neck then chest. Ichigo had such a nice body, damn, and he was still young. Renji could only imagine how he would look like when he became a full adult in a few years.

His hand traveled to the top of Ichigo's pants, opening his belt, His erection was obvious through the jeans. He trailed Ichigo's torso with his tongue, till he reached his hips. He wanted to taste him so badly, he had so much desire for that body, for that cock, damn... that damn belt was so difficult to remove.

The bathroom was suddenly filled with voices.

"Ayasegawa-san are you sure they are here?" Ishida spoke, at least it sounded like Ishida. Renji gulped.

"Fuck," He whispered. He got up, and tried to buckle his belt again. Ichigo was now in semi-unconscious state. When did he become so numb? Renji frowned. Damn... if they found them like this, they would accuse Renji of abusing him or something.

"Kurosaki are you here?" Ishida almost yelled. "Kurosaki!"

"Hmm..." Ichigo tried to move. "I feel sick."

Renji wasn't prepared for what happened next when Ichigo threw up, in the floor next to the toilette, and to his shoes.

Renji opened the stall, he was the type that threw up just by hearing someone else doing it.

Ishida was there watching them, when the door opened. Renji got out.

"I'm gonna throw up too if I stay there," Renji said as he exited the bathroom. He felt bad, for leaving Ichigo there, sick. But he wasn't alone, Ishida wouldn't leave him there by himself right? The Quincy could hate Shinigamis, but he still had morals.

The club was still the same, but Renji's head hurt so badly he couldn't stay there anymore. He left the club and went to the street. There were some people also throwing up next to the club, but the fact Renji was outside and the cool air hit his hot body, it was much bearable than that tiny bathroom stall.

He was still half hard, but the vomit sounds, were killing his mood.

He couldn't believe what just happened. He made out with Ichigo. He made Ichigo hard! And Ichigo said he wouldn't mind fucking him. This was insanely awesome. He almost blew him, if it wasn't for that damn Yumichika and Ishida... Fuck... Yumichika knew he was in the bathroom with Ichigo. Shit, he had to talk to him, bribe him and do some damage control before they arrived Seireitei and was too late.

"Renji! Are you ok?" Rukia came from inside, joining him.

"Yeah, I just need some air, I kinda drank too much," he said to the girl.

"I know, I drank too much too. Look, nii-sama can't know this, or we are screwed," she said half laughing, half serious.

"You mean I'm screwed!" Renji corrected her, "I'm supposed to keep an eye on you. If anything happens to you, he will blame me, even if it's not my fault."

"Yeah, especially when you missed the hollow."

"What hollow?" Renji asked frowning.

"The one that was above you when you were dancing and Ishida killed before he attacked you and Ichigo."

Renji was about to answer, when Keigo came from inside running.

"Oh shit, oh shit! We have to leave, Ikkaku punched a guy and now everybody is fighting in the club. They called the cops. We have to leave now!"

"Where's Orihime? Rukia asked.

"I'm here!" Orihime appeared with Sado, "Things went really wild there." She said.

"Where's Ikkaku?" Renji asked. Not much longer after, Yumichika pulled Ikkaku from inside, and Ishida also came with Ichigo, his arm around the Quincy's shoulder for support.

They walked away as fast as they could until Keigo stopped in the middle of the street.

"Shit. I forgot my sister!" He panicked, then his panic faded away, "Whatever, I'm too tired for this, I let her beat me tomorrow."

Everybody literally sweat-dropped, at his carefree attitude.

**0000000000**

Renji stopped writing, when he realized what he had done.

"Shit, I can't write this here!" He said a bit too loud, capturing his Taichou's attention.

"Abarai, is there a problem?" He asked looking to his subordinate.

"No! I just have made a mistake and have to re-write the report."

"That's not a reason to dirty your speech."

"Gomen, Taichou, it won't happen again," Renji said.

"I'm going to be absent for a few hours. Hopefully, your report will be done when I''ll come back," Byakuya said as walked to the sliding door. He stopped when he passed by Renji.

"Abarai."

"Yes, Taichou?"

"What's that scent you have on?" Byakuya asked without looking at him.

"My scent? Oh! It's coconut, Taichou," Renji replied.

Byakuya said nothing before walking again and leaving.

Renji was impressed. He was expecting to be scolded for using a strong scent, and Kuchiki was only... curious? What a weird man. No matter how much Renji tried to understand him, it was impossible. He was just too damn weird. It even surprised him, how Byakuya could tolerate him so well. They were so different, so incompatible. How could Ichigo think he had a crush on him...

Renji blushed. Ichigo. Writing all that happened, made him remember every detail of that night. Him grabbing Ichigo, feeling Ichigo, Ichigo all over him – him all over Ichigo. He couldn't stop thinking about it. He had his fair share of men and women in his life, but he never felt like this before. Well, maybe with Shuuhei, but with him was different, because at the time he was in love with Hisagi.

Renji's eyes widen. He finally understood. Why he was feeling like this. It wasn't just Ichigo's body. It was also his company, his actions, his soul... It was all of him, he desired. Renji wanted it all, and he wanted it because he was in love with Kurosaki Ichigo.

The redhead leaned back in his chair. It made sense, that he was in love. And he could accept it, it felt good to love him. So now, he only had to make Ichigo fall in love with him. He hadn't see him since that night, because apparently the boy got the hangover of his life and wasn't even able to leave bed, and because Urahara ordered Renji to clean the whole shop before he left. But, anyway, Ichigo that night seemed very open-minded and let him do anything he wanted. He just had now to encourage the boy to accept things like he did, sober. It shouldn't be difficult. As long as Renji didn't hurt his ego and pride, it should be fine.

Renji even offered himself as bottom, so this should make things easier.

Renji grinned like a fool. He was happy. Finally, he had something worthy of his determination.

 


	4. Deception

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the Kudos! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this Kira sad chapter. Although he is depressed, little by little his confidence will grow.

**Kira**

Kira always wondered why people were mean to each other. Why people enjoyed to hate so much? Why would they judge others when they were probably worse than them? Why would they bash someone just for the their amusement?

Kira knew he was sensitive to certain things, but he knew he wasn't being oversensitive over this matter. Hatred really made Kira sick. It made his stomach ache. He simply couldn't stand seeing people being bullied.

Of course, if Kira analyzed why he was like that, it would be easy to figure what made him feeling like this. He didn't need to be a genius to understand he himself was a victim of bullying in the past. Not the aggressive physical type of bullying, but mentally he was scarred. Ichimaru Gin had create a side on Kira, that no one knew. Even if he was known as a pessimistic person, no one knew how truly fragile he had become. Gin had changed him into a person that would accept whatever faith would bring, good or bad. A fatalist. That's why he would never take a risk. He would never try to surpass his own limits, not even for the sake of happiness.

Ichimaru had planted a seed inside Kira's heart that made him grow into a dark person, into someone no one would expect him to become. And Kira never regretted it. He was bullied by that man he once respected and idolized, but not even once he regretted to bow his head to him. He regretted though, fighting Hinamori. That time he wouldn't think twice before killing her, his dear friend. He would do that for his Taichou, for the man who taught him that life wasn't a fairy tale. That life had thorns and spikes, and that every move he made had consequences, and one way or another he would ending up bleeding. He regretted fighting his friend, and regretted many other things that were all consequences of Ichimaru's deception, but never his Taichou's teachings and obeying his demands.

Everyday, Kira woke up with this in mind. He had sold his soul to the devil in the past, and now he was paying for it. He was paying it with loneliness, but he didn't regret it. No, he really didn't, because the alternative was probably way worse.

Ichimaru was the one that showed him how tall the fall was, and thanks to him he didn't lose the only thing that kept him together. He made sure his heart was locked and the key thrown away. That's right, Gin was the one that showed Kira, how much his love for Hisagi Shuuhei was in vain.

Kira stood in front of the 9th division's Seireitei Communication magazine office. As many other Shinigamis he contributed to the magazine, with his own pieces: some of his haiku work and his serial novel "I want to apologize to you". Like always he finished his pieces before the dateline. He knew how busy Hisagi would be, because the other contributors tended to send their work at the last minute, so every month Kira would find himself like he was now. In front of that office, thinking in how he should approach the one he loved.

' _Hey, I was wondering if you want to go out lunch with me.'_

No.

' _Hisagi-san, it's a beautiful day outside, would you like to eat out?'_

No way.

' _Wanna grab a bite?'_

"What kind of language is that?" Kira murmured. Before he could go back to his train of thoughts, the door before him slid. Hisagi almost bumped him.

"Wh- Kira!" Hisagi said, "What are you doing here in front of the door?"

"Hmm... I-I'm..." He breathed deeply, he didn't have to be so shy about it, but still he felt that he wasn't prepared to speak to Hisagi. Every month, when he delivered his work, he asked Shuuhei to lunch with him, and every month the handsome man replied yes. "I came to give you next month's chapter for the magazine."

Hisagi's eyes widened in surprise.

"Oh, okay," He turned around and walked inside, Kira followed him. No one else was in the office, Hisagi sat on his desk; Kira closed the door behind him and walked to the same desk and sat in the chair next to him. He gave his folder to Hisagi.

"I wish everybody was like you, instead of leaving everything for the last day," the brunet said, Kira smiled. "And they have no excuse, you are always so busy with your division fulfilling two roles like me, yet you do everything in time... They really could care a little bit more."

"I'm sure they are busy too," Kira said as he watched Hisagi taking the pieces of paper from inside the folder.

"Busy drinking and fooling around. Seriously, what do you think Abarai or Rangiku-san are doing?"

"Abarai-kun must be filling all those reports he was supposed to do while he was away."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that," Hisagi chuckled, "his Taichou doesn't let anything pass."

Kira chuckled too, then he watched Hisagi as he read his novel. His heart was racing, would Hisagi accept his work? Of course he would. He always accepted, right?

After the betrayal, Shuuhei convinced him to write a long story on his magazine. The tittle could be mistaken for a lot of things. Some pretty obvious for people who knew him, but reality was that he wrote that novel for himself. To unwind his mind, to say everything he couldn't speak out loud. It was his feelings there, disguised as a drama novel.

Hisagi was reading the papers focused, he was pretty serious.

"Wow, this chapter is quite heavy," he said after finishing.

"You think so?"

"Yeah, I mean the main character's emotions are completely exposed. All those feelings he kept inside erupted. As always you did a great work, Kira," Hisagi said smiling at him. Kira lightly blushed.

"Thank you," He replied, "I was afraid this one wasn't good enough."

"Trust me, it is. It will make the female readers cry."

"That is not my intention, but it I guess it would make me feel strangely good," Kira said, Hisagi laughed.

"Even Kira- _chan_  needs some ego boost sometimes," Hisagi teased, making the younger man embarrassed.

"Very funny, Hisagi-san," Kira laughed.

"It is funny!" He laughed too, "Well, I'll keep this then," Hisagi put the folder inside his drawer.

"Hisagi-san," Kira said, "do you want to go lunch on that new restaurant that everybody is talking about? My treat!" He tried not to sound too eager.

"Sorry Kira, but I planned to go lunch with Rangiku-san, she said she had something to talk about."

"Oh," Kira said, this was unexpected. The blond tried not to show in his face, but he was very disappointed.

"I'm really sorry, I was already going to meet her when you came," Hisagi excused himself.

"That's alright, we can lunch next time."

"Yeah, let's do that," Hisagi said smiling. They both stayed there in silence for a while. Kira was feeling uncomfortable. He felt like crying, but held it inside. God, he was so pathetic, wanting to cry because of a little innocent rejection. Since when these little things affected him so much? It wasn't the first time, Hisagi met with Matsumoto, they both even went in missions alone. And even though it was rare, it wasn't the first time he was rejected like this. Why was he feeling like this?

"I better go now," He said forcing a smile.

"I'll go too, she must be waiting," that hurt Kira even more. Was it bad that he didn't want Hisagi to go? That he wanted to monopolize him?

Both Fukutaichous left the 9th division together. Hisagi spoke about several issues within his Squad, and Kira just silently listened. He was afraid to let his emotions escape if he opened his mouth.

"I'm going this way," Hisagi said pointing the path to the 10th Squad.

"Okay," Kira replied lowly. Hisagi stood there watching him. It was awkward, how his gaze could make Kira feel so vulnerable. The blond tried very hard to not tremble, looking down at the floor.

"What about we go dinner together tonight?" Hisagi asked, Kira's eyes met Hisagi's, he smiled.

"Sure, if you have time," The smaller man replied.

"I'll find time. We can go to that new restaurant you talked about," Hisagi said. Kira was genuinely smiling.

"Where do we meet?" Oh, did that sound too eager?

"I'll go get you at your squad around 20h to be safe."

"I'll wait for you," Kira said, Hisagi smiled.

"Then it's a deal. I have to go now, I'm really late. See you."

"Bye," Kira replied. He walked back to his squad with a smile on his face. This was one of the reasons he loved that man. Hisagi surprised him with these type of things when he least expected. The 9th division Fukutaichou had no idea how much power he had over him, he could make him feel the happiest man on Soul Society in one minute, and in the next he could crush him. Hisagi controlled Kira's happiness like he was a little puppet.

Ichimaru might have done everything to keep Kira away from Hisagi, and Kira himself, decided to never try anything with the brunet, but these little moments he had with him were so pure and powerful, he couldn't help but have a little bit of hope.

The whole afternoon seemed to last longer than usual. Kira was so anxious he could barely focus on his work.

He left his office earlier and went home. Even if there were still a couple of hours for Hisagi to come he wanted to get ready.

He took a shower and dressed a new shihakushou, for a moment he pondered if he should dress something different, but he would be strange to change just for a dinner between two colleagues, so he simply changed into a new and clean uniform. He was ready and now he just had to wait.

Maybe he could convince Hisagi to come to his house after for some sake. That would be amazing. Even if there was nothing more than just chatting, having Hisagi's attention all to himself felt really good.

Kira's heart was pounding faster and faster as the clock pointer was closer to 20h00. Kira wondered what Matsumoto wanted to talk with Hisagi. Probably for him to do some hard work. Hisagi never said "no" to anyone, he always had that "help everybody" mentality. It was a cute side of him, but the idea of him helping other people, especially Matsumoto was somewhat nerve-wracking. The woman basically enslaved him every time she could, but Hisagi's kindness sometimes blinded him to the point where he became stupid. Kira could hate bullies, but he also hated when Hisagi was kind with others.

20h00.

He was being selfish thinking that way, and he knew that. But since he would never tell anyone his deep desires, it wouldn't hurt anyone being selfish, right?

20h05.

It's not like he wanted Hisagi to become a bully and use and abuse people around him. That would be like having another Ichimaru in his life. And Hisagi was the polar opposite of Ichimaru.

20h10.

Hisagi was a little late, wasn't he? He said he had a lot of work. But damned, the anxiety was killing Kira.

20h25.

Should he meet him halfway? What if Shuuhei decided to take another path in another road and they wouldn't cross each other? No, he should stay there and wait.

20h45.

It wasn't really Hisagi's type to be so late. Maybe he was really busy, he said "around 20h00 to be safe" after all.

21h15.

Kira heard well, right? He was going to meet him at his place? If they weren't scolded by Sasakibe last meeting because of the use of Hell Butterflies for personal matters, he could have send one, asking if everything was fine and how long would he take.

21h30.

It was getting late, and the blond couldn't take it anymore. Kira decided to go to the 9th Division meeting Hisagi there. He took the path they normally would take just in case.

It was cold, and the night was very dark. The moon absent from the sky. Kira entered the 9th barracks and was greeted by a shinigami that was passing by.

"Kira-Fukutaichou."

"I came to meet Hisagi-Fukutaichou," Kira said.

"Hisagi-Fukutaichou left a couple of hours ago.".

"He did?" Kira frowned. Did he really misunderstood Hisagi? Didn't he say he would meet him at his house? Maybe it was at the restaurant they were supposed to meet?

Kira turned back and used his shunpo to go to the restaurant. It was probably 22h00 now, there was a chance Hisagi wasn't even there anymore, that, if he actually was there.

It didn't take long for Kira to reach his destination. He stopped using his shunpo as he saw the restaurant. He gulped. The lights inside illuminated part of the road surrounding it. People were entering and leaving normally. The streets were a bit crowded, but nothing unusual for the most entertaining street from the Seireitei.

He had to go look inside the restaurant, ask the host if Hisagi was there. Kira walked through the street between the crowds of Shinigamis, some drunk leaving the bars, others just meeting there, until he saw a familiar face coming from the restaurant. Kira's eyes widen, his face turning into a bright smile. Hisagi was at the door, he seemed to be leaving. The blond waved his hand.

"HISA-" Kira was calling for him, when he noticed someone behind Hisagi. A woman's laugh could be heard, Kira could easily recognize that voice. It was Matsumoto. Kira's smiling face faded away, his hand slowly dropping. Matsumoto was with Hisagi. Hisagi was with Matsumoto. They were together... in the restaurant Hisagi planned to go with Kira... He planned to go with him and now he was with her... Kira's heart started to ache, he had been so stupid, thinking he could have Hisagi all to himself. Hoping for a  _date_  with him.

Kira's eyes filled with tears he didn't want to shed. He saw Matsumoto clinging into Hisagi's arm while they were leaving, and Hisagi... he was smiling. The smile he always made for him, he was doing it for her too. The tears felt through his cheeks. Of course that smile wasn't just for him. Kira knew he shouldn't have think too high of himself, he wasn't special for Hisagi, he was another person he was kind with.

His heart hurt so much, his whole body seemed to be in pain. He stood there like that for a while till he realized some shinigamis were looking funny at him. It was a bad place to be, especially crying. That was really shameful. A Fukutaichou crying in the middle of a popular street.

Kira walked back slowly, he cleaned his tears with his kosode sleeves, but more threatened to come out. He was so eager to be with Hisagi, and he forgot him, or worse, ignored him to be with Matsumoto. Weren't they together that day already? Kira frowned. Were they together since lunch time? Then he froze. Were they going together the whole night? Kira panicked.

"No... No, they can't."

He covered his face with his hands. This couldn't be happening. They couldn't be together. It would be the death of him. He would die, he wouldn't be able to live anymore. The tears fell once again. How could this be possible? Hisagi abandoned him and now he and Matsumoto... They were about to... No! This couldn't happen! He wouldn't let that happen. He had to do something. He had to avoid them being together.

He was sure they wouldn't go to the 10th Division, because Hitsugaya-Taichou didn't let Rangiku bring any guy there for the purpose of having sex. So if they were going to do it, it was going to be in Hisagi's Squad. That was it.

Kira used his shunpo and returned to the 9th barracks. He reduced as much as he could his reiatsu and entered the Squad without getting unwanted attention. He quickly moved to Hisagi's quarters door. He wasn't there. In fact Hisagi wasn't there in the Squad at all, and he barely could sense him, he could sense the woman though, her reiatsu was a bit irregular but it seemed like they were both moving. Maybe they didn't arrive yet, Kira used his shunpo to move after all. It was normal they were behind.

Kira stood there for almost an hour. He could sense they were somewhere close. It was strange because it didn't take an hour to come. Then the thought of them to be in a love inn, came to his mind. Maybe they just rented a room, where they could be together, it would make sense, right? Being somewhere private without people from their squads knowing.

Kira slid down the door and sat on the floor. He closed his eyes. What was he doing? Preventing Hisagi from being with his crush. It was so selfish of him. The blond wanted him to be happy, he truly did. Even if not with him, with someone else should be ok. What mattered was his happiness. But it hurt so much. It hurt, Hisagi liked Matsumoto, it hurt Hisagi would please her, it hurt she was going or probably having his body, having him. It hurt so much, Kira thought he wasn't going to be able to deal with it much more.

Minutes, hours, he didn't know how much time he spent there in the cold waiting for someone he wasn't sure how to react with. He wasn't even sure why he was still waiting, but his body simply didn't want to move.

"Kira?"

He looked from where the sound came. It was him.

"What are y-" Hisagi's eyes widen, "Oh shit, I forgot!" Ow, that hurt more than a rusty zanpakuto piercing his body, he had forgotten...

"I'm sorry Kira, I forgot to tell you I couldn't go," Hisagi said ducking near him. Izuru didn't know what to say. He knew if he spoke he would screw everything he work so hard to maintain.

"But what are you doing here in the cold? You should have deduced that I wasn't going."

"I was worried," Kira replied, he noticed Hisagi was looking at him focused. He could smell sake from him. "I... I came here, and one of your Division members told me you already had left. I was worried something might have happened to you," He said lowly.

Hisagi's eyebrows went up.

"Nothing happened, I just had some things to take care of."

"What things?"

Hisagi paused.

"You know, some squad stuff," He replied. Kira tried not to show through his face he knew he was lying.

"You smell of alcohol."

"Ah, that's because we found Ikkaku and Yumichika and we went to a bar."

"We?"

"What?"

"You said "we found"."

Hisagi stood there silent.

"Yeah, I found Rangiku-san too, nearby."

Why was he lying? Kira felt so insulted. He was abandoned by Hisagi, and he didn't even tell him the truth? Kira always did his friend role. Hisagi told him everything, why not this? Wasn't he his best friend, like he told him he was?

"I see."

Kira was looking down, he couldn't look at his eyes, or he would breakdown.

"Kira, are you mad?"

"No," Kira lied.

"You look mad."

"I'm not mad. I'm just tired."

"I'm really sorry, Kira. I was going to send a newbie to to tell you I wasn't going, but I really forgot. Though, I wasn't expecting you to be at my door at 1 am," Hisagi chuckled.

This was really embarrassing. Kira felt ashamed of what he did, how pathetic it was of him to be there for hours waiting for... a friend? This was utterly suspicious of him. He screwed up big time and only realized when it was too late.

"It's ok. I'm glad nothing bad happened." Kira stood up. "I'm leaving."

"Already? Don't you wanna come in?" Hisagi asked.

"No, I can't. I have to wake up early tomorrow," He simply said. Hopefully his acting skills would work this time. Hisagi could be able to see through him sometimes, but now Kira wouldn't let him.

"You sure? I mean you waited here for so long, and now you're leaving."

"I wasn't here very long," Kira lied. "Just for like half an hour."

"Oh." Hisagi looked down. "Okay, then. Still, sorry."

"That's fine," Kira forced a smile. "Bye Hisagi-san."

"Bye Kira."

He left without looking back. Using his shunpo he went home. He opened his door and took his waraji off, after he locked the door. He walked into the leaving room, without turning on the lights. He stopped in the middle, and without being able to control it, he fell on the floor on his knees. He burst in tears. He cried so much, his head ache with the force of his sobs. All the accumulating crying leaving his body.

He had been a fool. Ichimaru was right all the time. It was worthless to have hope with Hisagi. Kira was so ashamed of himself, of being the way he was. Of being gay. Soul Society saw homosexuality as an abnormality, and that was what he was, he was abnormal, a freak. Kira knew this pain in chest was the price to pay for being a  _sick_  person. A man who liked another man. But he couldn't do anything about it. He tried to not think about him, not to have those dirty thoughts, he tried to be  _normal_  and like women but he couldn't. Those feelings were too strong, or maybe he was just too weak to overcome them. He didn't know.

He laid on the floor, his tears flowing without sign of stopping. Izuru loved Hisagi so much, he really did. And he wanted him to be happy, but Hisagi being happy would mean Kira breaking into little pieces. Was that what he should do? Let himself break, for the one he loved. He wanted Hisagi to be happy more than anything.

Kira's sobs calmed. It was the only thing he could, letting him being happy. He had to stop being so selfish. Hisagi wanted someone to be by his side, maybe Matsumoto would be that someone.

"Hisagi-san... You're breaking me." With that, Kira fell asleep.

**0000000000**

" _Izuru, why are y_ _a_ _cryin_ _'_ _?"_

Kira gasped and sat in his futon. He was sweating but he felt cold, his skin covered in goosebumps. He laid back again and tucked himself within the futon. His heart beat fast, and he was shaking. Shaking because of the cold? Because he was afraid? He wasn't sure. It wasn't often he had a nightmare, but when he had he knew something bad would happen. Coincidence or dream-prediction, he couldn't tell what it was, but he could feel his sixth sense kicking inside him. That dream meant something, and he was terrified with that idea.

Two days had passed since he saw Hisagi that night with Matsumoto, and he hadn't met with him not once since then. Kira made it on purpose, avoiding him was the only solution for his heart. He needed time to heal, at least time for the shattered pieces of his heart to glue back together.

Hisagi had come once to visit him at his office and at his house, but he pretended he wasn't there. He couldn't forget that easily the fact that Hisagi lied to him. It hurt him more than anything knowing that he wasn't that important.

Going back to sleep was impossible, and because of that, Izuru hadn't slept at all. Something pretty obvious for Abarai when he met him at outside the First Squad barracks in the morning.

"Jeez, you're really pale Kira, more than usual," Abarai said as they walked through the corridor that led them to the Fukutaichou meeting room.

"I didn't sleep well. I had a nightmare about the past..." Kira said.

"Past?" Abarai asked raising an eyebrow, Kira was pretty sure he understood what he meant, but thankfully Abarai's common sense wasn't completely off so he didn't push through it. "Aren't you a little old to be scared of a nightmare?"

"I'm not scared," Kira said, "It's just that I have a bad feeling."

"Kira you need to be more optimistic. Look at the bright side of things. People respect you since you fought that Arrancar. Word is that even Soutaichou was impressed. Maybe you'll be promoted to Captain," Abarai said flashing his smile.

"I doubt that," Kira said, although he was flattered. "I don't even have bankai. You on the other hand..."

"My bankai is too incomplete, its form isn't even close to what it should be. I only got it recently. It takes at least 10 years to develop a full powered bankai. And even if bankai wasn't problem, I doubt my Taichou would let me be promoted," Abarai replied.

"Don't say that. I think Kuchiki-Taichou is a great opportunity for you to become stronger."

"I know that, but I wasn't referring about my lack of skills or anything, just sayin' it seems sometimes that he only chose me to be his Fukutaichou to torment me and make fun of me."

"Make fun? Abarai-kun, I apologize for what I'm going to say, but Kuchiki-Taichou doesn't really seem the type to know what fun is, especially making fun of someone," Kira pointed out.

"That's true, but he seems to overjoy when I fail in things like etiquette and shit like that. Well not literally, but I can sense he's glad when I fail. He asked me to attend his calligraphy club to improve my writing, every single day in the past week. I told him that my writing will never become pretty and girly, then he was mad and asked me if I called him girly," Abarai pouted. Kira lightly chuckled.

"You should think before you talk. I think it's nice your Taichou trying to bond with you," Kira looked at the floor as they walked. Abarai eying him on the corner of his eye. The blond regretted saying that in that way. His bad choice of words, revealed what he was thinking. Abarai could be clueless, but even the redhead could tell he was thinking about Ichimaru.

"Bond?" Renji said trying to break the gloomy ambient that was forming as they stopped before the door to the meeting room, "What bond? I'm more his lackey, he makes me do everything, he must think I'm one of his servants in his big-ass mansion."

"Abarai-Fukutaichou," A deep slow voice came from behind. Abarai froze, his eyes wide open. Slowly he turned around. Kira also turned around.

"T-taichou," he stuttered. Kira looked at the man before him. Kuchiki Byakuya was like he always was. Expressionless, with a royal sense around him, like a real noble. Kira was also from a noble family, but nothing like the Kuchikis. Kira was from a lesser noble family, he had faced some privileges very few had the opportunity, but compared to Kuchiki-Taichou, Kira felt like he was nothing.

He couldn't tell if Kuchiki heard or not what Abarai said, because the noble wasn't expressive at all. Kuchiki-Taichou's eyes were on Renji for a few seconds. Kira was pondering if he should leave, but then the noble's eyes moved to him. Immediately Kira greeted him bowing.

"Kuchiki-Taichou."

Byakuya didn't say anything. His eyes went back to Abarai

"Abarai, are you planning to go to the meeting like that?" he asked. The redhead was clearly confused. He looked at himself, watching if something was wrong with his clothes.

"I don't... I don't understand Taichou," he honestly replied.

"What seat are you?" Byakuya asked.

"What?" Now even Kira was confused. What kind of question was that?

"I asked what seat are you?" he repeated.

"Hmm... Second in command?" Renji answered, trying to say what he expected Byakuya to want as a reply.

"And what does that mean?"

"That I'm a Fukutaichou," Renji simply said.

"And where are you going now?"

"To a Fukutaichou meeting."

Kira was confused, this was really awkward. Kuchiki making Renji feeling so submissive, treating him like a child for no reason, or at least seemed like that.

"And how do you plan to do that?"

"What?" Renji frowned. Kuchiki stayed silent for a while. Then after what he seemed like forever but was really a minute, Kuchiki took something from inside his Kosode sleeve.

"Oh!" Renji said as he watched what it was. It was his Fukutaichou badge. Kira was surprised, why wouldn't Kuchiki said it from the beginning? Maybe he wanted to teach Abarai a lesson or something. Abarai took the badge.

"I forgot it, I'm sorry Taichou, and... thanks," he said bowing and then wrapped it in his left arm.

"Make sure this won't happen again. Follow me, you too, 3rd Squad Fukutaichou," the man said turning around.

"But the meeting?" The noble ignored that and kept walking. They followed him.

"This is weird," Abarai whispered.

"What?" Kira replied as they followed the noble.

"My badge. I left it at home. How did he get it?" Abarai seemed somehow pissed. Kira was sure his friend was mad because he didn't like the idea of someone at his quarters going through his stuff, especially if that someone was his rich Taichou. Although Kira doubted Kuchiki Byakuya himself went search the badge, he probably sent a subordinate.

Byakuya led them to the Taichou's meeting room. Before entering Renji asked.

"Taichou, why are we here?"

"There's an emergency Captain's meeting, all Division leaders were summoned including the higher officers of the Captain-less Squads," Kuchiki explained. Kira understood why he was there. He was summoned to a Taichou meeting representing the Third Division. That somehow, made him feel appreciated. It warm up his heart, it was a good feeling, especially after these past two days. But if there was an emergency meeting that meant that something bad happen. Kira remembered his bad feeling when he woke up, this wasn't going to be his day.

"What about me? Why do I have to go?" Abarai asked.

"Soutaichou also requested your presence."

"But why?"

Kuchiki-Taichou stood silent for a few seconds and then replied before opening the door.

"Because Kurosaki Ichigo is here."


	5. Honor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and comments! I'm so happy there's still Bleach fans, and ShuuKira fans!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter.This was beta-ed by MazeWithoutEnd from AarinFantasy forum! Thank you so much!
> 
> Special Note: This story happens after Aizen being defeated. Forget the fullbring arc.

Chapter 4 –  _ **Honor**_

**Uryuu**

It was just a kiss, a light kiss. Probably an accidental kiss... no, it  _was_  accidental. It had to be!

Ishida Uryuu was pretty sure that what happened the night before was a mistake. Kurosaki was just tired. He had killed a few hollows that were strangely concentrated in spawning at the same place, like someone had put a trigger nearby the school. Yes, he was tired. That's why he fell over Uryuu and pressed his lips on his. Even if it last for almost a minute, it had to be a joke, or maybe he confused Uryuu with a chick, in a heroic kind of way. Though, it really didn't please the Quincy to be confused with a girl. He was too tall to be confused with Rukia and too thin and flat chested to be mistaken as Inoue, so maybe... Arisawa? No, Kurosaki wouldn't see Arisawa that way, she was his childhood friend; everything they felt for each other was strictly platonic. That and the fact Uryuu suspected her to be more into voluptuous and curvy bodies with... let's say feminine parts. So, no. That wasn't it; he hadn't been mistaken for a girl. Then was it really a joke? Did Kurosaki kissed him to make fun of him? That thought sounded even worse.

Ishida didn't like to be played. He didn't like to be mocked or underestimated, especially by a Shinigami. Well, Ichigo wasn't really Shinigami, but Uryuu still didn't like what was going on. Kurosaki stole his first kiss, accident or not, he couldn't forgive that.

Kurosaki hadn't said anything during the whole morning at school. And that made Uryuu feel more miserable. His first kiss was stolen, ignored and probably forgotten - what a pain.

It was lunch hour, and Ishida was at his desk trying not to sulk. He could feel the substitute Shinigami's reiatsu a little away. He was at school, but far from the classroom. Probably at the rooftop, where he liked to lunch. That reminded Ishida when he was invited to lunch with him there. No matter how awkward it was, it felt good. He was always so alone, that he had forgotten how it was like to have company. But now he was alone again... Great, now he was buried deep in depression.

"Ishida-kun!" A high pitched voice called for him. He looked up.

"Inoue and Sado." He simply said watching his two friends.

"You look down, Ishida-kun!" Orihime said.

"What do you want?" he replied ignoring her statement. It wasn't his intention to sound so harsh, but his bad mood seemed to make his mouth sound awfully stupid and mean.

"Oh, Kurosaki-kun asked for you."

' _Asked for me? Asked? What does he think I am? A dog?'_

"So?"

"He said he was waiting for you at the rooftop." Sado replied this time.

Uryuu watched his big friend carefully. Sado had an I-know-everything look in his eyes. The Quincy got mad. How the heck could he know anything?

"Orihime, look Tatsuki is over there, didn't you wanted to talk to her?" Sado pointed at the brunette across the room.

"Oh yes! I forgot! Thank you Sado-kun!" She smiled and left them joining the other girl.

Chad sat in the chair in front of Ishida, facing him.

"I think you should go." His deep voice said.

"I'm not interested."

"I don't know what happened between you two, but Ichigo had a sad look in his face. Whatever it is, I think he's really feeling down."

"I don't care."

"Are you sure? People will start asking what's going on. Even Orihime noticed something was wrong with you two."

"We were never friends; I don't get what's different. We always fight."

"One thing is anger, other is sadness. They are two things very easy to tell apart." Chad said. Uryuu stared at him. The tall boy looked different; he had a glint in his eyes.

"I see... Someone seems to want to spread his happiness to everyone around him."

"W-what?" The big boy stuttered.

"You can't fool me, I may not look like it, but I'm quite perceptive in what comes to emotions." Ishida said, then his eyes moved to the redhead girl across the room. "Did you tell her?"

Sado also looked at Orihime.

"Not really, but I already gave her a few hints."

"It's Inoue we are talking about, you'll probably have to tell her straight to her face."

"I don't think so, she kinda seems to understand what I'm doing and she seems to... reciprocate."

"Reciprocate?" Uryuu raised an eyebrow, "Did something happen?"

"Not really, but we became quite close lately. She even confides me with some of things I'm sure she wouldn't tell anyone."

Uryuu glared the other boy. Sado must really like Orihime for talking so much about it. Ishida knew the big guy always spoke more to him than to other people but still, when the subject was Orihime, he would speak more and more.

"That's good."

"Yeah." They both stayed silent for a while. "Just go. Even if you don't want to make peace, at least give a try. You have nothing to lose."

Uryuu took Chad's advice. He slowly went to the rooftop. It was very tricky of Kurosaki wanting to meet there, where that stupid kiss happened. The raven haired boy didn't know why, but he was really anxious. His heart beat so fast he could barely breathe. He slowly walked to his destination; before arriving he cleaned his sweaty hands in his pants.

Only a door separated the two boys. If Uryuu wanted to go back now it was the time. Ichigo didn't know he was there in that moment, since he always had issues with sensing other people's reiatsu, so it was easy for Ishida to avoid him.

However, Uryuu didn't turn back - with his typical indifferent attitude he opened the door. The sky was bright blue, and the sun bathed everything in sight with a strange wave of heat. Lately the weather had been like this, really hot, like it was plain summer, when it was only spring.

Uryuu found Ichigo sitting against the wall where the only shadow could be found. When he saw the brunet he got up.

"Ishida, you really came!" Ichigo said.

"What do you want?" Uryuu replied, his voice was cold and seemed more hostile than how he actually wanted to sound; today his brain wasn't properly functioning.

"I... just want to talk."

Uryuu knew he shouldn't ask since he knew what would come, but his mouth moved by its own.

"About what?"

"About yesterday." Ichigo looked at him.

"There's nothing to talk about. I don't know why so many hollows appeared, if you want answers you should talk to Uraha-"

"I meant about the kiss, not the... hollows."

Ishida glared him. Was Ichigo serious? Did he really intend to humiliate him talking about what happened? Of course part of Uryuu was already expecting the taller boy to speak about the kiss, but another part of him was hoping he would just forget it. Even if forgetting would make him feel stupid and unwanted.

"Like I said, there is nothing to talk about." Uryuu turned around to leave.

"Wait!" Ichigo walked to him and grabbed his arm, the sudden move made him flinch a bit but Kurosaki didn't notice, "I- I want to apologize."

Ishida looked at him.

"For what? It was an accident, it's no one's fault."

"That's why I want to apologize... because it wasn't an accident. I kissed you on purpose."

What? He kissed him on purpose? Ishida narrowed his eyes. What the hell was he planning?

"Quit playing with me, Kurosaki." Ishida shook his arm from Ichigo's grip and turned again to leave, his hand grabbed the door's knob to exit the rooftop. The other boy spoke behind him.

"I'm not playing! Ishida, I... I love you."

Everything around him seemed to stop. Uryuu felt his own body freeze, unable to leave through that door. He slowly and with the will that still rested within him he turned around to face the other boy.

Ichigo was looking at him, without the usual frown in his forehead.

"I'm in love with you." He said with serenity. Ishida's eyes widen, he wasn't sure what to think. This must be a joke right? Kurosaki was pranking him, yeah that must be it.

"Very funny."

"I mean it!" Ichigo said, "I wouldn't lie about this, and you know that."

True. Kurosaki wasn't the kind of guy that played this type of joke; in fact he wouldn't play any kind of joke. It was something Ishida had to admit, that the strawberry blond boy was a serious guy, and quite mature for his age.

"I know it's weird. I mean I'm a guy and you are also a guy, but I... just can't stop thinking about you."

"That doesn't mean its love." Ishida finally had the courage to speak. The other boy softly chuckle.

"Sure, but I kinda find you very attractive, and... I... feel like I wanna kiss you sometimes."

"Oh."

"Yeah..." Ichigo said. Ishida couldn't help but blush a bit when Ichigo said he found him attractive. No one ever said that to him before. "Ishida, yesterday I... tried to resist but it was just too strong. You were there panting and sweating and then you looked at me and I had to kiss you." Ichigo explained himself.

"I..." Uryuu started, he wasn't sure what to say.

"I shouldn't do it, I know, I was honestly expecting you to punch me or something, but you didn't, you actually let me kiss you." Ichigo said with a half-smile.

"No, I didn't." Uryuu defended himself.

"You didn't oppose either."

"I'm not gay!" Ishida blurted out.

"I'm not gay either."

"I don't kiss guys."

"Do you kiss girls?"

"No. I don't kiss anyone." Ishida replied embarrassed, "What the hell, Kurosaki? You have nothing to do with who I kiss or not."

"Don't be like that."

"How can I not? A guy just confessed to me! Not only that, but a Shinigami did!" Uryuu said loudly. Kurosaki was quite surprised to see the usual controlled Ishida raising his voice.

"I'm not really a Shinigami, I mean, I'm human, you know?"

"With a hollow inside! And you know what the purpose of a Quincy is, right?"

"I'm not a hollow. I-I don't know what I am, but I know that I'm a guy that goes to school, that has sisters and family and friends. And I know that I like you." Ichigo said; he was hurt, Ishida could see that. Guilt spread inside Uryuu. "I don't want you see me as more than that, I don't want you to think I'm some kind of monster."

"You are not a monster. It's just... you are a substitute Shinigami, and it's not that I don't like - it's the fact that you're always by  _their_  side."

"I am when they need me. Like I am when you need me. I will always be by your side."

Ishida knew Ichigo meant these words, but talking was always easier than doing.

"What if you had to choose between me and helping Shinigamis?"

Ichigo answered without hesitation.

"I would choose you."

They stayed silent, watching each other. Ishida couldn't believe in what was happening. Kurosaki liked him, no, loved him. He couldn't believe that someone as popular as him would like him. He had heard his classmates comment how cute Ichigo was, how mysterious he looked, how he was the kind of guy that girls would be proud to present to their parents. Not only classmates, but also other students at school, or even Rukia or Matsumoto that complimented Ichigo like he was some kind of teen idol. Kurosaki could basically have anyone he wanted, so why him? Uryuu was about to ask that, when the blond spoke.

"Jeez, you are more concerned about me being a shinigami than the fact we are both guys. That makes me feel hopeful."

"That is an issue too. I don't like guys. I have nothing against gays or anything, but it's not my interest." It was enough, guys calling him a fag because he liked to sew - the last thing he needed was to actually make those rumours come true.

"Can you at least think about it? No one has to know, it's just between the two of us, so please just think about it."

"There is nothing to think about."

"If there isn't than why did you came? You knew I was going to talk about the kiss, yet you came anyway. You are not the type that goes anywhere just because someone asked; you go because you want to. You wanted to know why I kissed you. If you weren't interested you would ignore me completely."

Ishida looked down. What Kurosaki said was true, he couldn't stop thinking about it. He didn't even sleep thinking about that kiss. But did that make him interested in Kurosaki?

The bell rang, signing the end of lunch break.

"Will you think about it?" Kurosaki asked. Ishida didn't say anything. Without warning, Ichigo pushed Uryuu against the door, and kissed him. It was a simple kiss, but warm and sweet at the same time. The brunet was too shocked to do anything. He could smell Kurosaki's scent so well; his cheeks were hot, he knew he was blushing. Before he could respond in any way, the taller boy stopped the kiss.

"Take your time. I'll wait for you." He whispered, and then left. Uryuu just stayed there alone in the rooftop, his lips still tingling from that kiss. His mind was confused, not because a guy just kissed him or because that guy was a Shinigami. He was confused because for the first time, Uryuu doubted himself and his own feelings.

**0000000000**

The next few days were confusing Uryuu even more. Kurosaki would everyday come to him, arranging the weirdest excuses to hang out with him. He even brought Kon ripped, several times, for Ishida to fix him, claiming that the Mod Soul's body was damaged because of the washing machine or because his little sister had a nightmare and ripped the lion's paw during her sleep. Of course Uryuu didn't tell him he knew that kind of damage was done by ripping on purpose... Uryuu was somehow glad that Ichigo was persistent in doing these little things for him.

The biggest fear he had was that all of this was a bad taste joke, and Kurosaki was making him doubt about his sexual orientation just to tease him.

The days were getting hotter and hotter, the TV news were filled with deaths by heat stroke. This weather was really unusual - the weather forecasters were saying that it was the hottest year in Japan in the last two decades.

That led of course to everybody desire to go to the beaches. Uryuu was not a fan of going there, for the sake of getting tanned or swimming in the ocean, especially when he knew he had a test in the week after, but somehow Ichigo became very good in persuading him. It was becoming very hard to say "no" to him.

The truth was that Uryuu was doing whatever the other boy asked. Uryuu was thinking thoroughly about what he should do. He had become quite attached to Kurosaki's presence. He enjoyed his attitude towards him, and his voice when he spoke, or his uncontrolled reiatsu, and his smell as well. He even liked his big hands, even if he never would admit it out loud.

He had found himself staring back at the other boy's gaze in classes, not shake off the blond's light touches, on the contrary he found himself eager for that kind of contact.

It was the first time he felt wanted. Never had anyone treated him as a priority or even made him feel special. Once, the school counselor said the reason he was so organized and meticulous was because it was the only way he knew how to make himself feel important - because of the lack of human contact he had, being the anti-social guy he was.

Kurosaki made him feel good. The last time he had been so happy was when his grandfather was still alive. Kurosaki filled the gap the old man left, he filled the emptiness inside Uryuu's heart. And no matter how much Uryuu tried to deny it, he was unconsciously being drawn towards Ichigo.

Kurosaki insisted on walking home together every day. Even if at certain point their houses became complete opposites, he still walked Uryuu to his house.

One of those afternoons, Ichigo walked him home like they got used to. The taller boy hadn't brought up the topic of the kiss or their relationship yet, but that day, he did.

"Ishida?" he asked leaning against the brunet's building.

"Yes?"

"Have you thought about... us?"

Ishida, who was searching for his keys in his bag stopped and looked at the other boy.

"Hmm..."

"We've been having fun, right?"

"Yes."

"And we actually, we've been doing well..."

Ishida leaned against the building next to him.

"Indeed, I never expected that we could spend so much time together and be at peace." Uryuu finally said.

"Yeah, I think we match nicely."

A light shade of pink spread in Uryuu's cheeks. He couldn't deny it, Kurosaki was right, they were a good match. Uryuu never had so much fun in his life, he didn't even remember the last time he felt so relaxed. He enjoyed this feeling, he enjoyed being with Kurosaki.

"Ishida," he moved, staying in front of Uryuu. "I really like you, and being with you lately made me realize I like you more than I thought I did."

The Quincy shivered at those words. Chocolate brown eyes stared at his blue ones; they held something so intense inside, it burned deep within his heart.

"Do you like me?" Ichigo asked.

"I- I don't know." He replied. Did he have feelings for him?

"Do you like being with me?"

"Yes."

"Do you like when I do this?" the taller boy leaned towards him, and lightly kissed him. Yes, he liked that. He liked to be kissed, he liked when Kurosaki kissed him. Uryuu didn't know, what came to him in that moment, but when the other boy was about to pull back, he returned the kiss. Ichigo was caught off guard, but he embraced the kiss as soon as he understood what was going on.

Their lips moved in a sloppy way. It was a unexperienced sweet kiss, but the feelings they were putting into that simple action compensated for its sloppiness. Uryuu was pinned between the wall and the tall boy, but he didn't feel vulnerable; in fact he felt pretty good since part of him was in control of that kiss. Eventually they pull apart.

"That was nice." The taller said.

"It was."

"You know what? Let's go on a date, this weekend." Ichigo proposed.

"Date?"

"Yes. We've been together a lot lately, and we get along well as friends, so why not a date? That way we can see if we get along as lovers."  _Lovers -_ that word made Uryuu gulp. "And it may answer any doubt you may have about us." Ichigo said smiling.

"Ok."

**0000000000**

The next day, Keigo had the stupid idea of taking the shinigami that were currently in the human world to a nightclub. He somehow knew the owner of the place, and was able to take everybody there free of charge, and without them having to show any ID.

Uryuu wasn't the type to go that kind of place. He would rather stay at home, comfortably reading a book, or making a new piece of clothing, where he could easily go out if any hollow appeared.

But once again, Kurosaki was very persuasive. It seemed like Uryuu couldn't resist the phrase  _"Come on, it won't be fun without you!"_  coming from that pretty mouth. That, and the fact that he knew that if he stayed at home, he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about his date with Ichigo in the next day.

He had concluded that, in their date he was going to say yes to Ichigo, he was going to tell him that he wouldn't mind dating him, he would mind them being lovers. It was undeniable that he had feelings for Kurosaki, and it would be stupid of him not to take a chance. Kurosaki was probably the only person he truly trusted in the world - he was a loyal guy, with morals and with an instinct to help everyone around him. How could Uryuu not like him?

And so they went. It didn't please the Quincy to hang out with Shinigamis, but at least Chad and Inoue were there; well, it was as if they weren't, since they were in their little world.

Occasionally, he and Ichigo exchanged glances. Was it too obvious if he would talk to him now? They had been together every day - wouldn't Kurosaki get tired of him, being always with him?

Kurosaki didn't seem to be trying with him either - he seemed very amused talking with Renji.

That damned Abarai, who had been with him in his room, when Uryuu arrived with Rukia. The brunet didn't want to show this miserable feeling of jealousy, but he didn't like the fact the other man was in Kurosaki's room one bit. And since that moment they were together. Hadn't Ichigo said it wouldn't be fun without him? Because the strawberry blond seemed to have a lot of fun drinking with Renji, while Uryuu was sitting alone across the bar drinking his ice tea with a pathetic look on his face.

Why were they talking so close? Ishida's insides burnt with anger, as he watched Abarai moving closer and closer to the other boy. Should he go there and claim Ichigo as his? No! Why would he? After all, Ichigo was the one after him in the first place. But why was he allowing the redhead to be so... touchy?

Chad joined him at the bar, his big back facing the bar as he looked to the dance floor. Uryuu followed his eyes, and he saw Inoue and Rukia happily dancing together. Uryuu looked back at Sado again, the big boy had a smile on his face.

"I guess everything went well, uh?" he asked Chad.

"Yes, it did." Chad truly smiled. Uryuu never thought he would witness that, but he was happy for his friend. His eyes returned to Ichigo only to notice he wasn't there. And neither was Abarai. He panicked, where the hell were they? More importantly, why was he panicking? He trusted Ichigo, so there wasn't anything to panic about.

Even so, Uryuu felt restless, like something was wrong. He could feel Ichigo's enormous reiatsu as usual, even if in that environment was more difficult to sense anything at all.

Chad had been  _kidnapped_ by Keigo, and soon Yumichika and Ikkaku were joining Uryuu at the bar. Scratch that, they were not joining, they were simply claiming the empty spot nearby the Quincy. Not wanting to put up with that annoying Ayasegawa, Ishida left.

He walked around the club, trying to see if he could find the orange haired boy. Always in vain. He was feeling a bit sick. It was hot, too hot and too crowded around him. Uryuu really hated this type of place.

"I should have stayed at home."

The environment around him was too constricted, and something in his gut said something was wrong. In that very moment, something caught his eye. A hollow. His big monstrous head upside down, like a spider, in the ceiling. Uryuu looked frantically around - where were those damn Shinigamis? If he went to kill the hollow himself people would see him, what the hell were they doing? Hadn't anyone noticed the hollow? Ishida ran to the top floor, bumping to people. He had to go to a place where he could shoot the hollow without making a fool of himself in front of people.

He went to a corner, and climbed, without drawing any attention, the steel supporters that held the lights in the ceiling. Thankfully, the lights were flashing so much no one would see him.

Uryuu pointed at the hollow in front of him, and shot an arrow that hit it perfectly. The hollow disappeared. The boy exhaled deeply and got down of there. He decided that he had to go find Ichigo and convince him to get out of this place. It wouldn't be wise to be in such a crowded place if another hollow could come, probably attracted by Ichigo and the others' energy. He was going to the bar when he saw Yumichika exiting the bathroom.

"Hey, you! Have you seen Kurosaki?" Ishida almost demanded. Yumichika raised an eyebrow, clearly not liking being called  _"You"._  But soon he smiled.

"Sure I have! He's with Abarai. Come with me!" he walked towards the bathroom.

' _They're still together?'_

Uryuu followed him to the bathroom. The shinigami opened the door, showing an empty bathroom. Uryuu frowned.

"Ayasegawa-san, are you sure they are here?" He asked him. Yumichika smirked weirdly and pointed to one of the stalls. Uryuu was too afraid, he was afraid of understanding what that malicious smirk meant.

"I'm sure they're having fun." He whispered into the boy's ear and left. Uryuu's eyes widen. No, no way. Kurosaki wouldn't... He's not that type!

"Kurosaki are you here?" he yelled, "Kurosaki!"

Uryuu heard Ichigo's voice mumbling something, and then the sound of someone throwing up, right after the door of the stall, Yumichika previously pointed, opened. Ishida simply stood there watching. Kurosaki was throwing up badly, and Abarai got out of the small space.

"I'm gonna throw up too if I stay there." The redhead said, then he left the bathroom. Ishida didn't say anything, his face didn't show any emotion. He simply watched the orange haired boy leaning against the wall. He was very pale and sweating, but what caught the Quincy's eyes was the fact Ichigo had his shirt open, and his neck and chest had red marks – hickeys.

' _Leave. Just leave, don't look at his face.'_

Ichigo threw up again into the toilet, his legs were shaking. He was weak and if he fell he would land in the puddle of vomit on the floor.

' _Just fucking leave him, Uryuu!'_

His mind screamed at him, but his body moved forward against his will. He helped Kurosaki, not letting him fall. He even helped him exit that chaotic nightclub. He took a cab with him, and took him to his house. Uryuu knew it was late but he knocked several times the door, until Kurosaki's father opened it.

"Is he wasted?" Isshin asked curious, Uryuu could swear the man was pleased with the state of his son.

"Yes. He threw up, and fell asleep in the cab." The boy answered, he turned around to leave.

"It's late, do you want to stay the night?"

"It's not necessary."

"Do you want money for a cab?"

"No, I'll walk home. Thank you." He simply said and left. He walked home slowly. The image of those kiss marks in Kurosaki's body wouldn't leave his mind. He was so disappointed with himself. He shouldn't believe in him. No one is to be trusted, not even Kurosaki.

"I just made a fool of myself." He said to no one, as he walked in the dark night to his house.

**0000000000**

The next day Kurosaki called him several times, but he didn't pick up. He let his answer machine take the calls.

"Hey Ishida, it's me again, I'm worried you don't say anything. I just wanted to know what we should do about our date. By the way, you should really get a cell phone..."

Ishida just sat in his bed looking at the phone, listening to that lying voice.

"... Please let me know as soon as you get home! I love you!"

Ishida ran and pick up the phone, "Screw you!" he yelled to the sound of beeping. Kurosaki had hung up.

Uryuu didn't want to face him ever again. He wanted to disappear from this world, and pretend nothing ever existed.

Nothing mattered to him, no one cared about him. And he was used to that idea, he was used to not existing in people's lives, but Kurosaki had to come and spoil everything. He had to come and give him a little taste of being wanted. Now it hurt, it hurt to be so alone and feel so betrayed. And Kurosaki still had the audacity of talking to him like nothing bad happened.

Ichigo came later to his house, but he pretended he wasn't there. The same happened the next day. Kurosaki came in the morning, at afternoon and at the beginning of the night, but in vain because Uryuu didn't answer the door. Later he received another call.

"Ishida, it's me again..." Ichigo's voice seemed a bit more anxious, "... I think I'm overthinking things, but I have this feeling... Are you mad at me or something? Because I left you a lot of messages, and your answer machine didn't get full, so my guess is that you are deleting them... So... I'm not really sure what to say... I mean are you angry about Friday? Was it too fast? I'm really sorry for getting that drunk. Please call me back."

This had to be a joke. But it wasn't getting any funnier. Ichigo was messing with his pride, the only thing he had left. But Ishida wouldn't let him taking anything else; he wasn't as stupid as that damn shinigami might think he was. He wouldn't fall twice in the same mistake.

Uryuu didn't go to school that week, and he avoided any calls or answering the door every time it was knocked. But the next Monday he had to go to school, or he would get in trouble and it would affect his grades.

That morning he arrived as late as possible to avoid him. When he arrived at the classroom, he didn't look at the other boy. During all classes, Ichigo would send him notes – which Uryuu wasn't able to ignore – asking him how he was doing, if everything was ok, if they could lunch together. Ishida didn't answer once.

Unfortunately, lunch time came soon. And as expected, Ichigo came to talk to him, but was stopped by Keigo that hugged the taller boy from behind, it seemed the annoying boy was also absent from school the previous week.

"Soooo Ichigo... I heard you had a lot of fun with  _tattooed-san_  when we went to the club." Keigo said.

"What are you talking about?" Ichigo pushed the boy away. Ishida tried to ignore them, as he save his things inside his bag.

"Oh, Yumichika-san told me about your bathroom adventure with him."

"Bathroom adventure? What are you talking ab-" Ishida's got up from his chair abruptly, and by the sudden change of reiatsu flow, Ishida was pretty sure Ichigo realized he was there hearing that conversation. He left the room.

"Wait, Ishida!" Ichigo ran after him. Ishida increased his speed as he walked through the school hall. He reached the shoe locker and as fast as he could he changed his shoes. Not fast enough, though.

"Ishida, please wait." Ichigo cornered him, "I-"

"Don't. Just don't. I'm sure you had a lot of fun messing with me, but the least you could do now is pretend I don't exist." Ishida said without looking at the other boy. He wasn't able to.

"I'm sorry, please don't say that. I didn't know it was Renji, I thought it was you." Ichigo said anxious. Uryuu looked at him not believing what he was hearing.

"You thought it was me?"

"I-"

"Are you fucking stupid?" Ichigo flinched when Ishida cursed, it was the first time he heard him talk like that.

"I'm so sorry." Ichigo was really affected, but it was probably all an act, "I'm not messing with you. I really love you-"

"I SAID, DON'T!" Ishida yelled. He stopped when he sensed something on his cheek, he touched with his hand, and it was wet. He was... crying? The boy's eyes were wide open, he was crying in front of Kurosaki, like a baby. The rest of the little honor he had was now gone.

"Ishida." The substitute shinigami said as he extended his hand to touch the smaller boy.

"Don't touch me!" Ishida said looking straight at his eyes "You are disgusting." With that he turn away and left the school, leaving Kurosaki shocked, behind.

He cleaned his face with the back of his hand and walked fast, passing by the school's gate when he felt a familiar presence nearby. He looked at the place he felt the energy coming from.

Oh Kami-sama, his luck abandoned him today.

The smoke coming from the cigarette flowed gracefully as the man holding it inhaled it.

"What are you doing here?" Ishida asked the man before him, the man that was supposed to be his father.

"I was about to go talk to you, but it seems you are in hurry to go somewhere."

"I'm feeling sick, I'm going home." Uryuu lied.

"Weren't you home all week? Your school called me saying you were missing."

Uryuu sighed.

"Look I don't want to be here now."

"Then let's go for a walk."

Both father and son walked side by side in silent, until Uryuu broke it.

"I'm not gonna miss school anymore, don't worry."

"You are missing now."

"It's different."

"Is it?" Ryuken asked. Uryuu stopped walking. That question had a hidden meaning, he was sure.

"What...?"

"We had an agreement and you clearly failed. You aren't supposed to hang out with Shinigami, much less kissing them."

The boy froze. How could he know that? How could his father know that? Of all people in the world, why did  _he_  know that?

"I don't know what you are talking about."

Ryuken ignored his statement.

"You know, I'm actually not surprise my son ending up being gay."

Uryuu frowned.

"Why are you saying that? Is because I keep refusing to go live with you? Is this your revenge? To torment me?"

"No," his father said, "but believe, if you lived with me you wouldn't be crying for a Shinigami."

Uryuu's mind snapped at that moment.

"I'm not crying!"

"Really, it didn't look like it when you were leaving your school. What a disappointment a Quincy crying for a Shinigami."

Uryuu couldn't say anything. He had no idea what was wrong with him. He wanted to cry again, but he did everything he could to hold it inside. He cried in front of Kurosaki, he wouldn't show such an act of weakness in front of his father too. But it hurt so badly, he just wanted to go home and fall asleep, and never wake up again. Instead of hearing from his father what he already knew.

"I know I'm a disappointment, I know I'm a failure, you don't need to tell me that." The younger said looking down, tears welled up in his eyes, he couldn't control it. This was too much for him, "But you know, you are a disappointment as well."

He knew his father was looking at him with that stupid arrogant face, he wasn't even affected by what his son said. That angered Uryuu even more.

"You don't even care do you? You don't care what I think about you, you don't care what happens to me. You only came because school called, or you wouldn't say anything to me for weeks like every time." The tears just fell down his cheeks, "You only care about what others think about me, you just care about your reputation being perfect, but guess what? I AM NOT PERF-" Uryuu looked up to his father and froze. Something was behind the older man. A  _shade_  of something big was there, but it was mostly invisible. But Uryuu could sense it. It emanated a monstrous energy very similar to a hollow. No, it was more alike to that Espada he faced, Szayel.

He felt the  _shade_ 's reiatsu move, but it seemed Ryuken hadn't noticed the hollow yet.

"Behind you!" Uryuu said. Ryuken raised an eyebrow. He looked behind but didn't see anything.

"What are you talking about?" he asked his son, as he watched Uryuu pointing his arm to him, and his Quincy bow appearing.

"Move." The man did so. Uryuu shoot several times, but failed. The presence had moved to the sky. He followed it with his arrows. His father watched him like he was crazy.

"Uryuu what are you doing? There is nothing there."

"You can't sense his reiatsu? I think it's an Arrancar." He kept shooting in vain.

Ryuken sighed. "You are tired, just go home, you are seeing things."

"I'm not. He's right over there!" Uryuu shouted as he shot at the air, then he stopped. He looked around. He could feel the presence but it was everywhere around him, he wasn't sure where to attack. Why couldn't his father see it? In fact, why couldn't he sense it?

He started to hear whispers everywhere, they were incomprehensible. His heart beat furiously; what was going on?

"Uryuu that's enough, we're going home." Ryuken said when he saw Uryuu shooting everywhere. He move towards his son, until he saw one of the arrows disappear in thin air, it had hit something.

Uryuu could sense the sudden reiatsu change the moment he hit the hollow. The whispers stopped for a moment, everything stopped. The hollows energy seemed gone, like nothing ever happened. He looked at his father across him.

"Did you kill him?" Ryuken asked serious.

"I-" Uryuu stopped, feeling the strange presence right behind him.

" _Not even the honored are innocent."_  An unknown deep voice spoke at his ear, his eyes widen when he felt something cold in his back. He felt on his knees.

"URYUU!" he heard his father yell and grabbing him. He could smell the scent of cigarettes mixed with a high end perfume. Strangely, it was a very pleasant smell. His vision started to become dark, he wasn't sure what happened, maybe he was hit, but he felt no pain.

The last thing he saw before his eyes shut was a black cat running in front of him.

**0000000000**

**Kira**

Kurosaki Ichigo and Shihoin Yoruichi were in the meeting with all Taichos. It seemed something had happened in the human world, and after both explained what happened, Kira could understand why they were asking for help. The blond was concerned about the whole idea of an invisible hollow that couldn't be easily sensed, but he couldn't help but feel happy for the fact he was attending a Captain's meeting, representing the Third division, among the strongest shinigamis in Soul Society.

Kira looked at the corner of his eye. Shuuhei was also there, they both had shared some glances since the meeting started. When Kira arrived there, Hisagi smiled at him greeting him, and no matter how much Kira tried to avoid the other man, he didn't resist and smiled back. Kira was sure that smile one day would be the death of him.

"So Urahara-san requested if you could send a few shinigamis to the real world to see if they are able to sense in any way that Arrancar." Ichigo explained to Sou-taichou.

"Are you sure it's an Arrancar? Couldn't it be a simple hollow able to camouflage itself?" Ukitake-taicho asked.

"The amount of power I sensed couldn't be from a simple hollow. It was very similar to an Arrancar, if not an Espada!" Yoruichi responded.

"I see and only Yoruichi and the Quincy were able to see him?" Sou-taichou asked.

"We could only sense him, but yes, only us." The woman explained.

"Is there a common factor between you two? I'm sure Urahara must have done some tests." Kurotsuchi asked, extremely curious.

"No. If we have something in common to be able to sense the hollow, then we don't know what it is. Kisuke said that our reiryoku may be somehow immune to our enemies camouflage. He also said that probably only high reiryokus may be able to sense it."

"It makes sense, reiryoku is like DNA, it's different to everybody and it can contain various strains which affect shinigamis' abilities differently, yet I do not understand about the Quincy..." Kurotsuchi replied thinking.

"So how do I know who to send to the human world?" the old man asked.

"We don't. That's why we need as much strong people as you can arrange." Ichigo responded. Sou-taicho sighed.

"Then I shall send small groups of shinigamis with strong reiatsu at time. If anyone doesn't feel anything after 3 days, that person shall return and others will go in their place. We can't afford to empty the Seireitei because of a single Arrancar."

"That's fine. Thank you old man!" Ichigo said.

"Kurotsuchi-taicho, I believe you will like to analyse it from both dimensions."

"Yes, I shall go in the first group. It's clear that the equipment we put in the human world to sense Arrancars is inadequate."

"Very well, then who shall be the first group? I would prefer to send one Captain at the time if possible. Any volunteers?"

"Only strong reiatsu can sense it, huh? Than I'm gonna go first and kick that little piece of shit's ass." Kenpachi spoke. Ichigo chuckled at that. How audacious of him speaking like that in a meeting with Sou-taicho. Yet, it was Kenpachi Zaraki, so everybody was used to that kind of attitude.

"Zaraki, that doesn't mean anything. Sure, a strong reiatsu may sense it, but it doesn't mean it will. It's all presumptions." Yoruichi said.

"Shouldn't another Captain go at the same time? It wouldn't be wise to let the 11th division Taicho alone in the human world." Kuchiki said.

"Agree. Any other volunteer to go to the first group?" the old man asked.

"I guess I can go, and I'll take Matsumoto with me." Hitsugaya spoke. Kira looked at Hisagi across the room, should he also volunteer? Hisagi looked at him at the same time, making his heart madly beat. His mouth moved forming the words 'You go' or 'We go'? As if Sou-taicho was reading their minds, he spoke.

"So the first group shall be the 10th, 11th, and 12th Division. Last ones shall be the 3rd, 5th and 9th due to the fact they lack Captain." Kira didn't know if he should feel disappointment or relief.

"Hmm, sir? I would like to volunteer to go in the first group too. If I may." Renji said raising an arm.

"If it is fine with Kuchiki-taicho." Sou-taicho spoke. Kuchiki stood silent for a while, but he agreed to let Renji go.

The meeting took a while, as details were discussed. It was planned that 3 groups would be sent to the human world. Kira and Shuuhei would be part of the last group. Hopefully it won't be necessary, everybody was expecting for the first group to find the Arrancar and eliminate it. But something didn't seem right. Kira didn't understand a lot of things that were happening. There were too many loose ends.

"Abarai-kun, be careful in the human world." Kira said to his friend in the end of the meeting. Shuuhei joined them.

"Don't worry, I'm gonna kill the arrancar before giving you guys the chance to see it." He laughed.

"But still, be careful!" Kira repeated. Hisagi looked at the blond carefully, as if he was reading him.

"There will be a lot of Captains there, I'm sure everything will be fine." Shuuhei assured Kira.

"Yeah, and I'm not that weak either." The redhead responded, "Well, I still have to take care of a few things before I go. See ya guys!"

Kira and Shuuhei watched Renji walk away.

"I can hear your brain working, Kira. What's going on?" Shuuhei asked.

The blond blushed bright red, noticing he was alone with the other fukutaicho. This was the first time they spoke since that awful night.

"Even more importantly, why have you been avoiding me?" the tattooed man asked.

"I'm not avoiding you. I've been extremely busy."

"Liar." Hisagi chuckled. "You've been acting weird lately."

Kira looked down leaning slightly his head to the side trying to hide his face behind his hair.

"No, I'm not."

"You are acting weird now."

"I am?"

"Yeah, 'Oh, be careful Abarai-kun'" Hisagi imitated Kira with a girlie voice.

"Shut up, I didn't sound like that." The blond said laughing making Hisagi laugh, "It's just I think this is strange."

"What is strange?"

"This mission." Kira looked around and pulled Hisagi to a corner by his hand. When he realized he was grabbing his hand, Kira pulled right away. Hisagi looked like he didn't mind about him grabbing his hand. Izuru's heart was beating madly fast. How much he missed being with that man, his presence was so soothing, yet so frantic. It was hard to explain.

"What is strange about the mission?" Hisagi asked lowly.

"Well, don't you think it's weird that there was an emergency Taicho meeting, because of one Arrancar?"

"Actually, yeah that's kinda strange."

"And that even we were summoned in that meeting? That has never happened before! And Sou-taicho is going to send three taichos in at one time because of an Arrancar? Sure, they requested strong shinigamis but sending Taichos right away, doesn't it seem precipitated?"

"Indeed, normally seated officers would go first, and in this type of urgent cases, just one taicho or a couple of fukutaichos."

"Exactly. I think there is more to this mission than they told in the meeting."

"They could be hiding it on purpose. When I arrived, I heard Soi Fon-Taicho commenting something about Yoruichi-san being in the Seireitei for hours and not visiting her. From what I understood they were here all night with Sou-taicho."

"They are definitely keeping something from us, I wonder what it is." Kira stated.

"And why."

Kira bit his lower lip thinking.

"That actually makes sense."

"What makes sense?"

"Sou-taicho asked for volunteers in the first place. If they are omitting something it can only mean one thing." Kira said looking at Shuuhei's eyes.

"What?"

"That what truly happened in the human world was so severe that if they told about it not even a Captain would want to volunteer."


	6. Egotism

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will eventually post a small oneshot of this chapter. Basically it is Hisagi's POV of what happened.
> 
> This chapter was beta-ed by Mazewithoutend from AarinFantasy.
> 
> Thank you all for the kudos and love! :)

Chapter 5 -  _ **Egotism**_

**Kira**

There was a soft calm in the Seireitei. A couple of days passed since the first group of shinigamis went to the human world, to fight the invisible Arrancar menace that attacked the Quincy, Ishida Uryuu.

Everything was quieter than usual, making Kira feel a little bit alone. Abarai was on Earth, once again, on the mission, along with Matsumoto. And Madarame and Ayasegawa were in charge of the 11th Squad while Kenpachi was also in the mission. Basically, the entertainment in the Seireitei was cut by more than half.

Grabbing the opportunity, Kira decided to get his work in order, since there were barely any distractions. He also decided to organize everything with his higher seated officers just in case he had to go to the mission on the real world.

Izuru hadn't seen Hisagi since the day of the meeting. He felt many emotions about it; he didn't know how to react with the 9th Division fukutaicho. It was difficult to figure out how to deal with his feelings in front of Shuuhei. It was getting harder and harder to hide his shyness, his awkward uneasy feelings, his jealousy...

That night when Shuuhei  _forgot_  he had plans with him and went out with Matsumoto instead - lying to him about it - hurt Kira more than he expected. It wasn't something new to him, that someday Hisagi would find a nice girl, and would get married and if lucky, have kids – have a family. Kira knew this and he was resigned to that, but it still hurt. Part of him selfishly desired to kidnap Shuuhei and lock him somewhere only him could access. He wanted Hisagi only for him and no one else. He wanted to be the only person in the brunet's thoughts, the only person those dark eyes looked at. He wanted Hisagi to belong only to him, and he only to Hisagi.

But it hurt. It hurt so bad Shuuhei lied to him. Lying meant distrust. Hisagi didn't trust him. That friendship that was supposed to be perfect, was probably one-sided. Just like his love.

And the question was – how should he react to this? Sure they both spoke well after the meeting, but Kira could feel his control slip when the conversation moved to something related to Matsumoto or relationships. It was hard to smile and nod his head, when all he wanted was to grab Shuuhei by his collar and shut him up with a kiss. However, he would never do that. After all, he was " _innocent"_  like the other man said. He wouldn't kiss Shuuhei out of nowhere, he wouldn't kiss another man, he wouldn't kiss anyone at all...

Kira sighed as he finished the last paperwork he had. He officially had nothing else to do. No more reports and no more orders to give, apart from the basic daily affairs within the Squad, but his Division members were quite capable of doing everything without his constant supervision.

Since the Third Division was betrayed – twice - a tight comradeship was formed. The members were there for each other, and they were all fine with the idea of having the blond fukutaicho to command them. After all, Kira proved to be one of the most impressive shinigami fighting against the Arrancar. They didn't need a Captain; Kira was more than capable to lead them. Even if in the beginning, when Ichimaru abandoned them, they suspected Kira was also a traitor, it was now clear that their fukutaicho was a very reliable person. No matter what happened, he never left them, he never gave up, he never let the honour of the Third Division disappear completely. Kira was their leader, he was there for them, and they were there for him. So, everybody helped in their own way, and assist the best they could to make the Third Squad as important as any other.

Kira was proud of his men, and he tried his best to not disappoint them.

It was almost time for dinner; the sky was starting to darken. Kira decided that he would go home, eat something easy to cook, have a nice bath and go straight to bed, until something changed his mind. A Hell Butterfly met him, right after he stepped outside his office. His heart thumped in anxious way, when he recognized Hisagi's voice.

_"I know what you are going to say, but screw the orders, I'll use hell butterfly whenever I want. Come to my place, I have lots of sake and I'm bored. I'll make dinner."_

Kira stood still as he watched the black butterfly flying away. Hisagi invited him to go eat at his place. Should he go?

His rational side kept telling him,  _'Don't go, you will only feed more your lonely heart with reckless hope'_ ; but his intuitive side negated that idea. He was invited to go to Shuuhei's house to eat his food, and drink with him. Alone! He wouldn't let that pass, and even if there were no hidden intentions in that invitation, he wouldn't refuse, because every second with Hisagi-san was worth it.

Kira's feet walked on their own to his new destination. He delegated his last orders of the day to his new third seat and left his barracks. He didn't flash step to the 9th Division, but he walked relatively fast.

_'Maybe I should have changed clothes?'_

No, he didn't have to. The blond didn't want to over-prepare himself like he did the other day, in case he would be  _neglected_  again; he wouldn't feel so idiotic for being careful and eager for the meeting.

Soon he entered the 9th Division. He took off his waraji and walked through the wooden floor that led to the several departments and offices in the building. Unlike him, Hisagi's chambers were right next to his fukutaicho office, with a door inside that linked both rooms.

Kira stopped before the office and knocked the door. A few seconds after, Shuuhei opened it, greeting Kira.

"Good, you came." He said, cheerful.

"Just because you mentioned sake." Kira joked.

"Why am I not surprised by that?" Hisagi chuckled.

Hisagi let Kira enter and closed the door. The 9th Division fukutaicho's place was very simple. It was smaller than Kira's, and consisted of a single room, which Hisagi used as his room and living room, a small kitchen and a bathroom. Generally, every Taicho and Fukutaicho office had a similar room attached. Kira never used his, because he was always at the Taicho office, and he never used the Taicho's annex because, well... it was Gin's room.

"You should get a phone in the Third. You are probably the only one not having one." Hisagi said as he walked to his kitchen. Kira followed him.

"I know. I never felt the need before, because we could use the Hell Butterflies for everything."

"But phones are faster and it's not a one-sided talk." Hisagi said.

"But it's safer. There are rumours the 12th Division is monitoring all calls made in the Seireitei." Kira said.

"That's a lie. Akon said Kurotsuchi-taicho doesn't care about it. They only listen to calls made between here and the human world."

"Even so..." Kira looked around, "Nabemono?" He asked as he saw the small stove and ingredients in the kitchen counter.

"Yeah, I felt like eating Yosenabe, but it's sad to eat Hot Pot alone."

Kira helped Hisagi take everything to the room, and soon both shinigamis were eating in the small table.

"It's been a while since we ate together." Hisagi said as he served himself.

"Yes." Kira replied, without thinking too much about his  _forgotten_  dinner invitation from last time.

"It's nice, though." The brunet said. "Especially when you keep avoiding me."

"I'm not avoiding you!"

"Yeah right. You barely come to see me." Hisagi said. Kira frowned.

"Why don't YOU come to see me?"

"I went to see YOU, but you weren't at your place." Hisagi said. Kira had purposely avoided him at the time, because he was too afraid to start crying in front of Shuuhei if he saw him. "You keep telling me you are working hard, but whenever I go see you, you are never there, I wonder where you truly have been..."

"Probably doing some errands, we must have missed each other." Kira's heart beat so fast. He didn't want to look like he was lying, but Hisagi was sharp, he could sense easily when he lied. He could feel those dark eyes reading his face.

"Or maybe you're lying."

_'Damn.'_

"I think you are hiding something from me." Shuuhei continued, as he filled his cup of sake.

"Why would I lie to you?" Kira said looking down at his food; maybe he could manipulate Hisagi with the whole I-would-never-lie-to-my-close-friend-Hisagi-san argument.

"Dunno, maybe the Golden Rule?" Hisagi asked.

"Since when do we follow that?" Kira asked too.

"Since you don't tell me everything." Hisagi stated. Kira stopped eating and looked at the brunet. Hisagi looked like was talking about something specific. Oh no! Did he suspect his feelings? That was impossible, no one knew about that, maybe he made a mistake and let something slide?

"What do you mean?" Kira asked looking at him.

Hisagi's eyes avoided his.

"You know... about your crush."

In that moment, Kira thought he would die.

"Wh-What?"

Shuuhei couldn't have discovered, oh no, he couldn't!

"Last time we went out, you said you liked someone."

"Oh..." The blond felt so relieved - he didn't know after all. "I never said that."

"But you implied it. And I'm hurt you don't tell me who it is."

"It's not like you tell me everything, Hisagi-san." Kira said.

"I tell you everything."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I do." Hisagi said. Kira looked at him straight in the eyes. It pained him that Hisagi wouldn't tell him about that day with Matsumoto. But he didn't know how to bring up that topic; he didn't want Hisagi to be mad at him. He had the right to keep that matter to himself, it's not like Kira was his wife or anything...

"It's no one." He replied.

"Liar." Hisagi said smiling, "I know you like someone, you space out a lot of times, and I can see the glint in your eyes – that's love."

Izuru blushed. Hisagi looked at him that much? To know when he spaced out?

"And now you are blushing." Hisagi said eating.

"No, I'm not. It's the sake." Kira excused and drank from his cup.

"You blush every time we speak about this, just admit it you like someone." Hisagi said grinning, clearly with the alcohol starting to make effect.

"Ok, I admit it." Kira blurt out, only then noticing what he said. His face became so red, it looked like he was going to explode. He looked up, to see supposedly amused Hisagi, but instead he saw Hisagi staring serious at him.

"You really like someone." The tattooed man said in a low voice.

"Didn't you already know?"

"Yeah I did, but hearing you saying it, it's... different." Hisagi said still serious. Kira didn't know what to say, Shuuhei's expression was not what he expected. He looked mad – was he mad?

"D-Do you think I'm weird?" the blond asked.

"No, why would I?"

Kira didn't have an answer to that. He couldn't say  _'Because I like a guy, and it's you.'_  Shuuhei expected him to like a girl. Liking a girl shouldn't be weird.

"Do I know that person?" Hisagi asked.

_'Yes, you look at him every time you see yourself in the mirror.'_

"Maybe..."

"Is it Hinamori?"

_'Why does he keep asking if it's her?'_

"I told you before, no!" Kira said.

"Rangiku?"

"No! And stop trying to guess, I'm not going to tell you." Kira said firmly.

"Why not? Don't you trust me?" Hisagi asked slowly. Kira felt guilty. Of course he trusted him, he trusted Hisagi with his life. But this was different, he couldn't tell him.

"It's not about trust. You know you're the only person I truly trust."

"Then why don't you tell me?"

"Because... because I don't like to talk about it. I don't have any chances with that person, so I rather not talking about it." Kira said shyly.

"Have you... tried anything? How do you know you have no chances?" Hisagi asked. He didn't seem mad anymore, maybe he understood his feelings. Part of Kira was somewhat relieved.

"I... I just know it. I'm not really... that person's type." Kira said ashamed of his own words.

Hisagi stared at him in silence. They both ate with an uncomfortable mood surrounding them. At least it was uncomfortable for Kira. He wondered if Shuuhei discovered what he meant by "type". He was confident everything he spoke couldn't compromise him, but Hisagi had a keen sixth sense.

The uncomfortable silence eventually faded away, as the food ended and the empty sake bottles piled up on the small table.

"Where did you get so much sake?" Kira asked, his cheeks stained with a rosy shade from the alcohol.

"I have good-hearted guys in my division."

"Really? I wish my men did the same for me." Kira said, drinking some more.

"Maybe they will in the future. Everything seems fine lately in your Squad."

"Of course everything's fine!" Kira raised his voice making Hisagi flinch. "I-I worked very hard to make everything fine!" Kira could feel his head starting to spin a bit, he was aware that he was starting to get drunk.

"I know you did." Hisagi smiled at him. Kira was in awe at that beautiful expression.

"We are fine in the squad as long as we have no Taicho!" the blond boldly replied.

"Don't say that. We both need a Taicho you know that."

"No we don't! I don't need one! I can do all the work, I can defend them! And I will not use them, ever!" Kira said. Hisagi stared at the blond, probably realizing he was getting drunk.

"I agree, you can take care of them. You are their true leader, but you deserve a Taicho to take half of that work out of your back."

"I don't need that. I'm good with doing all the work."

"But then we barely have time to see each oth-"

"OH MY GOD!" Kira cut Hisagi's words. The blond stared at the window that showed the dark sky. "Look at all those stars!"

Hisagi looked at the sky and smiled.

"It looks better with the lights turned off." He got up and turned off the lights of the room. Kira looked at the sky in awe; he only saw the stars so bright when he lived in his house in Rukongai. Seireitei always had the lights on at night, so only a few stars could be seen, but the 9th Division barracks were on top of a small hill, so the street lights didn't reach them. It was a magnificent view.

The stars were so bright that they illuminated the whole room. Kira looked back and noticed Hisagi wasn't there, the brunet seemed to have taken the dishes to the kitchen. He wanted Hisagi to be there with him watching those stars; there was a perfect mood for them to be together cuddling, kissing, embracing...

Kira grabbed a new bottle of sake and drank from it. No, he couldn't have those thoughts. Hisagi wouldn't cuddle or kiss or anything with him. They were friends! Just because they ate together it didn't mean Kira had the right to wish for something like that. So he kept drinking to drown those dirty thoughts.

Eventually Hisagi came back again and sat next to him.

"Kira are you planning in getting drunk 'til you black out?" Hisagi asked amused.

"I don't black out!"

"Oh yes, you do. You just don't remember you do."

"No, I don't! I-I..." Kira stopped and frowned, "I forgot what I was going to say."

Hisagi chuckled.

"Maybe you should stop. We have work tomorrow." The older man said and tried to take Kira's bottle from his hand.

"No!" Kira grabbed the drink with all his strength but Hisagi didn't give up. Unexpectedly, the bottle slipped from Kira's hands and Hisagi carelessly spilled the sake over Kira's shihakusho.

"Oh God, sorry, Kira!" Hisagi said. Kira laughed.

"Look, Hisagi-san, I'm all wet!" He laughed even more, he had no idea what was going on with him but he couldn't stop laughing, Hisagi started to laugh too.

"Maybe you should take that off, to let it dry." The brunet said. Kira nodded and let him take the obi off, and then push the kosode over his shoulders.

"Your shitagi is also wet." Hisagi said, taking it off as well. Kira felt like he was dreaming, Hisagi was taking off his clothes. Maybe that was it! This could only be a dream! Kira felt very bold.

"My hakama is also wet." He said innocently. Hisagi smirked. If this was a dream - which he was pretty sure it was - it was the best dream he had had for a long time.

"Then you have to take it off as well." He replied, untying the sash, "Why is it that you end up almost naked every time you drink, Kira?"

"I'm not the only one!" the blond replied.

"Yeah, we both end up always half naked." Shuuhei said removing Kira's hakama and putting it aside opened, to dry.

"Why am I the only one naked now?" Kira asked lying down on the floor, his drunkenness clouding his vision and mind.

"I'll take my clothes off too, if you want." Hisagi said. Kira watched as the other man took off his uniform. The light of the stars coming from outside the window bathed Hisagi's tanned skin. The blond tried to reach for him with his hand, he wanted to touch that skin. The brunet noticed and grabbed his hand pulling him into a seated position, but Kira lost his balance and fell forward, Hisagi grabbed him from the front. He chuckled.

"Kira you are so drunk."

The blond tried to speak but nothing came from his mouth, instead he nuzzled his face on the brunet's chest. The smell was so good, manly and sweet at the same time; Kira wished he could just stay like that, smelling that scent.

"Hold on." Shuuhei laid down Kira again and got up. After what seemed minutes, Izuru felt himself being grabbed again and moved to something soft. It felt like a futon. The blond turned around and laid down on his stomach and watched the starry sky with his head resting on the pillow. He felt Hisagi doing something on the bottom of the futon.

"Hisagi-san!" Kira jolted and lifted his upper body, reaching for the brunet, he grabbed him and pulled him down. Hisagi fell on top of the right side of his back. The older man's body was hot, it felt so good, like a warm blanket.

"What is it Kira?"

"I saw a shooting star." Kira said laying his head on the pillow.

"Really?" Hisagi said looking at the sky, "Did you wish something?"

"Yes..." The blond softly replied closing his eyes.

"What did you wish?"

Kira felt himself starting to fall asleep. He wished for him. To have Hisagi. But he couldn't know about it. He would be disgusted by him. Last thing he said before losing consciousness was, "I'm sorry..."

**0000000000**

Kira woke up but didn't open his eyes. He wasn't sure if he was awake or if he was still asleep. He moved his head and felt his pillow wasn't like it normally was. And the smell wasn't the same. It was a familiar smell, though. It smelt like... Hisagi-san. Kira's eyes immediately opened. He wasn't home. He looked around and recognized Hisagi's place. He sat on the futon and noticed two things. First, he was alone. He couldn't feel Hisagi's presence anywhere. And two, he was only dressed in his fundoshi.

Now, a normal person would be thrilled in waking up half naked in their crush's bed, but not Kira - especially because he had no idea what happened the night before. He remembered eating dinner and then... nothing, absolutely nothing. He had drunk so much he couldn't remember anything; and Kira was used to drink, he wasn't the type to faint from alcohol or not remembering the night before, so he could only conclude he drank a lot. He hoped he didn't say anything improper to his senpai, or worse... tried anything improper, since he was in his underwear and he had been so drunk. It was a scary thing that his mind was so empty.

Izuru noticed that in the corner of the room, on top of the table, there was what it seemed to be his shihakusho folded. Lazily he got up and walked to the table. Indeed it was his uniform, and there was a note.

_"Kira, I tried to take off the smell of sake but couldn't. If you want you can wear one of my shihakushos in my closet. Though, you may not like the idea of walking around with another guy's clothes... Eat something before you go. Hisagi."_

Kira was relieved and disappointed at the same time with that note. Of course part of him expected that something could have actually happened, but that was asking too much. But the fact that Hisagi wrote a note for him meant he was fine with him, and that was a good thing.

He grabbed his uniform and smelled it. The sake scent was strong, but bearable. Wearing Hisagi's clothes was not an option, because they wouldn't fit him and also because his kosodes were all sleeveless. It would be obvious who they belonged to. Walking around Seireitei looking like that would be extremely suspicious and would lead to unnecessary rumours.

As courtesy Kira put away the futon and cleaned the room, and after a quick visit to the bathroom and dressing in his uniform, he left Shuuhei's chambers. The office was also empty. He left the building and noticed it was still early. The sun was starting to rise, so he had to be fast if he didn't want to be caught by any other shinigami. As he walked he wondered where Hisagi was so early in the morning. Maybe he was in Seireitei Communication office. Shuuhei tended to spend a lot of time in that place; he went there but the SC office was empty.

Sighing disappointed, Kira went back to the Third Division.

The morning came quick, and at noon Kira went to the 4th Division, where a member of his Squad was because of an injury he had while doing some work in the barracks. As a responsible substitute-Captain, he felt the need to check upon every single seated and unseated member in his Squad.

After checking on the poor guy, and listening to Kotetsu-fukutaicho recommendations, when he was leaving he met Hisagi at the front of the 4th barracks.

"Hisagi-san!" Kira said, too eager. He mentally kicked himself for looking so obviously happy.

"Oh, Kira..." Hisagi simply said. He looked strange.

"I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. I drank too much. I hope I didn't do anything embarrassing." The blond said politely.

"Not really, I was also drunk so... Hmm... do you remember anything?" the taller man asked raising an eyebrow.

"No." Kira said.

"Good, I mean, I don't either." The brunet laughed nervously. Hisagi was acting very strange. Did something happen the night before? The blond fukutaicho was scared.

"Hisag-"

"Look Kira-"

Both spoke at the same time.

"You first." The blond said.

"It's just I'm kinda busy now, so..."

"Oh." Ok, this was disappointing, something seemed off; it was really a scary thought, had Kira said anything while he was stupidly drunk?

In that moment they were interrupted by a messenger.

"Third Division, Kira-fukutaicho. Ninth Division Hisagi-fukutaicho. Yamamoto-Soutaicho ordered your presence in an emergency meeting at the Captain's meeting room, on the First Division barracks, immediately."

Both shinigamis looked at each other and went straight away to the 1st Squad barracks.

As they arrived, they noticed Kuchiki-Taicho arriving at the same time. They both entered after the noble. The meeting room wasn't as crowded as the previous meeting.

Only Kenpachi, Hitsugaya and Kurotsuchi were there, along of course, soutaicho.

Kira noticed Hitsugaya had a concerned expression in his face. Did something happen in the real world?

"Good, you arrived quickly." The old man spoke, "Hitsugaya-taicho, can you explain them what happened?"

"Yes...I'm going to say this straight away. There was an issue in the human realm."

The tension grew within the meeting room.

"The Arrancar appeared and we couldn't do anything." Hitsugaya said serious, "Except Abarai Renji. He fought the Arrancar."

Wow, Renji fought him? That was great, wasn't it? But why did Kira have a bad feeling about this?

"How is he?" Kuchiki asked.

"I gotta give the credit to the boy, he really fought bravely the Arrancar." Kenpachi said grinning.

"I asked how he is." Kuchiki said in an intimidating tone. Kira noticed that the noble must have understood something serious happened to Renji. Kira gulped, he hoped that Abarai was well.

"He's in a critical state." Hitsugaya said, "We were returning from patrolling when Abarai sensed the Arrancar's presence. He said he could see his form, but in a blur. We couldn't see anything. He released his bankai, but in vain. I tried to freeze everything around the area where the Arrancar was supposed to be, but it was useless against it."

"I analysed the area around the attack, but my equipment didn't capture anything different. Abarai was fighting thin air, it was like he was fighting nothing at all." Kurotsuchi said, "My idea was that Abarai, the Quincy and Shihoin Yoruichi were having some sort of hallucination, however that idea became null."

"Why is that?" Kira asked, without realizing he spoke. Kurotsuchi looked at him with a creepy glare, the blond tried to stay firm and not look straight at the golden eyes.

"Because, hallucinations don't attack and physically hurt people."

"Where is Abarai-fukutaicho?" Kuchiki asked.

"He's at Urahara's shop. Inoue Orihime is healing him." Hitsugaya replied.

Byakuya watched silently for a few second the small Captain, then his eyes moved to soutaicho.

"I request permission to let a medical team from the 4th Division to go treat Abarai-fukutaicho."

"Request denied." The old man replied. Kira's eyes widen. Byakuya slightly frowned, so slightly it was hard to notice, but coming from the noble it was still a rare thing. Kira wondered why was Byakuya so interested in Renji's well being. Sure he was his lieutenant, but still, wasn't he being a little harsh talking like that, especially with a superior?

"Then I request for him to return to Soul Society to receive medical care."

"I can't permit that either."

"Why?" this time Hisagi spoke. Kira looked at him; he didn't seem intimidated by the rest of the Captains.

"There is... more." Hitsugaya replied gloomy. "The injuries Abarai received were not common."

"Abarai's injuries are severe because they can't be cured." Kurotsuchi said.

"We don't know that yet. Orihime is doing everything she can." Hitsugaya harshly replied to the 12th Squad Taicho.

"But in vain. The wounds Abarai received were not serious. They were made by some kind of blade, most likely the Arrancar's zanpakuto. However, their effect is the issue." Kurotsuchi explained, "The same thing happened to the Quincy. They were both poisoned."

"Poisoned?" Hisagi asked once again.

"The Quincy received a single blow, and it was enough to take him down. This was because the attack continued after he was rescued. The wound itself was cured, but the contact of the blade with the skin, released a poison that sucked a small part of his reiatsu and almost all the water in his body.

"Lately, Karakura Town has been dealing with a strange wave of heat. Hundreds of people died with heat strokes or dehydration. It seems that this was the Arrancar's work. We don't know yet how, but he caused the heat wave and he was the reason why people died of dehydration, this because he's been sucking the water of their bodies. The Quincy is receiving fluids daily to maintain his levels of water normal, and the poison was starting to wear off when we left."

"Then it's curable." Kuchiki stated.

"Abarai's case is different. Since his body is not human, things didn't work the same form. Instead of sucking a small part of his reiatsu and water, it's sucking only his reiastu and in bigger quantities. We all know shinigami's bodies are made of reishi, if it continues like this, even the reishi will be drained and very soon Abarai will disappear." Kurotsuchi said. Kira's heart bumped deeply. Was Abarai going to die?

"But like I said, Orihime is trying to heal him. She is continuously working on him, and Urahara-san and Tensai-san are helping with Kido, and reiatsu transferring techniques. He can't come to Soul Society because they put him in a gigai, since a human structure seems to bear the poison better than a soul alone." Hitsugaya said.

"Do you understand now, why I won't send a medical team?" Soutaicho asked Kuchiki, "The risk for a shinigami is too great, only a single blow can kill. So I have decided no Captains shall be part of this mission. Nonetheless, we can't let such a menace free on Earth, so I decided to send Kira-fukutaicho and Hisagi-fukutaicho to this mission instead. I believe you two are well capable of succeed in this mission, since you already know what is going on. Hisagi-fukutaicho, you will be the leader, and will be the connection between the Seireitei and the human realm."

"Yes, sir."

"Matsumoto is there. She was also able to sense the Arrancar. She didn't arrive in time to help Abarai, because she was far away, but she and Yoruichi are the only ones that aren't hurt who are capable of sensing it." Hitsugaya said sadly. Kira wondered if that was the real reason why he was so gloomy; leaving Matsumoto alone against such a threat.

"I ask permission to go on the mission too." Kuchiki said, surprising everybody.

"Didn't you understand when I said no Captains are going to be part of the mission?" Soutaicho.

"I understand. However, the Sixth Division fukutaicho is wounded, it's a Captain's duty to go to the rescue of the members of his squad." Byakuya said monotonously.

"Denied."

Kira wasn't sure what was going on, but the glare battle between old man Yamamoto and Kuchiki Byakuya was so intense, he felt his own body freeze; not because he was afraid but because the aura both emitted was so strong that it paralysed every muscle in his body.

"Abarai-fukutaicho is a member of the Sixth Division, and as the law is written, the Sixth Division is in the Kuchiki Clan jurisdiction." the noble calmly spoke.

"In terms of internal affairs it is, but when it comes to well-being of the Gotei 13, it's not." Soutaicho cut the noble off.

"The rules say that any member of the 6th Division that is in danger medically and/or judicially shall be treated and/or judged before the Kuchiki Clan, in any situation. Only in matters involving the harm of shinigamis from another Squad, we do not have power of decision." Kuchiki said, like he was reading it from a book.

Yamamoto sighed.

"I wasn't expecting you to be so reckless. If I knew I wouldn't have summoned you. Do you understand what the risks are if you go?" Soutaicho asked.

"If anything happens to me, you won't be blamed, neither will be the Central 46. If I'm injured because of Abarai, the Kuchiki Clan will deal with it." Kuchiki responded.

"Very well, than you can go. However, the moment Abarai is fine you shall return immediately."

This was it? Soutaicho let Kuchiki-taicho have his way so easily? Kira was confused. And somewhat pissed off: Soutaicho didn't want to spare any of the Captains, but he didn't mind discarding he and Hisagi so fast.

"I'll only return with my fukutaicho. And I believe he will want to stay, since he is able to sense the Arrancar."

"Yeah, right. To me sounds like you want to fight the Arrancar instead." Kenpachi said laughing. Byakuya gave him a deadly glare.

"Do as you wish, however I have one condition. The leader of the group will still be Hisagi-fukutaicho." Soutaicho said.

"I'm fine with that." Byakuya replied. Kira was also fine with that. He knew Shuuhei was more than capable of being a great leader.

After discussing more details about the mission, both fukutaichos left the meeting.

"Kuchiki-taicho looked really cool going against Soutaicho like that. I wonder why, If that rule existed, why he didn't use it when Rukia was going to be executed? What do you think Hisagi-san?" Kira asked.

"I dunno." The brunet simply replied. Kira felt a pain in his chest. Why was Hisagi so cold?

"I have to take care of a few things before we go. Don't forget to go to the 12th as Soutaicho said." Hisagi said, before Kira could say anything he left. Kira watched the back of Shuuhei as he walked away. Something was very strange, and Kira couldn't help, but wonder if he said anything the night before. Hisagi was avoiding him, like he was disgusted by him. He wanted to cry, but couldn't. He had an important mission, and he had to think about Renji. His friend was in a critical state; he couldn't be selfish and be sad about his idiotic broken heart while there were worse problems going on.

Trying to ignore the pain, Kira went to his division inform his Squad he had a mission and put in action the plan he organized, leaving his third seat in charge.

**0000000000**

"And Hisagi-fukutaicho has already the report with the details my taicho brought." Akon spoke, "Regarding your gigai, we already took care of it with Urahara-san, and it will be ready at the Urahara shop by the time you arrive there. Do you have a ginkongan?"

"Yes, I have." Kira replied, he had, once in the past, used his soul candy dispenser, and the mod soul in there had some... psychological issues. That day Kira Izuru learned a lesson for life - that he should never ask Matsumoto for an opinion.

"Then everything seems settled. Once you are in the human world, use your gigai. Even if you are able to sense the Arrancar. We are not sure, but if you are injured in a gigai, it shouldn't affect your real body as badly as it did to Abarai." Akon continued.

"I got it, thank you." Kira said and turned around to leave with the items Akon gave him.

"Wait!" Akon said, and pulled him into a corner. The blond felt his head heating up, being pulled like that by another guy.

"Listen," the horned man said, "I already told this to Hisagi, but I think I should tell you too, even if I'm not supposed to."

Kira gulped. The other man continued.

"There's a chance this may be... Aizen's work."

Kira's eyes widen.

"How? He's here imprisoned, it's impossible to esc-"

"It may be a plan he already had before, but this is only speculation. My taicho didn't let me see the complete data he brought from the human world. So, be careful; if this is Aizen's work, we can't underestimate the enemy."

Kira left the 12th Division barracks and walked towards the Sixth, where Kuchiki-taicho insisted in leaving through his private senkaimon. It was still early, so he took his time walking. As he walked he gripped the handle of Wabisuke tightly, thinking about what Akon just said.

This Arrancar could be doing this for the sake of Aizen... Kira didn't feel particularly nervous about Aizen; it was simply the fact that every time he heard the name Aizen, his mind automatically associated it with Gin. And it was not like he was afraid of Gin, he had been dead for months now, but the memories were still so fresh. Kira missed those memories as much as he hated them. The idea of being involved again in something that could have been planned by Gin's hands sickened his stomach. All he ever wanted was for that chapter of his life to be closed.

As he walked, he noticed a figure in front also walking; the figure seemed to be carrying a lot of things. The blond almost choked on his own saliva when he noticed that it was Shuuhei. He was so wrapped with his thoughts about Gin he hadn't paid attention to Hisagi's reiatsu right in front of him.

Kira ran to him.

"Hisagi-san!"

Shuuhei looked at him and then looked front again.

"Kira, are you going already to the meeting point?"

"Yes, I have everything ready so I decided to go. You're carrying a lot of things."

"Akon asked to take some things to install in the human world, and Hitsugaya-taicho asked me to take some other things to Rangiku." Shuuhei said with a monotone voice. He was definitely acting weird. Kira was entering in panic mode, but maybe Hisagi was just having a bad day, right? It's not every day that important missions like this appear, and Abarai was very injured, maybe he was concerned about that. Even though, he was acting weird before the meeting and knowing about the mission.

"I see. Do you want help with that?" Kira asked gladly.

"No, it's ok."

"Come on! Let me help-" Kira touched his shoulder, but Hisagi flinched, escaping from his touch. Kira stood there frozen. Hisagi looked at him, also still as a pole. It looked like minutes, when only seconds passed.

"Hmm, s-sorry. I'm fine carrying these, so... yeah, thanks anyway." The older one said as he started to walk again. Kira didn't say anything. He followed him in silence. He tried to cover his face with his bangs, as he wanted to cry. Holding the tears as much as he could, he tried to control his reiatsu. Emotions could be well shown through reiatsu. Disguising it was the best option.

Hisagi was mad because of him. Or he wouldn't jolt like he did. Kira must have screwed up things pretty badly the night before, if Shuuhei couldn't even bear his touch. He probably spoke about his feelings, or about what happened with Gin. And Hisagi now thought he was sick...

Everything Kira endured the past decades was all in vain. Kira gripped once again Wabisuke's handle.

_'Calm down, calm down. I need to think about Abarai, he will need me to support him, once we arrive.'_

He repeated this mantra over and over in his mind while they walked.

They both arrived sooner than planner, but Byakuya was already waiting for them. Thank goodness, the three of them were the type to never be late.

Kira tried to look as normal as possible.

Kuchiki-taicho's servants prepared the senkaimon for them to pass.

"Once we arrive at the human world, you'll be leading Hisagi-fukutaicho." Byakuya spoke. Kira noticed he wasn't carrying anything besides his zanpakuto.

"Yes." Hisagi replied. Hearing his voice hurt, Kira closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

The senkaimon gates opened, a white light coming from it.

Byakuya walked fast into it with his hell butterfly, his servants bowing their heads as he passed. Shuuhei followed him, and then Kira joined too, painfully watching the back of Hisagi.

The travel between both dimensions was fast, not too longer after, they arrived at the human world where it was already night.

As Kira stepped into the asphalt road, he realized something was different. A strange noise was coming from nowhere in particularly. It was like a metallic buzzing sound. It was very light, but somewhat annoying. The blond had been in the human world before, and he never heard this sound.

"What's wrong Kira?" Kira jumped hearing Hisagi's voice. He hadn't realized that the fukutaicho and the noble had already started to walk towards a house across them that said  _Urahara's Shop_.

"Nothing, it's just... Can't you hear this strange noise?" Kira asked.

"What noise?"

"This buzzing sound."

Shuuhei frowned and looked thoughtful, trying to hear the abnormal sound.

"I can't hear anything." Hisagi said looking at him. Kira couldn't bear the other man staring at him.

"Maybe it's nothing." Kira said putting on an obviously forced smile.

"If it's nothing, let's not waste time." Kuchiki-taicho spoke from behind Shuuhei, as he started to walk again towards the house, followed by Hisagi.

This was going to be a hard night, probably an even harder mission. At least, he had Renji and Matsumoto to distract himself from his misery. Uh... not really... thinking well about it, Matsumoto was there and so was Hisagi...

Izuru wondered if this was going to be the death of him, how pathetic would it be? Dying of a broken heart? Nothing would be more embarrassing than to succumb because of an unrequited gay love. Well, maybe dying of annoyance, because of that strange noise... Yeah, that would definitely be more embarrassing...

 


	7. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the late post.
> 
> This story is basically an alternative route, after Aizen's defeat. I'm trying very had to make the characters stay in character as much as possible. However, this is a romance based story, so they may sound a bit different at times. Most OOC so far is Kira, but no worries he will show his strong side too. Byakuya may also appear a bit OOC through the story, but let's face it - for Byakuya and Renji to work out, Byakuya has to become a little less stiff =D
> 
> This chapter was beta-ed by MazeWithoutEnd from AFF.

Chapter 6 –  _ **Jealousy**_

**Byakuya**

In all his life, Kuchiki Byakuya was what shinigami called a true inspiration. He had grown within one of the four great noble families, under the teachings of his grandfather Ginrei, the one that led the Sixth Division and the Kuchiki clan. He had proved that being part of a noble family wasn't about monetary power or social status, but what count was the strength within a person; he rose to the top on his own, with his own abilities and intelligence. Byakuya showed, that even though, he was destined, since he was born, to become the leader of his clan and the Captain of the Sixth Division, that he deserved such positions, because he worked hard to be worthy of it.

Byakuya was an inspiration, and a target of admiration, also because of his flawless work. Perfection was his most known quality. Everybody knew that, everybody expected that, and everybody tried to measure up to that. The nobleman knew that such acts of corresponding to his wishes and his perfect manners were done either because of fear or a hidden interest. Byakuya was no fool - he knew when he was being used, and knew even better the smell of fear.

That is why, in his entire life as a Soul, Byakuya only truly paid attention and admired – outside the Kuchiki clan -three people, the ones that made him the man he was nowadays. The first one was, no matter how much he hated to admit it to himself, Shihoin Yoruichi. She was the first person to treat him like a normal being, she was the first one ever to challenge him, to demonstrate him that he was just another person in Soul Society, that he wasn't the best or the greatest and that he had to train very hard to deserve a higher spot in his life – and of course to beat her in speed. He admired Yoruichi, because she taught him that a real shinigami must have goals in life, and must work hard to gain respect, because respect couldn't be bought with nobility, it had to be fairly earned.

The second person he admired was his late wife, Hisana. She showed him that money didn't mean anything, that everybody was the same, and that strength was something that came from the heart. From the moment Byakuya met her, he knew that he loved her. She didn't care if he was a noble or a shinigami. She defied him in so many ways, that the man knew with her he wouldn't need anything or anyone else, so he fought for her until he won her heart. He always saw Hisana as someone stronger than he would ever be. She was sincere and humble; she helped the most fragile without getting anything in return. Byakuya admired Hisana, because she taught him that it didn't matter a person's background, what was important was the will within to choose the right path, no matter how difficult could it be; and to not judge someone by their appearance. That is why, when Hisana passed away, with all his will, he tried to find Rukia. Hisana deserved that, she deserved to have her little sister safe, under Byakuya's protection. No matter how difficult it was to surpass all the laws and rules, he put all his strength in his will and persisted until he fulfilled Hisana's last wish.

After that dark incident, Byakuya thought he would never find someone again, that would attract his admiration. That until he met, the third person – and only man – he truly admired. His reckless fukutaicho, Abarai Renji.

The moment he saw him, when he told Rukia that he wanted to adopt her in his family, the noble thought he was a simple mindless boy that emitted a primal energy, not very different than an animal or a plant. But when, he met Renji the second time, he realized that the redhead was more than a primal being. At the time, it was odd that Aizen-taicho dismissed one of his members, transferring him to the 11th Division, giving as the reason that he was  _unsuited_  for the 5th Division. Byakuya, knowing that the 5th Squad was quite indiscriminate about shinigamis, was intrigued as to why Aizen would make such decision, until he saw that the member was Abarai.

The redhead seemed particularly calm, and putting aside his clumsiness, he tried hard to be polite. But when the chocolate/red eyes met Byakuya's eyes, the noble saw something that burnt inside him. Those eyes were filled with hatred, bloodlust, a desire to overpower him. Byakuya knew that Renji must hate him, for taking Rukia from him. But unlike those eyes expressed, Renji was extremely passive. He was determined, which no doubt put him in the right place under Kenpachi's Squad, but his actions lacked something. And that intrigued Byakuya.

Every time he saw the redhead he could feel the hatred, the audacious challenging glare, but only that, only a glare. Unlike other people that would glance at Byakuya with envious eyes, but would never do anything because they were afraid; Renji wasn't afraid. Byakuya could tell that. Renji wouldn't act, wouldn't formally challenge him, because he knew he was weak and stood no chance. He simply knew that it would be a waste to fight Byakuya when he was a simple stray dog.

But that cautiousness created a deep void in the redhead that Byakuya couldn't forget. Renji must have had a lot of trouble with his inner self, since he seemed to be the type that reacted upon his feelings. Having self-control was probably killing him inside. After all, a stray dog should always remain stray, or it will lose its essence.

Byakuya wanted to know more about that redhead. He wanted to know about his past, his childhood, what the name of his zanpakuto was and how it looked like, or why he was covering himself with tattoos. He knew he could ask Rukia anytime about Renji, but that would be unfair for her, since he was the one that separated them. However, sometimes, she would tell him memories of her childhood that involved Abarai, and Byakuya would listen quietly, and the more he listened the more he felt regret and confusion. From what he understood, Rukia and Renji took care of each other from years and years, they were family, a real family, and Byakuya had torn that family apart.

Eventually, tired of the uneasiness inside him, and that empty nuisance in the redhead, Byakuya decided to make Abarai his fukutaicho. He could remember Renji's piercing eyes, intensely watching him when he first met him under the fukutaicho position.

Byakuya intentionally made him his lieutenant, because he wanted to awake that miserable feeling inside Renji. It annoyed him, that Renji would obey his words, even when he was stricter to him than he was with others. No matter how much he provoked the redhead, nothing would ever happen. Maybe he was not direct enough? Maybe Abarai thought he was like this to everybody? Maybe the redhead's mind was so thick that he couldn't see that Byakuya was doing everything he could to trigger that restrained madness inside those eyes?

But the trigger was something he would never thought in using, and luckily or not, destiny used it for him. Rukia. When she was going to be executed, there was nothing Byakuya could do. He had bent every rule in the book to adopt her into the family, to make her a shinigami inside the Gotei 13. He couldn't do anything else. She disobeyed the one rule he could not protect her from - she gave her shinigami powers to a human.

Byakuya didn't care about the rudeness against him for allowing his sister being executed. He knew that rules existed for a reason, and like Hisana taught him, no one was above anyone else, so there were no exceptions to the law – that included him and his clan.

However, Renji broke the rules. Renji did everything he could to save Rukia. He was more her brother, than Byakuya ever was, and he proved that when they finally faced each other. But that day, in that fight, Renji wasn't the same. The challenge, the dare... was still in those eyes, but the hatred was gone. Inside those eyes was a new type of determination, and Byakuya could see Renji was sure he was ready. And they fought.

In the end of that battle, part of Byakuya's heart was crushed, because he realized that the man that lay on the floor covered in blood and his silk scarf was the most beautiful man he ever met. He didn't think of it in a physical way, but within Renji there was beautiful yet raw heart; he wasn't primal he was intuitive. He had been wrong about Renji; all this time he had been afraid of him, and that only made Byakuya sadder. And Byakuya admired Renji, because he taught him about that. That a man should always follow his instinct or he will never achieve happiness- a man should always confront his own fears.

Not that Byakuya was seeking happiness, but the noble found himself craving for some kind of fulfilment. Having a big house, a prestigious family or a high tittle meant nothing when everyday he returned home to an empty room, an empty bed. Byakuya could not appreciate his life, when all he felt was loneliness.

Regardless everything that happened, Byakuya found himself admiring Renji for different reasons. Reasons he tried to ignore, but eventually changed his mind. He was not sure since when he started to feel different about the redhead but, he admitted to himself that he was attracted to him, right after he noticed that Renji and Kurosaki Ichigo had become close, right after the three Taicho traitors escaped Soul Society.

Unlikely of him, he felt the urge to laugh when he recognized the old feeling of jealousy. For a long time in his life he didn't had such emotion, after all, he always had what he wanted, but now so many years after, he was jealous of a young man, a child – yes, because no matter how strong Kurosaki was, he was still a child compared to him.

Renji was far away from his reach, no matter how close he tried to keep him.

Byakuya was fighting for him, for his attention, even if it was in his own subtle way; he was trying to... court Renji. Although, he knew it wasn't the right way to do these types of romantic ritual, but Byakuya didn't know how to socialize in a different way. He tried to remember how it had been with Hisana, but that time he was young and free-minded, he'd had the courage to confront his feelings even if he was turned down. Honestly, when did he become such an old man?

The nobleman watched from far, his fukutaicho with his friends, how he reacted and how they reacted. Even with other Taichos. Renji maintained the respect, but was also more casual when he spoke with Kyoraku or Ukitake, and they were also informal with him too. Why couldn't Byakuya do the same?

These thoughts struggled in his mind, because he tried to be less formal, he tried to make Renji attend the same events as him, he tried to make him do the same activities, but all in vain.

The reality was that every time Byakuya tried to do something that could possibly strengthened the bond between he and Renji, he blocked completely. His mind became blank and the only things that came out of his mouth were orders or malicious advises he didn't mean to say.

In short words, every time Byakuya tried to get closer to Renji, the longer the distance between them grew.

It was ironic how the Sexiest Shinigami alive, according to the Shinigami Female Association, was a lone wolf and wasn't brave enough to seduce the person he longed for. And it was strange that the only intimate contact he had with Renji was when he was passed out drunk.

It was an uncanny habit that the noble developed, every time he knew Renji was going out to drink with his friends. Generally, the 3rd and 9th Division fukutaichos would bring him practically unconscious to his house, and Byakuya would wait in the shadows of the 6th Division garden for the two men to leave. Then he would go the redhead's house and would take care of Renji. He would take off his dirty clothes, replacing them with a sleeping yukata. He would loosen that marvellous wild crimson hair, taking his time, feeling the locks as they slid through his thin fingers. He would sit by Renji's side, as the taller man slept deeply in his futon. And he would watch him sleep until the noble realized what he was doing was wrong and was, how Rukia would say,  _really creepy_. Still, he would come and repeat everything anyway as soon as he found out that Renji was going to go out and drink.

Byakuya knew that he had to change his way of being and act, to reach Renji. If the monkey couldn't reach the moon, then the monkey had to be fascinated by something else, something more approachable.

Byakuya was the one that had to adapt, not the other way around. So, when he heard that his fukutaicho had been wounded and was in a critical state in the mission he went, he felt the need to go to the human world and be by his side. Of course, as Zaraki mentioned, he also wanted to seek and destroy the Arrancar that caused all the trouble. Byakuya would be merciless against it.

But first, he had to check upon Renji. He trusted Hitsugaya's word that the redhead was being healed, but he needed to see it with his own eyes.

In front of him was a small house with the lights on inside. The sign on top of it, reading  _Urahara's Shop._  The front door was semi-opened and voices could be heard from the inside.

Byakuya gracefully walked to the door, and stepped aside to let Hisagi-fukutaicho enter first. After all, the 9th Division fukutaicho was the leader of this mission. Byakuya wouldn't dare to question that, his mind only wondered about Renji at the moment.

He slid the door and after Hisagi bowed his head gratefully and passed by him, he followed.

As they entered they were received by a young boy with crimson hair. His expressions resembled quite much Renji's. They had the same spark in their eyes. It was very intriguing.

The boy raised an eyebrow and yelled.

"Kisuke! The shinigami are here!" he leaned against one of the shelves nearby, glaring at them. Byakuya could understand that child must had some abilities, since he could see them and wasn't surprised or intimidated at all by them.

In seconds, the door across the room slid, and Urahara Kisuke appeared.

"Oh myyy..." The former Taicho sang with his signature smile, "Our guests arrived!" His smile softened as he turned to the boy, "Jinta, you can go back again if you want." Without any answer or time to spare, the boy dashed inside the house.

"Welcome to my humble residence. I'm sure you guys want me to spare formalities and check upon Renji first." The shop host spoke, signing them, to follow him inside the house. Byakuya was pleased that the other man's common sense wasn't gone.

The small door led to what it seemed the common room. Familiar faces were there.

"Shuuhei!" he heard the voice of the 10th Division fukutaicho. The woman was in her gigai in a purple dress that reached her knees. Unlike her usual self, Matsumoto had a melancholic look on her face.

"Rangiku-san, are you alright?" Hisagi-fukutaicho asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. But Renji..." Her voice cracked. Hisagi put down the metal cases and small boxes he was carrying, and patted the blonde's back reassuring her that everything was fine.

Byakuya's eyes moved around the room analysing it. In a corner was Kurosaki Ichigo, he was sitting next to the Quincy, which had what it seemed to be an IV attached to his arm. They were both surrounded by books, and Kurosaki seemed to be explaining to the other boy about something. The Quincy elbowed him discreetly and Kurosaki's attention turned to the nobleman.

"Byakuya!" Kurosaki Ichigo carefully stood up, which made Byakuya realize how close he was sitting to the other boy, and walked forward.

"Where's Rukia?" the shinigami substitute asked looking at the newcomers.

"Rukia will not come." Byakuya simply replied. He wasn't yet used to being called by his first name by someone he barely had contact with, especially someone so young.

"Oh." Kurosaki Ichigo seemed like he was about to ask something else, but Urahara cut him.

"I think it would be wiser for you to put on your gigais, and I'm sure you want to see Renji."

"Urahara-san, this is from the 12th Squad." Hisagi-fukutaicho said as he pointed to the metal cases he brought.

"I see. Then let's take those to my lab, Hisagi-san, and meanwhile I can give you your gigai. Ururu?" Urahara called, a young girl appeared, "Take Kuchiki-san and Kira-san to see Renji."

"Hai."

Byakuya felt surprised with himself for forgetting for a second about the blond fukutaicho that was with him. Kira's presence was barely existent. He glanced behind slightly and watched the smaller man looking the floor. Something was different, he seemed down. That reminded him...

"Kira-fukutaicho said he started to hear an abnormal sound when we arrived." Byakuya told Urahara. He wasn't sure why he said such a thing; it wasn't something relevant at all. The blond fukutaicho blushed.

"It's nothing serious, Kuchiki-taicho." Kira said.

"Hmm... interesting." Urahara said, "I will see about that." He exited he room, with Hisagi following him. Ururu, the girl smiled to Byakuya and walked through a small hall that led to several rooms. She stopped before a sliding door, which she slowly opened and then stepped aside.

Byakuya entered the room as he heard Kira behind him thanking the girl. Maybe he should have done the same thing, he thought, but his mind stopped thinking when he saw Renji lying on the floor in a futon. He was covered by a yellow shield that was under the control of Kurosaki's friend, Inoue Orihime. The girl seemed quite concentrated in what she was doing. Tessai was next to her, and the boy that Byakuya met before, Jinta, was sitting on the other side looking worried at Renji. Tessai noticed Byakuya.

"Kuchiki-sama." The big man greeted.

"How is he?" Byakuya stoic voice asked.

"Holding it. The poison is quite powerful. It attacks the cells like a virus, in an amazing speed. Orihime-san is trying to negate the cells affected, but the poison starts spreading again the moment she stops healing him. We can only hope that the poison will fade away soon." Tessai explained. Byakuya knew that this  _Arrancar_ 's ability was dangerous. The poison would affect every cell that they encounter and drain the reiatsu from them, not only that but even the reiryoku would be affected. Beside him, Kira spoke.

"Is there anything that can be done with healing kido?"

"We had to give him reiatsu transfusions in the beginning, but other than that, there isn't much that kido can do. The only thing I can do is stand here by Orihime-san and give her part of my reiatsu when she feels weak." Tessai replied.

"Thank you, Inoue-san. If you need I can help too." Kira-fukutaicho said with no hesitation. Byakuya stood there with his poker face on, but inside he could feel his mind in a turmoil. He forgot how close Abarai and Kira were. They were friends since the Academy, it was obvious that the blond was concerned with his friend, but Byakuya didn't completely like the blond offering himself to help. He was the one that should do that, right? He was his Taicho; there weren't any suspicious hidden interests in it, there was nothing bizarre about it. Then why couldn't Byakuya speak? Just speak... Speak! Byakuya could feel Senbonzakura, also encourage him to speak. It was only two words 'Me too.' Just that. It shouldn't be hard.

"M... Me..." His deep voice started to say, everybody in the room looked at him, interested. This could not happen, he was stuttering in front of others, this was so unlike him, his control slipping by his fingers. "Inform me if something changes."

Byakuya didn't give anyone time to respond, he immediately left the room. It was absurd how immature he was being. He only had to offer his help in courtesy, why couldn't he do that? He envied Kira for being able to expose his emotions so well, why couldn't he? He wasn't even in the Seireitei. He was in the human world, where everything was less controlled and serious, where formalities weren't taken so seriously. He wondered if Renji would find him pathetic for him to act like this, if he was conscious.

He walked back to the common room and saw that Hisagi-fukutaicho was already in his gigai. The only thing that differentiated him from his usual shinigami form was the lack of zanpakuto and the different clothing. Hisagi was wearing tight black pants and a T-shirt with a skull designed, and some western calligraphy that the noble wasn't able to read or understand.

Hisagi was kneeling next to Matsumoto, assembling some electronic devices that he didn't know what they were. Byakuya only recognized a laptop on top of the small coffee table. He only knew what that was because Renji explained to him about computers. Although, he didn't know how to use one, he knew what it was and what it did.

"Byakuya-san! Come get your gigai." Urahara spoke waving with a fan for Byakuya to follow him.

He followed him to what it seemed to be Urahara's laboratory. Byakuya highly disliked Urahara, not because of what happened in the past in Soul Society, but because Urahara was the exact opposite of him. He was extremely cunning in an uncomfortable manner. But entering that lab, made Byakuya remembering that, this man was once one of the Captains of the Gotei 13, and he was the one in the end that was able to seal Aizen.

"Before putting your gigai, I want to take a blood sample and some reiatsu too, if you don't mind." Urahara said as he reached the noble's gigai.

"Why?" Byakuya wasn't fond of the idea of giving the other man any of those things.

"I'm trying to find any thing in common with Yoruichi, Rangiku-san, Ishida-san and Renji. I'm taking samples from everybody in case you are also able to sense our enemy." Byakuya glared the man. Urahara smiled in a patronizing way. Byakuya detested it, but gave in. He didn't want to cause any harm in the blond's studies about the menace that almost killed Renji. He let the man take his samples.

"I'm also trying to find an antidote to that poison, but it's quite hard, since the poison seemed to only have effect inside the person. Every time I took a sample of the poison, either from Renji or Ishida-san, the poison instantaneously wore off. It seems to only work when it clings to cells or reishi." The man explained as he finished taking the blood off.

Byakuya glared at his gigai that was sitting on the floor, next to Kira's. His gigai was wearing light blue jeans – Renji taught him about jeans, which the redhead liked a lot, - and a white long sleeved shirt. At least his clothes didn't have macabre designs like Hisagi's. He couldn't control himself as he compared his clothes to Kira's gigai. The blond's faux body had a light blue T-shirt with a grey long sleeved sweatshirt underneath. He also had jeans but they were a darker blue. Byakuya preferred his own clothes.

He took of inside his shihakusho sleeve his ginkongan and his denreishinki, which was his only way to contact properly his division and family in Soul Society. He put on the gigai and it felt really different. The main change for him to be the absence of the kenseikan in his hair. He passed his hand through his hair and then put his items in his jean's pockets.

Urahara clapped his hands happy.

"I love shinigami wearing human clothing! It's so much fun!" The man smirked and turned around to exit the room, Byakuya followed him.

"Now, it's time for Kira-san!" he heard the other man saying.

Byakuya decided to stay silent. He was going to need a lot of patience while he was in the human world, and he didn't want to come as arrogant. He wanted Renji to see that he was able to be  _normal_ like him and his friends. He entered the living room again, and was surprised no one said anything about his  _human_  appearance. He was sure that Renji would comment about his clothes, though. That idea brought a reassuring feeling inside Byakuya. No matter how things were complex between them, he knew that Renji understood that the noble permitted him to be more comfortable in his presence that he would allow others.

Byakuya wasn't sure what to do now, he could go see Renji again but he didn't want to be a burden to Inoue's concentration. Also he still felt uneasy about his own attitude before... He saw Kira following Urahara to his lab... Alright, he should go see Renji. There's nothing wrong to want to stay by his side. When he was about to walk, something grabbed him by his back without him noticing. He strangely cursed in his mind for letting his guard down.

"Look who's here! Byakuya-bou!" the voice came from the (un)expected Yoruichi.

"What do you think you are doing, Shihoin?" Byakuya said as he free himself from the woman.

"Oh you looked so thoughtful and defenceless, just like when you were a little kid. I couldn't resist!" She replied, smirking evilly.

"This is not the time to be amused." The noble said, serious. Yoruichi's playful evil smirk morphed into a compassionate one.

"I know, but laughing is the only thing we are able to do so far. Especially under the circumstances."

"Indeed. I do not understand why you did not fight the Arrancar when it attacked Abarai." Byakuya interrogated. Yoruichi sighed and sat lazily on the floor far from the others. Byakuya joined her, sitting on his legs politely.

"We were patrolling the town in small groups. I was in the east side of the town, Matsumoto was on west. Uryuu stayed here because he's still weak. And Abarai was on south. We led the groups separately to be easier to find the Arrancar. Abarai was able to feel it shortly after he arrived, and Matsumoto only started to feel it when Abarai was attacked. We weren't fast enough. Hitsugaya was with him but didn't see anything..." She told. Byakuya stayed quite.

"I think this time Aizen is really ahead of us." She murmured.

"Aizen?" Byakuya asked surprised.

"Yeah, Aizen!" she raised an eyebrow. "Don't tell me the old man didn't tell you about that." She laughed and then stopped when she realized that Byakuya was serious about being ignorant about the matter. She frowned trying to put the pieces together.

"What does Aizen have to do with this?" Byakuya asked in a low voice. Something was odd from the very beginning of this mission. He felt insulted that he wasn't completely informed about the mission. Then again, maybe it was his fault; he distracted himself with Renji's injury. He had to be more cautious and aware of what he was doing; many mistakes had already been made.

"I knew something like this could happen. I bet not even the Central 46 know about this. That old man is playing with fire. Even if he can dominate it, the flames are tamed only for so long..." Yoruichi spoke. Byakuya watched carefully the woman.

"Are you saying that this mission is not official? "

"Yeah. Old man Yamamoto is playing with you like pawns." She chuckled, "Playing with us like always."

"Can you not be so cryptic?" Byakuya asked.

"Abarai... before he was unconscious he said-" her attention stopped as she saw Kira entering the room. Byakuya noticed the blond was already in his gigai, the blond blushed when he saw Yoruichi staring at him; he joined Hisagi and Matsumoto at the small table across them.

"Oh... I see..." she said smirking again. "Let me guess, blondie over there is the leader of the team."

"No. It is Hisagi-fukutaicho." The noble replied intrigued.

"Hmm... interesting." She said glaring Kira.

Byakuya was tired of the woman's remarks. He was staring to losing his patience.

"What is interesting?"

Yoruichi's eyes left the blond and turned to the noble. Slowly she leaned forward. She was too close to the noble, too close for his taste, trespassing his personal space in the most impolite way. Her face was inches from his, but he didn't move, she almost whispered.

"Before blacking out, Abarai said one name." She paused then moved to his ear and whispered even lower the name. Byakuya's eyes widen a little in surprise. This was something completely unexpected.

**0000000000**

Byakuya stayed by Renji's side as he slept. Orihime couldn't heal him anymore for the day, leaving to go home to rest. Tessai had created a kido shield surrounding the redhead, to help the poison slower its pace during the night. The big man was also absent from the room, resting. Only the small boy stayed there, by Renji's side, in front of Byakuya. In the same spot he was before.

The taicho didn't know a thing about the boy, but he could assume that he was somehow attached to Renji. He was really concerned.

The room was dark, only a small light coming from a lamp in the corner of the room gave enough light for them to be able to see. Byakuya looked around the room and noticed how disorganized it looked. There were clothes pilled on a corner, and magazines and books similar to Rukia's  _mangas_  spread in the floor nearby the walls, like someone tried to clean the room by pushing everything to small piles across the bottom of the wall. His eyes stopped at the closest item to him, a magazine with glasses on the cover. His hand stretched to pick it up. Indeed, it was a magazine about glasses -sunglasses. That's when he realized he must be in Renji's room. This little space was his chambers in the human world. Now it made sense, the familiar kind of mess.

The boy glared at him. Byakuya glared back. Jinta's eyes moved to the noble's hands where the magazine was.

"That belongs to freeloader-san."

' _Freeloader-san?'_

Byakuya assumed that it was Renji, who the boy was talking about. Byakuya's eyes went to the magazine. Renji loved glasses; he even once offered his taicho a pair of heart-shaped glasses once. Of course, Byakuya refused to wear them but he kept the glasses. He knew that despite the questionable taste, Renji's intentions were good. Byakuya was actually glad that day. Renji had thought about him.

The noble tried to ignore the murderous look Jinta was giving to him; it was just a kid he had nothing to worry about.

"Are you really his Captain?" Jinta asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Yes." Byakuya replied, and held inside the question 'Why do you ask?'

"You're different from what I expected. You're not that... daunting."

Byakuya stayed silent. He wasn't sure what to say, and frankly he didn't want to continue this... conversation. Being judged wasn't quite pleasant, and talking to a child was a waste of time.

The night passed slowly. Jinta had fallen asleep on the floor next to Renji a couple of hours ago. Byakuya simply stayed there the watching the man he loved, unconscious, fighting for his life.

The red mane was loosely tied and Byakuya felt the urge to untie it completely but the kido shield was impenetrable. Renji's features were peaceful like he was simply sleeping. His chest slowly rising and falling.

It wasn't like him at all, but part of Byakuya was scared. He was scared that something would happen to Renji and he wouldn't even be able to tell him about his feelings. Of course the redhead would be surprised that he was in love with him, he would probably feel embarrassed and would stuttered his with reply.

Byakuya knew Renji was bisexual; it was something he investigated before he became his fukutaicho. So, there was a chance that he would be accepted by Renji. He was confident with his looks - physically he was appealing, his only downfall was his personality. Just because he wasn't social enough, but Byakuya was confident that he could overcome that too, without losing himself too much.

The only issues about his feelings towards Renji were his family and the fact Seireitei didn't appreciate same sex relationships, but as long as he maintained his love and his  _future-relationship_  private, there shouldn't be any problem.

A small knock interrupted his thoughts. The door slid and Kurosaki Ichigo entered the room, closing the door behind him. The teenager looked at the small boy sleeping and smiled. He sat next to Byakuya watching Renji.

"Man, Renji is a mess." Kurosaki Ichigo said in a low voice.

"He is not. He is been through worse." Byakuya replied with his eyes closed.

"Yeah, but... This is kinda scary. Fighting something you can't see, it's just..."

"Tosen Kaname was one of the best Captains in the Gotei 13, and he was blind. There is times when sight can become a burden instead of assistance." Talking about Tosen remembered Byakuya what Yoruichi told him hours earlier, what Renji said before fainting.

"I know that, but it's scary not sensing the enemy. Knowing a friend is fighting against something and you can't do anything, because there is nothing there." Kurosaki Ichigo said, "When I was younger I used to think I was cursed for being able to see ghosts, I hated that part of me so bad... but now I hate the part of me that can't see this guy. How ironic is that."

Byakuya opened his eyes and looked at the strawberry blond next to him. Ichigo had some heavy dark circles under his eyes, he looked tired.

"You can leave." Byakuya spoke slowly. "You have your life, you don't have to stay here. We take care of everything."

Kurosaki Ichigo chuckled.

"I'm not here because of that. I know I'm pretty much useless, and there is nothing I can do for Renji or the Arrancar. I'm here because Ishida doesn't want to go to the hospital and he kinda... doesn't like you guys, so I'm here to give him moral support."

"I see." Byakuya replied. He didn't push the topic further. He didn't care if the Quincy liked him or not.

"But seriously, I thought Rukia was coming after hearing about Renji like this."

"Rukia does not know about Abarai. Nor will she." Byakuya spoke. He wouldn't let Rukia come and risk her life because of this Arrancar.

"Why? Isn't her right to know?"

"This is beyond having rights, we came to the decision it is best for her to not know about this." Byakuya spoke strongly. Kurosaki Ichigo was becoming intrusive and nosy.

"Un? Isn't that a little fucked up? I mean, I would be so pissed off, if someone hid from me that a friend of mine was almost dying."

"He is not dying." Byakuya replied instantly.

"I said almost dying."

"He is not dying!" Byakuya spoke louder than he usually did, his voice leaving a small echo inside the room. Jinta shifted in sleep but didn't wake up. Kurosaki watched Byakuya, carefully and slightly surprised but silent.

Byakuya felt ashamed of his own behaviour, but it didn't show through his face. The noble wondered why was he like this, why couldn't he control himself. Why did he just lose it, in front of Kurosaki Ichigo? The last person he wanted to see him losing control in the whole world. Byakuya would prefer to lose control in front of Soutaicho than in front of Kurosaki... Well, not really, because he wouldn't like to lose his self-control in front of anyone...

Byakuya didn't like to feel like this, like he was losing all he was because of whatever was happening in his mind.

"You know..." Kurosaki started looking back at Renji. "Before we went patrolling and he was attacked, I kinda had a fight with him."

"Fight?"

"Not really a fight, more like a small argument, but I was a bit... unfair with him, and then this happened... I feel bad because of the last things I said to him."

They both stayed silent the rest of the night, neither one of them had the need to say anything. Eventually Ichigo left to go home to change to his uniform, because he had school in a couple of hours.

Tessai arrived short after, and started to give Renji a routine reiatsu transfusion.

As Byakuya was leaving the room he almost bumped into someone.

"Kuchiki-taicho, I apologize. I was going to ask you if you want to come with us see the place where Renji was attacked, when Rangiku-san arrives." Hisagi-fukutaicho asked.

"Yes, I will go."

**0000000000**

The area where Renji was attacked was a supermarket's parking lot. There weren't any building damages, but the asphalt road had several holes, and some burning evidences of the cars that were damaged by Renji's bankai.

Byakuya looked around carefully. This was the place where the one he loved was hit. Where he almost died. Byakuya wondered how he would feel if Renji died. Would it be like it was with Hisana? That emptiness would come again? It was a saddening thought.

He saw not very far away, Matsumoto with Hisagi and Kira-fukutaicho. He could hear their voices.

"But Abarai-kun is really resilient, I'm sure he will be up in no time." He heard Kira say. Somehow something inside Byakuya snapped so slowly he barely noticed. A tinge of envy roamed inside him. He disliked that phrase in so many ways. From the  _Abarai-kun_  to the _I'm sure_ part. He detested that coming from the blond man. He should be the one telling those things. Not Kira, not anyone.

Byakuya tried to control his reiatsu as much as he could. Since he arrived in the human world he had been supressing it the whole time to not attract unwanted attention. But he was starting to get mentally tired of everything.

Renji was critically hurt; he was kept from vital information about the mission; this was probably all Aizen's and that person's doing; Kurosaki Ichigo was nosy; that boy Jinta looked funny at him; and Kira-fukutaicho was acting all friendly and lovely towards Renji and Renji's affairs.

Why wouldn't people act by the rules or at least have some courtesy towards him? Was really that hard to make sure that the highest ranked person in that mission had priority over everything? Even words? He was sure Kira-fukutaicho was also from a noble family, even if it was a low one, he still should know about etiquette. He should let Byakuya speak first about his concern towards Renji. Just after that he should show his sympathy. Not even the blond's friend seemed to enjoy what Kira said. Hisagi's body language clearly changed after Kira mentioned Renji. He even stepped aside from the blond...

How could Kira not see that? And this mission, it was probably Kira's fault. And Renji... was his friend... he always cared about the blond... always.

" _I'm gonna check on Kira."_

" _I'm gonna go to the Third Division, Taicho"_

" _Kira made this..."_

" _I was with Kira and Hisagi and..."_

Or Kurosaki...

" _Ichigo has a new power."_

" _Taicho, Ichigo and I sparred the other day and..."_

" _Ichigo"_

" _Kira"_

" _Ichigo"_

" _Hisagi"_

" _Rukia"_

" _Ichigo"_

" _Kira"_

" _Become like them..."_  Something whispered in his ear. Byakuya turned around startled. His hand moving instantly to his waist where Senbonzakura should be.

Nothing was there. No presence, no reiastsu, nothing. Byakuya's heart thumped hurtfully. He was definitely losing his mind. He had to calm himself.

"Kuchiki-taicho, are you ok?" Matsumoto asked. Byakuya turned around to face the three fukutaichos that were looking at him, "Your reiatsu..."

Byakuya noticed then, that indeed his reiatsu was higher than it was before. He supressed it again. He wondered if should ask Urahara to make his gigai hide his reiatsu, even if it was against Soul Society's rules.

No, he wouldn't do that, he didn't want to break said rules...

"I am fine. I am going to take a look around. Contact me if you need me." The noble said leaving the three fukutaichos. His heart was still racing as he walked through the sidewalk getting away from that parking lot. He didn't know where he would go, he just wanted to walk.

He had to put himself together, his thoughts in order. He went to the mission because he wanted to see Renji – Renji was receiving treatment, and it all depended of time now.

Only the redhead, the Shihoin minx, Matsumoto-fukutaicho and the Quincy could sense the Arrancar- So they shared a common element, but what?

Renji said a name before he lost consciousness, and it was a name that his fukutaicho wouldn't say randomly. The reason he said that name was unknown and was a mystery. Since that name didn't matter anymore, and according to what was explained after the war, it shouldn't be considered a bad or valid name. But if said name was mentioned by Renji, must be because either that person was there attacking or the Arrancar was sent by that person. Both ideas were impossible, unless of course this was all planned by Aizen. Maybe he had a side plan, in case he lost and was imprisoned, and had an arrancar hidden to help free him. This would be certainly a logical way of thinking. At least logical for Aizen. But this was only a theory.

Soul Society was hiding information from Byakuya, it would be impossible for him to understand things alone. He had to know more. He decided that he was going to have a serious talk with Urahara. That man knew everything, probably more than the others knew in Seireitei. He was going to get things straight.

Byakuya stopped walking when he noticed a familiar sight. A sakura tree in the middle of a small plaza, surrounded by boutiques and miscellaneous stores. The tree was enormous and in full bloom. It was an amazing view, something so beautiful and natural in the middle of a city. Byakuya walked towards a small bench underneath it and sat.

Many people passed by him, from children to old ladies, to couples. A particular couple caught his attention. It was a gay couple. One of the men was shorter and thinner than the other, with a few feminine tendencies, - from the hot pink skinny jeans to the way he pointed to the stores window displays in amazement, and the partner, who was by far manlier, smiled at him indulging his desires.

Byakuya imagined how it would look like if he and Renji were together. Not in Soul Society, but in the human world, would they be able to walk like that, holding hands so freely? Byakuya blushed at the idea.

Renji was an attractive guy; they sure would look good together. Then a certain thought came to his mind... Byakuya always saw himself as a tall man, but next to Renji... he would look just like the hot pink skinny jeans guy. Maybe he wouldn't look so... showy, but he would definitely look like the most fragile in the couple, which meant he would look like the uke. The noble frowned, with his previous blush coming back stronger.

As any other man in the world he had thought about sex. He fantasized many times about having sex with Renji, but he never thought about Renji being the dominator, and frankly he didn't like that at all. Byakuya had never been with a man before, and just the fact he was considering having sex with Renji was already something quite bold coming from him, but Renji was probably a seme, with his body built there were no doubts.

Maybe Byakuya and Renji wouldn't look so well together, at least not so obviously gay. Two tall guys... If it was with Kira-fukutaicho, it would be different. He would definitely be Renji's uke... Wait... Why was Byakuya thinking about Kira-fukutaicho? The blond didn't do anything wrong. He was always kind, helpful and obliging. And he had been friends with Renji for a long time. He was also a good shinigami within the Gotei 13. So why was he so jealous? Byakuya just wanted for Renji to treat him normally, to give him chance to be normal. He didn't have any reasons to be jealous...

In front of him he noticed something. A child that was in the middle of the plaza. It was an elementary school boy, with a small chain in his chest. He looked around everywhere like he was lost. Byakuya searched his soul candy in his pocket and swallowed the small pill, leaving his gigai behind.

"Stay here." he ordered the artificial soul, which nodded in response.

Byakuya walked till he reached the small boy. The boy looked at him when he noticed he was being watched.

"Oji-san, can you see me?" the boy asked scared.

"Yes, I can see you." Byakuya kneeled down. It was such a small boy, it was a sad thing he was dead. "I am a shinigami; I will send you to a place called Soul Society. There you will be able to have a new life with others, like us."

The boy suddenly jumped and hugged Byakuya. The noble stiffened in surprise, he didn't know what to do, this wasn't something common for him. He wasn't good with children and wasn't good with hugs.

"Thank you, Oji-san!" the boy smiled with teary eyes. Byakuya slightly smiled in return. Slowly he grabbed Senbonzakura and with its hilt, Byakuya tapped on the boy's head.

"Goodbye, Oji-san!" the boy said disappearing.

"Farewell." Byakuya spoke. He stood there kneeling for a few minutes. World was an unfair place, where even children died. Well, any world was an unfair place. Even Soul Society was hard to live in. If luckily that child would born in one of the family's before Rukon District 40, if unlucky he would live in misery; but maybe he would be happier to be born in misery but be with someone that would love him...so many paths possible; but again life was unfair and so was love.

"Only he can decide his own fate." Byakuya spoke.

That is why Byakuya decided that moment to stop being jealous over nothing, to stop being afraid of the way he acted or the things he said. He wasn't going to give up before trying. He was going to fight for Renji's heart; he was going to make Renji see that he fought for him. He wasn't going to disappoint the ones that taught him how to live. Shihoin, his grandfather, Hisana... He was going to live on, and do everything in his power to make the monkey reach him.

' _The stray dog and the lone wolf...'_

Byakuya smirked as he walked to his gigai.

' _That would make a good couple.'_  He thought.

**0000000000**

**?**

"That one looks powerful." One of the voices said.

"Are you scared?" a deep voice replied.

"Of course not, but he looks like a great candidate. Master is gonna be pleased."

"How many there's left?" he counted with his finger, "We're still missing two, no. One."

"No. I saw something interesting... We have them all."

The deep voice laughed loud.

"Let's go tell Master, then."

"Not yet, first let's play with them a little." The softer voice spoke as the sakura petals blown by the wind fell from its' tree, and flew nearby them.

**To be continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter had a lot of hints why only a few can sense the enemy. Have you figured it out yet? =)
> 
> We are so close to the romance I can smell it^^


	8. Selfishness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and comments.:)
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter. Small Kira lime.

Chapter 7 –  _ **Selfishness**_

**Kira**

"Kira-san, come with me!" Urahara asked.

Both men entered a laboratory that belonged to the oldest. Kira following him, until they reached the farthest wall where the gigai was.

"I have to take a sample from your reiatsu and blood, if you don't mind. It's for precautionary measures." Urahara said.

"Sure." Kira sat down on the stool that was pointed to him.

"So," the former taicho started as he prepared Kira's arm, "The noise you started to hear..."

"Oh, that's nothing to worry about. It's just a small metallic noise... but it's very small, I almost can't hear it now." Kira explained.

"Did you start to hear it right after stepping out the senkaimon?"

Kira flinched a bit at the sting of the needle piercing his arm.

"Yes."

"Did you start to feel anything else? A presence or a different reiatsu?"

"No. Do you think the sound may be from the enemy?" Kira asked concerned. Urahara stood silent for a while.

"Maybe, but probably it's just a side effect of the travelling through the Senkaimon. If that is the case it should fade away soon." Urahara continued, "Even so, it's best for you to put the gigai on and just in an extreme case, you take it off."

After the samples were taken, Kira tried his gigai, and was surprised.

"Oh, the sound faded away."

"Good! That means it was nothing serious." The older man smiled. They were walking away from the lab.

"Kira-san."

"Yes?" Kira turned to face Urahara.

"If anything happens, report to me before the others." He spoke serious.

"Excuse me?" Kira tried to understand what the other man asked him, "I apologize, but I'm under the orders of Soutaicho, and he nominated Hisagi-san as the leader of this mission, so anything that happens he will be the first one to know, if not the only one." His voice was firm and cold.

Kira didn't like it when people judged him as the rat of the group. The blond fukutaicho could be insecure and second-guess himself and his feelings regularly, but never his work and missions. He had proved that in the worst way with the whole Ichimaru incident, but no one could condemn him for following orders. It was his nature to follow, and to do the work that was asked of him, and no one could change that. That was the message he was sending to Urahara with his glare. He was sure the shop keeper understood.

"Of course! I meant no disrespect. I was just saying that if you find yourself in a delicate situation, you can come to me." Urahara smiled and with his fan closed he waved, exiting the lab, "I'm going to ask Ururu to make some tea. Do you like tea, Kira-san? You seem like a tea person."

**0000000000**

The state of Abarai Renji was bad, and Kira knew about it. The poison that was travelling in his body was severe enough to end his life in a few hours; if it wasn't for Orihime, that is what would have happened. Being a kido expert, Kira was concerned to the point of being scared of the menace that held this ability. Not even healing kido could do something; this was certainly proof enough that they were dealing with someone very dangerous.

It was an uneasy feeling.

Kira could tell that everyone else also felt the same. Matsumoto's voice would tremble every time she spoke about Renji; Hisagi stayed silent hearing his name; and Kuchiki-taicho barely left the redhead's side.

Despite the number of people in the house, only a few hours after they arrived the house was quite quiet. Most of the people went to sleep or to their own home.

Kira stayed with Hisagi in the living room; the brunet silently working with what he had briefly explained to be a super detector and an ultra-sensitive spiritual pressure sensor that Akon instructed him to install.

Hisagi's silence was saddening. Kira still didn't know why the brunet was so distant, and he couldn't stop replaying in his mind when Hisagi jolted when he touched his shoulder. Maybe Hisagi thought he was disgusting. He must have done something horrible when he was drunk, and now his bond with Hisagi was probably damaged. Kira felt like crying.

Sitting on the floor with his legs bent next to his chest, chin resting on his knees, he tried not to stare at the other man.

Hisagi was looking so handsome. The tight black jeans did his long legs so much justice. When he bent, Kira saw a spiked belt holding the jeans, the same type of spikes that were around his neck in a choker that was very similar to the one he used to wear in the Academy days.

Overall, Hisagi looked so peculiar, yet so alike him. Even the big skull t-shirt looked cool on him. Kira felt his cheeks getting warm, thinking about it. Hisagi wearing human clothes was pretty damn hot.

Self-conscious, Kira curled more, embracing his legs with his arms. Compared to his love, he was so dull-looking. He looked so misplaced with that blue shirt, and those pants looked weird on him. His butt and legs didn't fill them as nicely as Hisagi's did. Frowning he looked at his feet... and why the hell was he wearing colourful stripped socks? It was so... girlie and childish. Kira tried to hide his feet putting one on top of the other and let the bottom of the pants cover them as much as they could, unsuccessfully, since the pants were somewhat tight in the bottom. He missed his hakama, which he could use without troubling himself and readjusting them every five minutes. Kira wondered who dressed up his gigai... He didn't own any human clothes, so he could only guess that it was someone from the 12th Squad or something.

Frustrated, his gaze moved to the corner of the room where Kurosaki Ichigo and Ishida Uryuu were. From what he understood, by their previous conversation, the two boys were doing homework. It seemed Kurosaki had brought over the lessons and work that the Quincy missed at school, due to his injuries. The sight of Kurosaki explaining things to Ishida reminded Kira of the old Academy days, when he and Hinamori tried to explain things to Abarai, when the redhead hadn't understood what was taught in class.

The two boys worked hard until the Quincy went to rest and Kurosaki disappeared somewhere, leaving Kira and Hisagi alone.

The blond fukutaicho was afraid to say anything. Hisagi was mad at him, and he was scared to make things worse. They stayed silent for hours.

Remembering what Akon said, Kira wanted to ask Hisagi what he thought about all this being part of Aizen's plans. He wanted to talk about it; he wanted to hear Hisagi say that he shouldn't be troubled and that this had nothing to do with Gin or Tousen, but the moment he tried to speak about it, Hisagi talked to him for the first time since they entered that house.

"In the morning when Rangiku-san arrives, we'll go install these and explore the town."

Kira could only nod in return, hiding his sad eyes behind his blond bang.

**0000000000**

Matsumoto sighed discontentedly for the fifth time in the past hour, claiming she was tired and wanted to sit somewhere. The place they were in had nowhere to rest though, and that plus the heat was making the usual cheerful woman extremely moody.

Hisagi took some time installing the devices following the instructions Akon gave him, which Kira noticed didn't help at all.

Kuchiki-taicho was wandering around the parking lot alone relatively far from them.

"I'm so tired. I barely slept last night." Matsumoto said, grabbing Kira's attention.

"Weren't you at Inoue-san's place?" he asked.

"Yes, but it doesn't have to do with that. Her house is very comfortable, more comfortable than Urahara's shop for sure. It's just what Renji said-"

"Are you sure it's safe for you to be there?" Hisagi cut her abruptly, "I mean you can sense the Arrancar, there's a chance that it may go after you."

Damn... Hisagi's concern for Matsumoto was even more painful than before. Kira closed his mouth tightly to be able to control his facial muscles that were threatening to make his pain visible.

Hisagi finished installing the sensors and joined the two other fukutaichos. Matsumoto smiled and replied, "It's dangerous everywhere. But I'm not alone - Orihime is with me and Chad is staying with us, even if that makes me feel like I'm between them..." She sighed once again, "Also, it's better if we are scattered, in case the Arrancar appears in other parts of the town; and don't worry I'm not stupid to confront it alone."

"But, Rangiku-san," Hisagi said coming closer, right next to Kira, "You know you should be more careful, right? Considering..."

There was a moment of silence between them, and Kira couldn't help but frown a little, this talk was getting weird.

"Don't worry Shuuhei, everything is fine." She smiled, "On the other hand, I feel bad for Renji... That day when I arrived, he was on the floor collapsed. Taicho was grabbing him and screaming something at me, but I couldn't tell what it was. I just felt this... presence. It was so dark, the reiatsu was so... strange, and it made me feel... dirty."

"Dirty?" Hisagi asked.

"I know it sounds really weird, but it was very scary. Then, in a second it was gone. And Renji was bleeding, but it didn't seem serious, but Taicho kept yelling and I realized he was saying for me to call for help." She paused briefly, "I called the others to come quick then... Renji said it."

"Said what?" Kira asked. He felt Hisagi stiffened beside him and he noticed the brunet shaking discreetly his head signing Matsumoto to not say "it". Kira pretended not to notice it. He felt his heart hurting more than it ever did. He felt like he had to get out of that place, and be alone, because he was not going to be able to hold his pain inside much longer.

"He said something I didn't understand." The woman clearly lied, "Then he lost consciousness and so far he gave us a couple of scares..."

Kira felt awkward, he had to say something to pretend he didn't understood they were hiding something from him. How bizarre it would be if Hisagi noticed he knew he was being lied to?

"But Abarai-kun is really resilient, I'm sure he will be up in no time." Kira said trying to  _comfort_ the woman. Hisagi moved away from him walking somewhere around.

"Yeah, you're right." Matsumoto said smiling.

The blond tried to look as normal as he could, and not show his true feelings. Hisagi was hiding something from him, something that even Matsumoto knew. Why? Did Hisagi think he was not trustworthy? Somehow the old feel of being betrayal sank within him. He didn't push the conversation further, because he didn't want to make things worse with the brunet, and he wanted to see how far things would go. How far his relationship with Hisagi was damaged. How far he was not trusted.

His ears started to ring, the small noise he heard before, was back. His hand reached his left ear and he muffled the sounds, but the sound continued there. After all it wasn't because of the Senkaimon. Maybe it was the Arrancar? Should he tell someone now about it? He started to feel hot, sweat forming in his back.

Maybe he shouldn't; it was just a small noise, nothing more, and Hisagi was keeping things from him, why should he tell him about the noise? To make Hisagi avoid him even more?

Suddenly, Kuchiki-taicho's reiatsu flared. The three fukutaichos looked at the noble that was distracted with something.

"Kuchiki-taicho, are you ok?" Matsumoto asked. "Your reiatsu..."

"I am fine. I am going to take a look around. Contact me if you need me." The Taicho said and left right away.

"That was odd." Matsumoto said.

Kira watched the noble walking far away. He wondered if Kuchiki-Taicho also heard something weird.

**0000000000**

They returned to Urahara's in the middle of the afternoon. They escorted Matsumoto to the Karakura High School where she met with Orihime and Chad, and the two men returned with Kurosaki.

Once they arrived, Urahara greeted them with a huge smile.

"I have good news!" the former taicho waved his hand for them to follow him; they went to Renji's room, where the redhead still slept. Kuchiki-taicho was already there.

"The poison stopped, and there is no trace of it in his system. Now it's only a matter of time for him to wake up." The man explained.

Kira was relieved. Finally a good thing was happening. He had so many things accumulating inside him that he wouldn't be able to endure one more piece of bad news.

The house was extremely hot, and Kira's bangs were gluing to his sticky sweaty face.

"I was wondering..." Urahara started to say, "Where do you intend to stay while here in the human world?"

The three men looked at him raising an eyebrow. The first one to speak was Kuchiki-taicho.

"I intend to stay where Abarai-fukutaicho is."

"Very well, I think we can manage that, although you'll have to share the space with him. I hope a noble like yourself won't find that too unpleasant." Urahara said in a condescending tone. "What about you two?"

Kira didn't know what to say, where was he going to stay? He hadn't realize he would have to find somewhere to go.

"Can't we stay here too?" Kira asked the other man. Urahara's face was unreadable as he watched him and Hisagi, but soon his features transformed into a  _questionable_  smirk.

"Sure, but I will warn you this house is small, and you may feel a bit cramped."

Kira doubted the house was small. It looked smaller on the outside, but inside it had many rooms, and it also had Urahara's lab which was fairly big, and to not forget that underground training area.

However, Kira felt like he was being mocked when Urahara showed him where he and Hisagi would sleep. It was a small place, so small, that Kira knew that was some kind of storage room, around 3 meters long and wide. It had a small window that provided a bit of light, but not enough air to breath. Kira knew he wasn't going to be able to deal with the hot weather in that tiny place.

And if things couldn't get any worse...

"Oh my, it seems I only have one more futon available..." Urahara said.

Kira felt his cheeks burn, was he going to share the futon with Hisagi? That would be wonderful if the other man wasn't avoiding contact of any kind with him.

"We need to make surveillance shifts. I would advise you to rest now, so you can do the night shifts, while myself and Yoruichi do the day ones." Urahara said. Kira wanted to ask if he could take a shower, but he realized two things. First he didn't have spare clothes and second that Hisagi had started speaking while he hadn't been paying attention.

"...not tired. I have a few things I still want to do. Kira, you rest now." Hisagi ordered without looking at him. Both Urahara and Hisagi left before he could say anything, closing the door behind them.

Kira stared at the door for a bit. Of course, Hisagi wouldn't want to be in that tiny room with him. Kira bit his lower lip as he felt his head aching and tears welling up. He went to the window and opened it, but closed the curtains that made the room darker. He blinked to stop his tears from falling. He couldn't cry, not when people where just outside that small room.

He laid down the futon on the tatami floor, which was larger than a single person one, but smaller than a double-person futon. Hisagi may not want to sleep there with him, but Kira felt mentally tired. Maybe a good nap would make him feel better. He took off his shirt and sweatshirt, that then the jeans, leaving himself in his boxers. It was really different from a fundoshi, everything felt... freer.

Kira really wished for a bath, but he was so tired. He would take a bath after the nap.

He laid down and looked at the ceiling. He had to do find new clothes; he had to ask Matsumoto to help him.

Matsumoto...

What had she been going to say, that Hisagi didn't want him to know...

**0000000000**

" _Izuru why are you cryin'?_

" _... Ain't I supposed to know that?_

" _Guess it was your li'l dirty secret, un?_

" _... But you know, it's not right for a guy like ya to like other guys..._

" _... Maybe I should tell him, I wonder if he'll be disgusted with ya..."_

"PLEASE DON'T!" Kira sat up startled. His hands covered his mouth as he heavily breathed. His arms were trembling and he could feel drops of sweat sliding down his back. It was just a dream, yet it felt so real. He couldn't stop shivering; he wanted to cry so badly. His hands moved to his eyes were he rubbed them stopping the image of the man that appeared in his nightmare. He slid both hands through his hair, pulling it all back. It was so hot, but he wasn't sure if he was sweating because of the heat or because of the nightmare. His ears still heard that irritating buzzing sound.

The room still had some light coming from outside that was filtered by the curtain and Kira suddenly looked at his side noticing he wasn't alone.

Hisagi was lying down next to his futon, on top of a thick blanket. The blond couldn't help but notice that the brunet didn't want to share the futon with him. Well, it was hot, so it would be uncomfortable for two people sleeping in the same futon, especially a small futon. But it's not like they never slept in the same bed before, even in an individual bed.

Hisagi was at his side with his arm underneath his own head serving as a pillow, and he was looking at Kira.

The blond felt his cheeks heating because he was a complete mess, and was probably looking really bad and pathetic.

"Are you ok?" Hisagi's voice startled him. He was really embarrassed of his attitude, it was just a...

"...dream. I'm ok." Kira said not looking at the others eyes, only then he realized that the other man, like him, was sleeping only in his boxers, and unlike Kira's boxers which were loose, Hisagi's were boxer briefs, so they were quite tight. Getting red for now, a different reason, Kira started to panic. He covered his body till his waist with the blanket, hiding his awakening erection. His mouth felt dry.

"I need to get some water." He murmured, looking at the opposite side searching for his clothes, he needed to get out of that room.

"Here." He heard behind him. He turned around his face and saw Hisagi holding a long bottle of water. That caught him by surprise. He gratefully accepted and drank from it, his hands shaking while he held the bottle. Hisagi stared at him the whole time, making him feel even more self-conscious. He returned the bottle, and Hisagi also took a sip.

' _Indirect kiss.'_

Kira childishly thought. He laid down once again, feeling a little more calm, - apart from is lower region that was still quite excited – he breathed deeply looking at the ceiling.

"It was just a nightmare." Hisagi stated.

"I know, but when I have nightmares it means something bad will happen." Kira replied without looking at him.

"I won't let anything bad happen." Hisagi said, "Relax and sleep."

Kira looked at him surprised and then turned around, his back facing Hisagi. It was nice that the other man was still kind to him, now he wasn't even able to stop a tear flowing.

"Thank you, Hisagi-san."

"It's fine."

Without him noticing, Hisagi warmly smiled.

Kira felt asleep right away shortly after.

"Wake up, Kira!" Kira startled once again. It looked like he had just fallen asleep, but the room was dark, showing that it was already night outside. Hisagi was awake and was half-dressed with his black jeans on; he was searching something in what it seemed to be a bag, one of the bags he brought from Soul Society. The smell of shampoo travelled through the room.

Kira got up and turned the lights on. Hisagi looked at him, his hair wet.

"I want to shower too."

"Go ahead, the guests' bathroom is right in front. Urahara-san said we could use it."

Kira nodded and started to put his jeans on, just for the case someone was in the hall wouldn't see a half-naked blond. Kira watched as Hisagi dressed in a new t-shirt. That reminded him, his issue.

"I don't have clean clothes." Kira spoke without noticing he said it out loud.

"Didn't brought anything?" Hisagi asked making the blond feel really stupid.

"No... I didn't know I needed clothes for my gigai. I generally in missions don't even wear a gigai."

"Hmm..." Hisagi searched his bag once again, and then threw a few clothing items to him.

"I think that may fit you. I don't have many pants though."

"It's ok, I can wear mine." Kira said dressing his old blue shirt, "Thank you."

"You need to get some human world clothes while we are here."

"I know..." the blond said, folding the futon. He tried really hard to hide his smile. Then when he was about to leave...

"By the way, I used Abarai's shampoo. I think he won't mind us using it." Hisagi said.

"Yeah right, you just want me to be your partner in crime, so Abarai-kun won't be mad only at you for using his shampoo." Kira said. He saw Hisagi laughing as he left and entered the bathroom right in front of him.

Kira grinned. Hisagi was laughing and talking to him normally. Maybe before, he was just having a bad day, and wasn't mad at Kira at all.

Stripping from his clothes and turning on the shower he entered the tub. God, how good it felt the warm water in his head and skin, cleaning every bit of sweat from him. He looked around searching for Renji's shampoo, and wasn't that hard to find when a red bottle had written  _Shampoo_ _for Redheads, Silky & Smooth._

"With the extract of wild fruits to revitalize and give extra shine to long and dry hair." Kira read. Well, it wasn't exactly for his hair type but it was better than nothing. He opened the bottle and put a little bit of shampoo in his hand, the thick liquid was as red as the bottle itself, and Kira wondered if his own hair would be tinted with it. Horrified with the idea of having crimson red, he tried a bit on the tips of his hair, but soon the red shampoo turned into white bubbles. Gladly he washed his hair and body with the red shampoo.

While at it, he decided that he was going to be more assertive in the mission, and that he was going to find out what Renji said that Matsumoto and Hisagi didn't want him to know.

He also decided that he should be more analytical, and help more. He had been there in the human world for a whole day, and felt like he didn't do anything. Secretly, Kira also wanted to deal with the Arrancar, maybe he could avenge Renji. How amazing would that be? For the Third Division fukutaicho to be able to defeat the Arrancar that even three Captains couldn't do it. His squad would be pretty proud of him; he could imagine his men's faces proud that their current leader was so powerful. Kira wondered if Hisagi would be proud of him too. Would he say "good job!"? "You were wonderful"? Would Hisagi see him as more than  _the innocent_  Kira? Would he think Kira looked manly?

Hisagi always took care of him, and he was conscious that he also helped the brunet several times, but he wished he could also take care of Hisagi more often. Like every time Hisagi had a bad date and went to his house... That feeling was amazing; it fulfilled Kira entirely, to be part of Shuuhei's life.

Hisagi was so marvellous. His kind personality, his beautiful smile, his statuesque body, everything about him was perfect. Kira remembered the tight briefs, low enough that a small trail of black hair could be seen, and the V-shaped hips that led to... Kira closed his eyes, the water rinsing his body. The warm water flowing in his skin, passing by his legs and manhood, teasing the sensitive flesh. He reached his member with his right hand and slowly started to stroke it. It wasn't right to do such a thing in someone else's house, but Kira knew that if he didn't do it, it would become worse and it would distract him the rest of the day.

He concentrated in the image of Hisagi lying down. The long legs entangled with the blanket, the dark eyes looking at him... He imagined the other man _, with his hair wet_  just like before,  _with him in that shower_ , instead of his hand, it was  _Hisagi's hand stroking him up and down. The tall man whispering his name in his ear. The tanned skin in front of him, bared of any clothes, just an aching long hard on, in front of him, begging to be touched, to be kissed..._  Kira's left hand reached his own mouth and he started to suck two fingers.  _Hisagi's big cock, so hard in his mouth, he sucked it fervently, his tongue licking everywhere it could, not leaving any place left to be tasted._ Kira moaned as he started to thrust into his own hand.  _Hisagi's free hand grabbing his hair as he moaned in pleasure. 'Kira...' His other hand grabbing his cock with a heavier grip, moving in the perfect pace, in the perfect way..._

"Hisagi-san..." Kira whispered softly moaning, and for a few seconds he forgot to breathe, as he climaxed into his hand. His breath returned and he opened his eyes.

Fantasizing about Hisagi was wrong, he knew it. His friend would never forgive him if he knew he was the object of Kira's sexual desires, but the blond gave himself that small luxury. If he couldn't have the real man, than at least in his mind he owned the brunet. It was a selfish thought, but it was the only thing he had.

Kira finished taking the shower and made sure that there weren't any evidence of his... previous activities. He dressed with the clothes the other man gave him - some similar boxer briefs that fit him, some black socks, his own pants and a black wife-beater. After dressing this last item, Kira felt extremely self-conscious looking at the mirror. He was too thin to wear Hisagi's clothes, and he felt like he was... a bit naked with his skinny white arms showing like that.

He left the bathroom and noticed that Hisagi wasn't in the room anymore. He walked through the small hall and reached the living room where no one was. He followed the sound of voices coming from a nearby door that was semi-opened. It was Hisagi's voice, and the door led to a small kitchen.

Hisagi was talking to Ururu that was sitting in the kitchen chair drinking a glass of milk in her pyjamas. Hisagi was also drinking something from a cup leaning in the counter.

"Oh Kira, Ururu-chan made us some pastries," He said pointing at a plate on top of the table, "You have to try it, they're freakin' amazing!"

Ururu blushed, and murmured a 'thank you' before sipping from her glass.

"Thank you for making them, they look delicious." Kira stated

"They are! Reminds me of that old lady's shop in Rukongai that we used to go. Best pastries in Soul Society." Hisagi said, "I think you have real talent." He said smiling to the girl.

"Oh, it's just some cakes," she humbly replied, "Jinta says I add too much sugar, and that's why they don't sell well here in the shop."

"No way! Trust me, I used to cook and bake, when I had the time and money for it... but anyway... They're perfect the way they are."

"And there is no thing as too much sugar." Kira added making the girl smiling, he grabbed one of the small pastries that had some kind of white powder on top, and took a bite as he sat in a chair around the tale. "Wow, this is really good!" It was indeed good, and it didn't had too much sugar, he though Hisagi was just charming the little girl, but it was true, those pastries were amazing.

"Thank you." The girl repeated shyly.

"Do you want coffee?" Hisagi asked him, raising his cup.

"Y-yes." The brunet had told him about coffee a million times but he had never actually tasted coffee in his entirely life. It had a nice scent though, and generally good scent meant good taste, so why not give it a try?

Hisagi filled a cup with coffee and gave it to him.

"Maybe you should add some sugar."

"It's ok, thank you." Kira accepted the hot cup and took a sip. And shall the gods of coffee be damned! Kira grimaced and barely managed not to spit out the dark drink.

"Oh God, this is awful."

Hisagi chuckled.

"I told you to put sugar in it."

"How can you drink this Hisagi-san?" Kira felt his eye tearing. How could someone poison himself with such a distasteful drink? Hisagi finished putting some sugar in the cup. And Kira noticed how close they were, the older man behind him, with his arms extended around Kira when he put the sugar in that evil drink.

"Try now."

Kira took a small sip, but he still didn't like it. Maybe coffee was like tea or sake, it was something that a person had to learn to like it. The same thing happened a few decades before when he tried the famous human world drink- beer.

"I can't..." Kira really wanted to take that taste from his mouth; like the strong smell, it also had a strong taste. Hisagi moved away with a disappointed look in his face. Kira felt bad, maybe he should have lied and tell that he liked the drink and take it down like a man. Hisagi was finally in a good mood with him, and now he was spoiling everything.

"M-maybe you should put milk..." the girly voice said. Kira looked at Ururu that was standing and coming to him with the milk package, and put some milk in the coffee. The dark drink turning light brown. Kira took a sip and he was surprised. It wasn't bad at all. It still had the taste of coffee, but not as bitter or strong.

"I like it this way." He smiled to the girl, "Thank you Ururu-chan."

The girl was bright red and she left as soon as she could, excusing herself that she had to go to bed. Hisagi sat on the table where the girl was before.

"I think you have a fan." He said. Kira raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"She was blushing bright red when you thanked her, and before you came we were talking just fine, she just started to be timid and stuttering when you arrived." Hisagi said taking one more pastry.

"She's just a kid."

"So? Kids don't have the right to have crushes?"

"I don't think it's a crush." Kira said. Who the hell would have a crush on him? If it was Hisagi-san, that he would believe.

"Then what is it?"

"Respect? She's timid because she doesn't know me. I'm someone that came to her house out of nowhere."

"So am I. And she's fine with me."

"Everyone is fine with you." Kira said without thinking.

"Really? How is that?" Hisagi said looking focused on him. Kira drank a bit from his cup and thought about his answer.

"Well... You have a friendly presence. At first, you look harsh and intimidating, however once you speak or smile you show that you are the opposite. You are warm even when it feels cold..." Kira blushed saying the last part. Hisagi grinned.

"Aren't you the same?"

"What?" Kira asked.

"Your eyes always look sad, but when you smile you look like the happiest person in the world." Hisagi said. Something inside Kira reacted to these words, not only because of the supposed compliment, but because the mood around them changed so much. It was scary but Kira didn't dislike it.

"I didn't know my smile was that great."

"It's not great, it's amazing." Kira eyes widen and for the first time in so many days he looked straight at the dark eyes, Hisagi continued, "Before...- everything you used to smile all the time."

Before everything? What, the betrayal? That was the most miserable phase of Kira's life.

"I... Before I didn't have time to smile, I had so much work, probably more than I have now..."

"I mean before going to Seireitei. Before becoming a shinigami."

"Oh." Ok, those times... Yes, Kira could remember being happy at that time. Mainly because that's when he met Hisagi and that was when they were together all the time and Kira wasn't so afraid of being himself.

This conversation was dangerous; it was going to the path Kira didn't want it to go. Once, a few days after the Taicho betrayal, Hisagi asked him why he changed so much after becoming a shinigami, and Kira just replied,  _"Maybe in the future I'll tell you"._  He didn't had any intentions of telling him, but at the time it was the only thing he could think of that would make Hisagi let the topic go without being upset. It was inevitable that someday Hisagi would want to talk about it again.

"How come talking about Ururu-chan having a supposed crush on me turned into a conversation about the Academy days?"

Hisagi chuckled at the _supposed_ part.

"You're so stubborn. You know... When I was even younger than her I had my first crush. That person meant the world to me, they made me the man I am today." He said.

"You were young! Was it really a crush or just admiration?" Kira didn't want to sound jealous, but he wasn't... ok, he was jealous... of Hisagi's childhood crush... _'That's how pathetic I am...'_

"Crush. I had my first wet dream because of that person."

Kira blushed. Noticing it, Hisagi teased him.

"What about you? When did you have your first wet dream?"

"I don't remember." Kira lied. The answer was simple – Academy days, the day after they were attacked by those hollows, with Hisagi.

"Liar. You're thinking about it right now, aren't you? After so many years you still remember it, pervert."

Kira frowned, but he knew Hisagi was teasing him.

"I don't know what you are talking about." Kira lied innocently on purpose.

"Yeah right, I can almost hear your thoughts."

This was scary. Kira frowned again and smirked with a false confidence.

"Is that so? Then what do you hear?" Kira stared at him; Hisagi raised his eyebrows and leaned forward, so they were face to face, about 30 cm apart.

"Let me observe you." His hand tucked the long blond bang behind the blond's ear. That act caught Kira by surprise, but his eyes stayed firmly looking at Hisagi's orbs. They stared at each other; it would be so easy for them to kiss in that position...

"I think..." Hisagi stared, "your first... wet dream... was... about..." Oh dear lord. Hisagi's voice was so sexy, the brunet tilted his head a bit "me!"

Kira was so mesmerized by those amazing eyes and that sexy voice that took him a little time to understand what the voice actually said. His eyes widen in shock.

"W-what?" Oh. My. God. It was impossible. It couldn't be. No way. No. No. NO! Hisagi knew it? He couldn't! Kira was panicking. Hisagi starred at him, and his smile faded away, he looked down.

"Relax, I'm kidding!" he smiled again. "Like you would ever dream about me, a guy." He joked, and Kira chuckled a bit of relief, but at the same time a wave of sorrow washed his heart. He should be happy right? Hisagi was only joking, so that meant his secret was safe, but lying was so painful too.

"Idiot." The blond said, making the older man laugh.  _'I'm the idiot.'_

"Yeah, I know." Hisagi said stretching his arms, "but you may have a wet dream about me, wearing my clothes like that."

"It looks so big in me."

"Nah. It's looks good on you." Kira bite his lip to not smile, "You even got fans!"

"Idiot."

Hisagi laughed even more.

**0000000000**

The night was hot. Even with his arms bare, Kira felt hot while he was sitting on the roof. Everything was calm. There were no signs of anything malicious in the air. Soul Society couldn't capture anything either. Kira asked himself if it wouldn't be easier to go directly to Hueco Mundo and go after the Arrancar. The 12th Division was supposed to have a base there, and there weren't any more dangerous opponents from Aizen's army, apart from this one that attacked Ishida and Renji.

Kira didn't want to whine but he wanted to go home. Hisagi's mood swings drained his energy, he felt like his control was slipping from him every time he spoke with the other fukutaicho.

Sometimes, he just wanted to scream, _I love you;_  other times he wanted to slap the other man for not liking him in return and keep teasing him for no reason.

It was so complicated, in one minute he felt like crying, in the next minute Hisagi would make him laugh, and then he wanted to cry again. Was he becoming crazy? Unohana-Taicho had told him to not keep things to himself, that was a self-destructive path, but he couldn't tell anyone about this. Even if his friends wouldn't judge about him being gay - which they would - no one would help him with Hisagi. Matsumoto would tell everyone; Renji would tease him and mock him; Hinamori had her own problems to deal with, and she would probably be one of those that disliked gays, like Aizen did; the relationship with his squad members was strictly professional; he wasn't that close with Iba or Ikkaku, and Yumichika was out of question for the same reason as Matsumoto; and then there was Hisagi, which of course, would be the last person to ever know about it. Kira felt lonely thinking about this. It's not like he longed to be popular, because he didn't, but he felt like he had no one. He could count with Hisagi for everything, but just this secret, his biggest secret he couldn't.

Gin knew it though, and even after everything that happened because of him knowing, the fukutaicho missed a little of having someone to talk to him about Hisagi. How awful was that? To miss the times when he suffered the most...

"Kira!"

The blond's attention turned to Hisagi that was on the floor looking at him.

"Abarai woke up."

Kira jumped the roof and ran inside the house after Hisagi. They both entered inside the bedroom and saw the redhead awake. Byakuya was beside him, and so were Urahara and Tessai.

The redhead looked at them.

"Jeez, even you guys are here." Renji's voice was groggy.

Kira and Hisagi smiled.

"You gave us quite a scare, Renji-san, I was afraid that you would leave this life without paying your debt." Urahara teased him.

"Debt? What... Ah never mind..." Renji said then looked at the other, "And you two? Also afraid I was gonna die 'cause I owe you something?"

"Don't be silly, Abarai-kun." Kira said softly.

"But you kinda owe us sake..." Hisagi said.

"Oh, yes, he does." Kira agreed with the other man thoughtfully, and then they both laughed.

"Bastards..." Renji murmured.

"It's quite surprising. We were expecting you to wake up only in a week." Urahara said.

We were? How come Urahara never told that? Kira frowned, then his eyes moved to Kuchiki-taicho that was sitting in a formal position, but his eyes were down, looking at Renji's hand that was a few centimetres away from him. Come to think about it, Kuchiki was really close to Renji, his hands were closed on top of his knees... his position was... no. No way. Kira was thinking too much. Even though that was a familiar position to him, that body language was almost the same as his own. It looked like he wanted to be near Renji, but he was controlling himself to not be that close. Kira knew that very well. But no... Kuchiki-taicho was the last person to ever become attracted to someone of his own sex. Maybe it was just the bond between Taicho and Fukutaicho. Kira didn't know what was a healthy relationship between both positions was like. So he was viewing things wrong.

"How are you feeling?" Hisagi asked kneeling down.

"Like crap. Sorry Taicho for my language."

"I think you have the right to say what you want, after what happened." Kuchiki-taicho replied.

"Yeah I do, Taicho." Renji replied weakly smiling.

"Did you saw the Arrancar that attacked you?" Urahara asked.

"No. I mean kinda. It was blurry but the guy was pretty big and fat..."

"Fat?" Hisagi asked.

"Not fat, but... like it wasn't human-shaped."

"It wasn't humanoid?"

"No, more like a normal hollow, it was like the triple of Komamura-Taicho's size."

"Could the enemy be a common hollow?" Kira asked Urahara.

"It could, but according to the witnesses the reiatsu they felt is similar to an Espada." The former Taicho replied.

"Definitely Espada. I think it was even stronger than Szayel." Renji said.

"What else happened?"

"Hmm... Can I have water or something?" Renji asked.

"I'll go get it." Kira offered himself.

"Kira-san, I apologize to bother you, but maybe you could make tea instead? There's a brown box with tea in the upper cabinet in the kitchen. It will help freeloader-san over here regain his energy faster." Urahara said smiling.

"Of course I'll make it." Kira said leaving to make the tea.

The enemy had the same strength as an Espada... Kira remembered when the Taichos faced the Espada in the fake Karakura Town. Several Taichos got seriously injured fighting the Espada, and they were only able to defeat them, with the aid of the Vizards. And now Renji escaped from this one...

Kira sighed; this mission was becoming something big. He reached the kitchen and opened the upper cabinets finding the brown box with the tea. Then he went looking for the teapot. He looked everywhere, but couldn't find it. He decided to go ask Urahara where it was.

The blond walked to the room and when he was about to enter, he heard Urahara ask Renji.

"Why did you mention Ichimaru Gin before passing out?"

Kira froze. Gin? Renji mentioned Gin? Kira's heart started to beat faster.

" _I called the others to come quick then... Renji said it."_

Matsumoto's words echoes in his mind, that's why she was so uneasy.

"When that thing hit me, he said something like... I was like Ichimaru Gin? Wait... I know, I remember his exact words, that I was "As lustful as Ichimaru Gin"..."

"Lustful..." Urahara said.

"You kind of are lustful." Hisagi said.

"Shut up Hisagi." Renji replied, "I'm really thirsty and hungry, and tired."

"I'll go help Kira and bring you something to eat." Hisagi said. Kira heard the sound of footsteps and quickly returned to the kitchen. He pretended to look for the teapot when Hisagi appeared.

"Abarai is hungry, it's a good sign." He said to Kira. Kira was with his back turned to him.

"I can't find the teapot." Kira said with a poker face. Was his voice trembling?

"It's right next to you."

Kira looked at his side and there was the teapot.

"Oh. Thank you." He said and filled the teapot with water. "So, what did Abarai-kun say?"

"Hmm? He's being examined by Urahara-san. He's tired so it's better to leave the talk for tomorrow."

Kira never felt so disappointed in his entire life. Hisagi wouldn't tell him about Gin? It wasn't even something directly about Gin, just someone that compared Renji to Gin, and yet he wouldn't tell him?

Since when he wasn't trustworthy? Lying about being with Matsumoto, lying about this... Kira hated liars more than anything in the world, and now the one he loved, the one he admired more than anyone else, because of his pure and kind heart was lying to him.

Kira didn't felt special anymore. Hisagi was messing with him like he was just another person in his life. He wasn't his best friend like the brunet said; he was just someone that Hisagi needed to lie to.

Wait... the reason why Hisagi wouldn't trust him about Gin or Matsumoto... Did Hisagi Shuuhei think he wasn't trustworthy because he was connected to Gin? Did Hisagi think he might have been part of the betrayal?

The blond could hear the brunet moving behind him and speaking, but his voice was muffled in Kira's mind. The now familiar metallic buzzing sound filling his ears in a stronger way than before, but that didn't matter, because Kira's heart was so broken, nothing mattered anymore. Nothing could make him feel worse than he already was.

"...ra, right?" Hisagi said. "Kira?"

"Yes?" Kira answered with a monotone voice.

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Hmm, no sorry I was distracted." Kira replied and gave a fake smile, but with his best acting skills. Hisagi looked at him for a bit and then sighed.

"I said that things should be quicker now that Abarai is awake."

"Yes."

Yes, he hoped so, because he couldn't wait to go home and lock himself in Gin's room while he cried his eyes out and begged to some kind of superior being to make him fall asleep and never wake up again.

 


	9. Secrets II

Chapter 8 –  _ **Secrets II**_

**Renji**

The moment Renji stepped outside the Senkaimon, he knew something was wrong. Ichigo's scowl could be seen from miles away as he received the shinigami.

"You're here to continue what we left on Soul Society." Kenpachi grinned in a scary way. The tall man got his zanpakuto ready.

"Sorry, Kenpachi, maybe later. I came here to receive you because I need to speak to Renji. Now." Ichigo replied. That sounded serious. Was Ichigo mad or something?

"Kurosaki, what is the state of Ishida Uryuu?" Hitsugaya asked.

"Ishida seems to be stable, but..." the substitute shinigami looked down, "Urahara and his father are with him now. You guys can go inside, Yoruichi is there to explain things." He pointed at the small house, then turned to the redhead, "Renji come with me."

Without thinking twice Renji followed Ichigo, as he walked away from the house, he could hear the faint voice of Kurotsuchi, "These seem to be stolen from the 12th div..."

They both walked not very far away. Ichigo looked gorgeous as always, with a yellow shirt and jeans. Renji couldn't help but stare at the boy's ass as he walked in front of him. He was so glad to be in the human world again, that way he could continue where he left with Ichigo.

They stopped in a small alley nearby Urahara's shop. Ichigo crossed his arms in his chest, in a way that reminded Renji, strangely of Hisagi.

"What's wrong?" Renji asked.

"I... need to speak to you about something." Ichigo said moving his arms and putting his hands on his jeans pockets.

"Ok..." He was having bad feeling about that tone of voice.

"You see... I... I'm kinda pissed off about what happened to Ishida." Oh, it looked like he just wanted to talk to someone, that was cool, "And I'm pissed off with myself."

"There was nothing you could do. You can't protect everybody, everywhere, all the time." Renji said.

"That's the thing, I'm not pissed off because of that, I'm pissed off at myself because I'm more pissed off about the fact Ishida is pissed off at me because of you, than I'm pissed off at the fact he was attacked."

"Eh?" What the hell? Renji didn't understand from the second "pissed off" part. He took him a bit to get what the boy meant. "Wait! Ishida is mad at you because of me?"

"Yeah, because that night when we went to the club, you decided to put your paws on me when I was drunk and he saw and freaked out."

Paws? That's harsh...

"So?" What the hell had Ishida to do with what he did to Ichigo or not?

"So, Ishida and I are dating, kinda... I mean I have no idea now." Ichigo said looking down. Renji's eyes widen at that piece of information. Ichigo was dating Ishida? But Ichigo didn't tell anything about it, and that night he was very responsive. "I tried to tell him I was drunk and that I thought it was him, but he didn't believe in me."

"You thought I was him?" Renji asked. What the fuck? What the FUCK? What a huge blow to Renji's ego. First Ichigo had a boyfriend and now, that night, he was mistaken by that boyfriend?

"Honestly? Yeah, I did. I'm not the type that makes out with the first person that appears in front of me."

"Neither am I. You think I made out with you just because?" Renji asked trying to keep his posture normal, part of him wanted to punch Ichigo badly, or kiss him.

"Didn't you?"

What a fucking brat, cornering him like that. This wasn't supposed to happen. Renji was suppose to wait a bit and flirt more before confessing his feelings, not being humiliated and feel like he did something bad.

"I thought there was something going on between us. You were fine with me before getting drunk, and you enjoyed what we did, and... how the fuck can I be confused with Ishida?" Seriously, how could Ichigo confuse Renji, that was tall and muscled with the skinny Quincy?

Ichigo was in silence, his eyes filled with something between panic and sadness.

"I don't know, I don't even remember that night. I just have a vague memory of me and him, but it seems it wasn't him, it was you... Fuck, he hates me now." Ichigo slid the wall and sat on the floor.

His expression broke the redhead's heart. Ichigo really liked Ishida. Renji should have known something like this would happen. Things were going too smoothly.

"But that's not my fault." Renji said, "I didn't knew there was something between you two, and it's not like I forced you to do anything."

"You didn't hold back either!" Ichigo almost yelled.

"Why would I?"

Ichigo looked at him surprised. Renji continued.

"What the fuck Ichigo? I wanted to make out with you and you looked like you wanted too, so that's what I did. It's not like I caught you by surprise, I've sent you signs for a while."

"I never noticed any signs and I never mentioned that I was interested in you. I've been all this time trying to make Ishida like me and accept me, and when he finally did, you messed up everything just to get in my pants."

"What?" This was bad, this was very bad. Ichigo was misunderstanding things. Sure Renji wanted to get him naked and then do the naughtiest things he could think of to him, but he also wanted to be with him because he had feelings for him. "It's not to get in your pants..."

"Then why is it? You have that reputation... If it's not that, then why you did those things to me?"

' _Because I like you, want you, wish you?'_

"I..." Renji looked down, was he going to say it? But he was clearly being rejected, and Ichigo was with Ishida. The Quincy was so polished and assertive, and Renji was so dumb and slow, sure he won in the physical department, but weirdly in that moment, in that alley, Renji felt so powerless, no sound wanted to come out of his throat.

Ichigo got up, and patted his pants to get rid of some dust.

"I thought so..." the boy said as he walked away. Shit, Ichigo was really mad at him, and he didn't know what to do.

"Wait!" Renji went after him and grabbed his shoulder turning Ichigo to him, and pushed him against the wall. With his free hand he grabbed Ichigo's head and he planted a rough kiss in his lips. He pushed his body against the younger's pinning him against the wall. Renji could feel Ichigo resisting against him, but he kept kissing him forcefully. If his words couldn't reach him, maybe his actions would. The boy's lips were shut and still, Renji tried to part them to deepen the kiss, but it was impossible. Ichigo's hand reached his hair and he pulled hard. Fuck. That was his weakness, he tried to bear with the pain, but the grip was too strong and it took only a slightly bit of distraction for Ichigo to be able to push him away. Without noticing, a fist came straight to Renji's face.

"The hell, Renji?!" Ichigo yelled furious. "What's wrong with you? I'm trying to get help to fix things, and you aren't being serious."

Renji covered his bruised face with his hand. He messed things up. He looked at Ichigo.

"I'm sorry, Ichigo, I didn't-"

"I don't care anymore! Don't come near me again!" Ichigo yelled and walked away back to Urahara's shop. Renji stared at his back for a while before closing his eyes.

How could things turned out this bad so suddenly? Everything was fine before, right? He never thought that Ichigo and Uryuu had something together. Well, that was not really true. He did suspected a few times about Ishida being into guys, and probably being into Ichigo, but reality was that he didn't expect Ichigo to be into Ishida. And now Ichigo was angry at him.

Renji punched the closest wall.

"Fuck!"

He tried to calm down.

Ichigo was mad, but it was just because of Ishida being hurt. That's why he released his anger on Renji. So, Renji should be patient with him. Talking to him when things got cooler.

Renji went to Urahara's place, he almost bumped to someone at the door. It was a man, with white hair and glasses. The man was lightning a cigarette and stopped for a second glancing Renji; he raised an eyebrow and walked away murmuring something that Renji was pretty sure was "Shinigami plague". The similarity was too great for him not to know that man was Uryuu's father.

He entered the house and everything was chaotic in there. Kurotsuchi-taicho was yelling at Urahara who was hiding his face behind his fan scared, which Renji was sure he was just pretending to be scared, the guy was probably have the fun of his life. Kenpachi was talking loudly with Yoruichi, and Matsumoto was with Orihime who was explaining something excited. Hitsugaya-taicho and Ichigo were nowhere in sight.

"Freeloader-san, you're back again?" a voice spoke beside him. It was Jinta. The brat was annoying but at the same time, Renji liked him a lot.

"You know how it is, when there's big trouble in the human world, the strongest have to come save everyone!" Renji grinned, even though he didn't feel like smiling.

"Pftt... You? Strongest? Yeah right! In your dreams!" Jinta laughed, Renji sadly smiled. The boy's laugh faded away quickly, he was staring at him.

"Are you ok?" the boy asked. Renji stared at him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Do you know where Ichigo is?"

Jinta continued to stare at him, but he replied.

"He's in the guest room, with Uryuu-san and that kid-taicho."

"Kid-taicho? Don't let him hear you calling that or you're screwed." Renji chuckled and ruffled the boy's hair as he passed by him to go to the guest room.

"Hey!" the boy protested but didn't say anything else, and stared at Renji walking away.

Renji reached the room and knocked the door opening it. Like Jinta said the other two were there along Ishida, who was sleeping.

Ichigo looked at him but turned his head right away. That simple gesture hurt more than anything else that happened in his life. Renji tried to deny the true, but it was impossible – his heart was broken.

"How is he?" Renji asked. The Quincy was in the futon with an IV attached.

"His reiatsu stabilized, however he becomes dehydrated very easily so he needs constant fluids. Besides that, he's fine." Hitsugaya explained.

"What should we do now?"

"We have to create a plan and patrol around the town."

"What we should do if-" Renji stopped abruptly. Something was wrong, there was a strange energy that he could feel. It was definitely a reiatsu, something like he never felt before. It wasn't a hollow, it was more alike that Espada that he faced before, Szayel, but still it wasn't quite like his too.

"What is it?" Hitsugaya asked.

"I can feel something. Don't you guys feel a strange reiatsu?"

Histugaya concentrated and then shook his head. Ichigo looked at Renji skeptical.

The door opened fast, and Matsumoto spoke.

"Taicho, Yoruichi is sensing the Arrancar."

Hitsugaya looked at Renji.

"Let's go." He said, receiving a nod form the redhead in return.

They looked for the Arrancar but in vain, since the reiatsu was all over the town, after a while the reiatsu disappeared and the shinigami stopped looking for it. During that night, they traced a plan to patrol certain areas. Kurotsuchi installed some miniature sensors in several parts of Karakura Town, and Kenpachi was  _assigned_  to go wherever Yoruichi was going, Matsumoto was supposed to be with Ichigo and when the boy was at school, she would be with Kurotsuchi – poor woman – that because Hitsugaya insited that he wanted to patrol with Renji.

The reitatsu itself was big and dark, but Renji didn't feel particularly intimidated by it. Maybe because he was so used to Ichigo's enormous reiatsu that, anyone else's was no surprise for him.

He didn't know why he could feel it and the others couldn't. He could feel it the same way he could feel a hollow, it was nothing out of the ordinary. It would come and go, disappearing and re-appearing. It was unpredictable, so the shinigami spent the whole next day patrolling.

Ichigo was still at school, and Renji wondered if he could convince Hitsugaya to patrol over there, where he could see the substitute shinigami. Of course, Hitsugaya wouldn't let him since that meant they would be far from their route, and Ichigo was still mad at him, so he probably wouldn't want to see him...

Shit, how did he messed up so bad? Ichigo talked about him having a reputation... Well, yeah he had a reputation, but it wasn't something many knew, only close friends to him knew about it, so that meant Ichigo talked with someone who said Renji was freaking whore. But who?

Not that he was ashamed of that! Actually, Renji was extremely proud of himself in that scenario. He could get any women or men he wanted. Even in the  _homophobic_  Seireitei he was sure he could get any guy he wanted and make them bend with their ass in the air for him.

Soul Society wasn't really that homophobic, most pretended to be just to please Sou-taicho and the Seireitei  _rules._  Renji knew a large amount of gay men in the Gotei 13. The 4th Division was full of them, which was nice since, generally 4th guys knew what to do and where to touch. Even his own division had some gays, although they kept everything secret, because of Kuchiki-taicho. And Rukia also told about her division having some available guys.

Anyway every division had gays, no matter how homophobic the Gotei 13 was supposed to be. Except the 11th. Sure Ikkaku and Yumichika were a couple but they were the only couple, the rest were rough manly men, not homophobic, just the kind that lives for 3 things – fighting, sake and women. But Renji doubted some of the guys there didn't try anything with men...

Still, Renji slept around a lot, but he also lived a lot compared to Ichigo. As much as he hated to admit Renji didn't get laid for a while now. With women or men. And he was frustrated, sexually frustrated. He was so busy for the past years trying to move from 6th seat to that 4th seat that Yumichika didn't want, and suddenly Momo and Kira tell him that he was fukutaicho! If he didn't have time for sex before, then after joining the 6th Division, much less time he had.

Now, all he wanted was a big cock inside him, doing him hard, making him come as many times he could. He didn't want a quick fuck, he needed an all night long session of steamy sex. And when he finally met someone who was perfect for it, someone he fell in love with, his heart was broken... Damn, he was heartbroken and horny.

Renji sighed and stopped, Hitsugaya stopped too.

"Anything?" the small taicho asked.

"Nah, this is useless." Renji replied looking arround. Away from him there was a supermarket, with a large parking lot surrounding it.

"We still have to do this." Hitsugaya replied, cleaning some sweat from his face.

That caught Renji's attention.

"Hitsugaya-taicho, are you feeling hot? I think I never saw you sweating before." Renji stated.

"That's because I don't. Hyorinmaru keeps my body temperature cold." He replied cleaning his face with his sleeve.

"It became kinda hot suddenly, didn't it?" Renji asked also feeling sweat forming in his body.

"Indeed, it has."

"Urahara-san said the hot weather should be from the Arrancar, maybe it's there somewhere right now."

"The Arrancar must have a cloaking system. It's probably here all the time, and just hides its reiatsu." Hitsugaya said looking around.

Renji knew it was stupid but he had an idea. He walked to the middle of the supermarket's parking lot and, flared his reiatsu.

"Abarai, what do you think you're doing?"

Before he could say anything, Renji felt the enemy right there next to him. He jumped quick enough just to evade an attack from the enemy. He wasn't sure what kind of attack it was, but he felt the wind move fast. Renji grabbed Zabimaru.

"Howl, Zabimaru!" Renji released his shikai, and stopped mid-air.

"Abarai!" Hitsugaya yelled with Hyorinmaru in his hand, "Where is it?"

Renji looked around concentrated. He wasn't particularly good at sensing spiritual pressure, but this one was insanely hard to understand. The reiatsu was everywhere, but Renji was able to see movement in the middle of the parking lot. It was blurry, like he was having vision problems, but he focused in it. With Zabimaru he attacked it, his zanpakuto extended as much as it could to where the enemy was, but the damned Arrancar was fast to evade it. The only thing his zanpakuto hit was a nearby car.

"Abarai! Where?" Hitsugaya yelled once again.

"Somewhere here in the parking lot, I can't see him clearly just a blur."

Hitsugaya grabbed his denreishinki and contacted the others. Renji looked arround trying to find where the Arrancar was. He was sweating so much, he could feel his shitagi wet inside the kosode. Renji moved a bit forward and the heat increased. That was it! The Arrancar was the one emanating the heat, so wherever it was hotter it was where it was.

"Hitsugaya-taicho!" Renji called and pointed Zabimaru where the enemy was.

"Understood, stay back Abarai."

"Sit upon the frozen heavens, Hyorinmau!" Hitsugaya started to freeze everything surrounding him, the ground, the cars, everything was freezing. Good, maybe he could freeze the bastard, or at least melt the ice so Hitsugaya could figure out where it was his location. But nothing happened.

"Abarai, where it is?"

"The source of heat is right there!" Renji said surpised pointing at the same place where he was seeing the movement, "I'm sure it is there!"

He didn't understand, why Hyorinmaru's attack wasn't working. The blurred figure was there, it was something big, like a hollow. Once again he attacked it with Zabimaru, but the blur disappeared and appeared behind him. He jumped far away from it, still in the air.

A laugh surrounded him. He didn't knew where it came from. The laugh was deep and dark. Renji was getting annoyed with this, he didn't want to be mocked.

"Bankai." He released his bankai, and with Hihio Zabimaru, he attacked everywhere he could, destroying more cars arround him.

"Watch out for the damage you're doing!" Hitsugaya yelled as he tried to contact Soul Society. Why wasn't anyone coming? Yoruichi could be a great help now. Or Ichigo.

The laugh came back again and then a voice followed.

" _This one is as lustful as Ichimaru Gin."_

"What?" Renji asked. Ichimaru? What the hell? Hearing that name was the last thing he expected. Something touched Zabimaru and the bankai dissolved. Renji was confused and then heard Hitsugaya yell something.

"Zabimaru?" The zanpakuto was silent in his hand. The redhead could feel that great part of its energy was gone.

Renji looked around frantically, he wasn't the type to get scared, but now he was frightened without Zabimaru.

Hitsugaya was freezing everything again. The difference between hot and cold was aching in Renji's body.

"Who are you? What do you want?" Renji asked to the air. A laugh replied again. But this time the laugh came from a specific spot, where Renji attacked immediately with his zanpakuto in his sealed form. He heard his sword hit something, and smirked, but before he could celebrate it, an acute pain took over him. He looked down and saw his shihakusho ripped in his stomach, blood was dripping from a wound that was caused by an unknown attack. It was a simple injury, something that Renji could bear easily, but he started to feel his body heavy and his legs and arms paralyzing.

He fell from the sky to the ground, where Hitsugaya met him yelling something he still couldn't understand. Renji tried to speak but couldn't, his throat was also paralyzed. He need to give the little information he had to Hitsugaya, at least what the Arrancar said about him being like Ichimaru Gin, because it meant they knew him.

He heard Matsumoto approaching.

"Taicho!" She yelled.

"Matsumoto call Orihime or Urahara now!"

"Oh my god, Renji!" Matsumoto yelled , "I felt the enemy but I can't feel it anymore."

"Matsumoto! Quickly!" Hitsugaya seemed a bit too worried right? Was Renji that bad? Was he going to die?

He opened his mouth trying to say something. He felt Hitsugaya putting pressure in his wound tightly.

"... I.. chi...mar..." he tried really hard, but the words were stucked, "... G-Gin..."

He could feel himself blacking out. Shit, this was it, uh? He was going to die now. The image of his friends came to his mind – Hisagi, Kira, Matsumoto, and Rukia, and Ichigo, and his taicho... He was going to leave them. Shit...

**0000000000**

Renji ate as much as he could. Never in his life he felt so hungry, -childhood aside – he was starving. It was a side effect from the reiatsu reduction. He wondered if Urahara was going to say anything about him eating so much, but he chose to ignore that thought since Hisagi was pushing more food to his plate. Technically it wasn't his fault.

He couldn't believe there was so much drama just because he was attacked. Hisagi and Kira were there, even Kuchiki-taicho left the 6th Division to see him. The noble was probably disappointed at him for being defeated so easily... He was ashamed of his own actions.

He swallowed some of the pastries Hisagi brought him and watched as Kira re-filled his cup with a nasty tea that was supposed to help him get better. The blond was looking down. Ergh... Ok, he always looked down, but after so many decades of knowing him, Renji could differentiate the many kinds of "looking down" Kira had. He frowned as he accepted the cup of tea.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked Kira. The blond looked at him surprised.

"What? Nothing. Do you want more tea?" the blond offered. Renji looked at him raising an eyebrow and turned to Hisagi and asked with his mouth full.

"What's wrong with him?"

Hisagi looked at Kira and shrugged his shoulders.

"I have no idea." He replied and then looked again at Kira.

"Nothing is wrong with me, Abarai-kun, I'm just worried about you." The blond replied. Yeah, right. He may be worried but there was more for sure. He probably hated being in the human world, in his little mind he must had thought in the pile of paperwork waiting for him in his table in the third division; and probably thinking in how misplaced he was feeling with that black tank top, which actually made him look kinda hot and edible... Great, Renji just woke up from his attack and was already thinking in sex. And sex with Kira! No way. That's not his territory. Kira was off-limits, he should think about someone else. Speaking of which...

"Where's Ichigo?"

"Home." Hisagi replied. "He took Ishida with him, since it's getting too crowded in here."

That was somehing he wish he didn't know.

"Did you guys... told him about me waking up?"

"Matsumoto-san called him. He'll come by tomorrow after school." Kira replied.

Renji didn't know if he was relieved for Ichigo to come see him or if he was depressed because he wouldn't come see him right away.

It was karma. Yumichika had told him countless times how his behaviour would cause him trouble in the future. He wish he knew better...

Someone knocked at the door, sliding the door after. It was Jinta followed by Kuchiki-taicho. What an odd combination, Renji thought. It was funny the idea of Byakuya having to deal with that delinquent kid.

Jinta came by quick and sat next to him with a scowl in his face.

"Yo, you don't have to be so angry that I survived." Renji joked.

"Baka." Jinta said clenching his fists in his knees, "Don't ever do that again. Scaring m... us like that." The boy blushed. Renji wanted to tease him but he knew the boy had needed a lot of courage to say that.

His eyes moved to Kuchiki-taicho that was still in his feet. He knew his taicho probably wanted to talk to him, and wouldn't do it in front of others, hell he wouldn't do it in any place other than a safe one! That reminded him...

"Jinta can you get some water for me?" the boy reluctantly left to get the water leaving him alone with his taicho, Hisagi and Kira. After the door closed he spoke.

"Ok, he's gone. Look you guys are staying here right?" Renji said looking to everybody, "Then you should know that this house has cameras everywhere! And by everywhere, I mean EVERYWHERE."

"Everywhere?" Hisagi chuckled, "Even in the bathroom?"

"Especially in the bathroom!" Renji said and then looked at the mortified faces of Kira and his taicho. Yes, Kuchiki Byakuya was looking at him paler than the usual, his eyes surprisingly wide open. That was something new...

"Ok, we'll be careful. You should rest. Tomorrow we'll discuss what we will do about the Arrancar." Hisagi said.

Both fukutaichos left him to rest. The noble decided to stay in the room in case Renji needed something. Renji felt like he should say something.

"I apologize, taicho." He tried his best to sound formal and honest.

"You do not have to. Rest, we will speak later." Geez, his tone was strict as always, but it was better than nothing. Renji fell asleep thinking in how he wished the next day would comer quick, so he could also properly apologize to Ichigo.

**0000000000**

"What do you think you're doing?" Kira asked.

Shit, he was caught trying to leave his room.

"I don't wanna be here anymore."

"You have to! Your wounds can get worse!" the blond replied as he shoved Renji back to his futon.

"What wounds? Orihime healed me, I'm totally fine-" Renji decided to shut up after seeing the scary glare the blond was giving him.

They stayed in the room silent for a while. Kira still looked down, his puppy dog eyes were making Renji's insides boil.

"Seriously, what happened to you? And don't say nothing happened, you are a bad liar, you can't trick me." Renji said leaning back in his futon with his hands behind his head. Kira hid his face behind his long bang. How much Renji hated when he did that. If it was someone else, he would say for sure that the person was trying to get some pity, but Kira wasn't like that. The blond didn't even realize he was being pitiful. It was just his nature to drown into depression and misery, and even worse, keep everything inside.

"Hisagi-san..." Kira started, Renji was surprised he was actually going to talk.

"What about him?"

"He doesn't trust me." Kira said and smiled sadly.

"Bullshit. He trusts you more than he trusts me or anyone."

"He's hiding things from me." Kira continued ignoring what Renji said. "Things that everybody knows except me."

"What things? Why are you saying that?" Renji hardly believed Hisagi wouldn't trust Kira. The blond was the only person Hisagi trusted with his life. What was he saying?

"Yesterday I heard you all talking about what the enemy said to you. About Ichimaru-taic-Gin." Kira corrected himself. "Everybody is keeping that from me. Including Hisagi-san, and he's the team leader."

It was odd. Renji was sure there was a reason for keeping Kira ignorant, but he didn't like it at all. It wasn't Hisagi's style to do this. He hated himself for thinking this, but he wasn't surprised at all. The whole Gin and Kira story was filled with theories and speculations after the betrayal, but Renji never believed any of those. unfortunately, not everybody thought the same as Renji, but Hisagi did. Hisagi himself suffered from those malicious theories and he was the one that understood Kira the best.

"He didn't tell you anything?"

"No. Only Akon-san told me, discritly, that this could be Aizen's work and that I should be careful. Other than him no one else told me anything."

"Why would they do that?" Renji asked.

"Because they may think I'm involved with the enemy? I don't know. I'm trying to find a reasonable answer but... I just can't believe Hisagi-san would do something like this to me."

Renji could understand that. They were really close, especially after they lost their taichos.

"Kira... I can try to figure out why he's keeping things from you. But it's strange you know? There must be a reason for it. If Akon told you that – like you said – discritly then Kurotsuchi may know something." Renji said thinking things through.

"I thought about that too. It must be an order from Sou-taicho."

"I'll see what I can dig out. You can trust me," Renji said and sat down leaning closer to Kira's ear, he whispered, "Even if I'm ordered to not tell you anything, I'll tell you everything."

Kira smiled, and he smiled back.

"Thank you."

"No probl-"

"RENJI!" the door was smashed, and a pair of gigantic breasts were suddenly around Renji's face. As much as Renji loved breasts and loved even more, gigantic breasts, unluckily he had to breath.

"Ranhiho..."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Matsumoto said freeing him from the tight hug. "I'm so happy, you are ok! I thought you were going to die!"

"I wish there was more faith in me." Renji complained as he recovered from the lack of air.

"You know what?!" Matsumoto said, "This deserves a celebration!"

"Hmm... Aren't we in mission?" Renji asked.

"Who cares? You almost died, we have to celebrate it! Leave it to me I'll take care of everything!"

**0000000000**

Rangiku wasn't lying when she said she was going to take care of everything, because Urahara's back yard was filled with people, food and sake.

Renji was allowed to be out of that room as long as he didn't drink. Nonetheless, everyone was there, from Orihime and Chad, to Yoruichi, Tessai and the kids. Even Ichigo's little sisters were there.

Ichigo was also present with Ishida. He had come earlier to say Hi and ask how Renji was, but he left after, not giving a chance for Renji to apologize, and didn't left the Quincy's side for a second, since then. Needless to say that Ishida didn't even looked at Renji once.

A couple of hours after the party begun, they were all reunited in a circle in the porch, discussing the Arrancar menace.

"So, the information we have about the Arrancar is: that it has a big, presumed male hollow-like body, which emanates heat, and affects the weather around him. One strike from it will deplete the victim's reiatsu with a poison that we think it may be from it's zanpakuto. Speaking of zanpakuto, it's seems the enemy's ability also depletes the energy from a zanpakuto, like it did with Freeloader-san's bankai."

Renji grunted, Urahara could stop calling him that, it was embarrassing. The former taicho continued.

"We also presume that the enemy is under Aizen's control."

"That's what I don't get it." Ichigo spoke, "Aizen is in a high-level prison in Soul Society right? How can the two be related?"

"Aizen may have foreseeing the possibility of him being caught by the Gotei 13 and prepared in advance a Plan B, but so far it seems the enemy has no intention to go to Soul Society. He prefers to stay here, my guess is that here he doesn't take the risk of being found. Which leads us to our last piece of information, and the one I'm sure it's the key for all this, - the fact only Youruichi, Uryuu-san, Matsumoto-san and Abarai-san can sense it."

everybody looked at each other. Urahara continued.

"There must be a common factor between you four."

"What could it be?" Ichigo asked.

"I could try find it out, if the ladies here wouldn't deny me some blood and reiatsu samples..."

"What?" Renji asked, "Why don't you give him the samples?" he turned to Matsumoto. The voluptuous woman didn't look at him, she stood silent, but Yoruichi replied.

"It's my right to deny that. I don't want your little needles in me, hun." She said and then took a bite of that grilled meat that look so delicious. Damn, Renji was hungry again.

"What about Matsumoto-san?" Ichigo asked. The woman glared him and then her eyes moved to Hisagi. He looked back at her.

"Rangiku-san doesn't have to do it, if she doesn't want to." Hisagi said. Renji frowned. This was strange, Hisagi shouldn't indulge Matsumoto like that. He really needed to have a talk to him about that and about keeping things from Kira.

The blond was sitting next to Hisagi. Good, at least he didn't let his senpai's questioning behaviour get in their friendship.

Urahara sighed.

"Well, that is true. If you change your mind, please come as soon as possible. Yoruichi a word please?" Urahara said leaving the porch and entering the room. Reluctantly, the woman got up and left.

"I have an idea!" Matsumoto yelled startling everybody. Yoruichi returned and grabbed the plate with food she left behind, and went back inside the house like nothing happened.

"Let's do that secret game thingy that Kuchiki told us she did." Matsumoto suggested.

"The burning paper thing?"

"Yes."

"Rukia told you about that?" Ichigo asked curious.

"Yes, she told and I think we should do that! There's too much stress within us." Matsumoto said.

Kuchiki-taicho that was next to Renji, silent the all time, lowly asked.

"What is this, she is talking about what Rukia did?"

"Oh, it's a..." Renji thought what that really was, he still thought that secret relief technique was just a bunch of nonsense, "Rangiku can you explain what is it? Kuchiki-taicho doesn't know and wasn't with us when Rukia explained."

"Of course! Well, we set up a little fire... can someone go ask Urahara-san for something to light a fire?" Matsumoto said.

"I'll go!" Orihime volunteered and went inside the house.

"And bring some papers and pens." Matsumoto continued, "Anyway, we write a secret or a fear we have in a piece of paper and then we burn it, to liberate ourselves from that secret."

"Basically, the secret/fear dies the moment you burn the paper. From that moment on, it's a new beginning. It has a therapeutic effect." Ichigo explained.

"What do you say Taicho? Let's do this?" Renji asked the noble.

"I will stay out of it." He replied.

"Me too." Kira said.

"No way! If we are doing this, must be all of us together." Renji said.

"Exactly!" Matsumoto supported him.

After a few minutes of convincing them, Orihime arrived we the material.

The small bowl with fire was put in the corner of the yard to give privacy. The act of burning the secret away was something that should be sacred. It was the link between personal will and strength, something like that had to be taken seriously.

Matsumoto was the first one to write in the small hand-size paper, and throw it in the bowl of fire. The speed she used to do that, was enough to make everyone realize that she needed closure about something. Her feminine face looked somehow relieved when she returned to her earlier place.

Orihime gave a small speech about how her life was the way she wanted, and that she was happy, and she didn't want to change anything. Chad reminded her about the Arrancar that attacked Uryuu and Renji and she frantically wrote something and threw the paper to the fire. Chad also did it.

After them, Ishida and Ichigo went together there and stood nearby the fire talking calmly and minutes after they both threw their papers there.

For a while no one else went there, apart from the kids. Chatting went on and on, while papers were forgotten in some hands.

Renji's was still blank. He didn't write anything, because he didn't knew what to write.

Secrets?

Apart from loving Ichigo, he didn't have any.

Fears?

Apart from losing Ichigo, he didn't have any.

Shit. It was Ichigo, always Ichigo. His mind was filled with Ichigo.

He wrote.

Someone moved from the other side of Renji; Kira got up and walked to the bowl of fire and threw the paper firmly. Hisagi followed him and also did the same. As they returned the brunet said something to the blond, that made the last blush and smile.

' _Damn you, Hisagi.'_

Always getting so close, yet staying so far.

The night was hot, and the paper was still in his hand with only one name written.

'Ichigo.'

His fear and his secret... Well, some people speculated about him being interested in Ichigo, but no one knew he actually loved him. No one cared, anyway.

Eventually, almost everybody moved to inside the house, since it was really dark. Only the full moon and the small fire illuminated the back yard of Urahara's shop.

Only he and Byakuya were outside. The noble also had his piece of paper in his hand. It was immaculated and clean, unlike Renji's that looked like it went through war, but the name was still readable.

His taicho's eyes met his. The usual intense stare of those grey eyes was different. Byakuya's eyes had a softer look. Breaking the stare, the noble grabbed the pen that was placed next to him, and with his elegant long fingers he wrote something pretty long. When he finished, he folded the paper twice and got up and threw it to the fire.

Wow, even his taicho had no problems doing this, what was Renji afraid of? Was the idea of letting Ichigo go so bad?

After Byakuya went inside the house, Renji walked to the small bowl with fire.

This was stupid. He had to get rid of that uncertainty that was making him feeling so unlike him.

He threw the paper to the fire and watched it as it started to burn. The name facing him.

Was he really going to give up so easily? He loved Ichigo, he could try harder! Make the teen see he was a better catch than the Quincy.

"Fuck." He changed his mind. He couldn't let that paper burn. He wasn't ready to give up yet.

Without thinking too much he tried to catch it with his bare hand. He closed his eyes preparing for the pain, and put his hand on the fire and...

... nothing happened.

"Eh?"

Confused he looked down and saw the fire surrounding his hand, but he couldn't feel anything. He grabbed his burnt piece of paper and took it off. The paper was intact, just like when he put it before. His eyes widen.

"What the hell?"

He put his hand again on the bowl inside the fire. It was an illusion, someone was playing a prank. All he could see was fire, but his hand felt something else. The bottom of the bowl, and the papers in it.

An idea came to his mind... A wicked idea... But no, he couldn't... he shouldn't? Renji looked behind and everyone was inside the house, distracted. No one would know... right?

Those people's deepest secrets were in his hand... Ichigo's deepest secret was there!

Renji grabbed a paper and infolded it. His heart was beating so fast, if he was caught he was so screwed. The secret was written in a childish handwriting.

'I think my brother is gay. I hate it. I think Rukia likes him, and I don't know if I should tell her.'

What the fuck? Rukia likes Ichigo? Yeah, right, and Kyoraku-taicho never got laid. Renji laughed.

He took another paper. It had a familiar handwriting, that belong to Matsumoto, her curved strokes were almost her signature writing.

'Gin ruined my life'

This sound bad. She was still hurt by what that bastard did. Renji felt a bit guilty about reading his friends secrets, but he wanted to know Ichigo's.

Another one. This was definitely a girlie note. The hearts proved it.

'I think Kira-san is very handsome.'

Renji smiled. Someone had a crush on Kira, how cute was that?

Another.

'I miss mom.'

Must be from Ichigo's sister, how sad...

Ok, almost there, another one.

'I'm afraid of having sex.'

Renji blinked. This could potentially be Ichigo's. The kanjis were unfamiliar, so this should be his or Ishida's... Oh, or Chad's or Orihime's, but no, because Orihime's was next, and there was a small drawing of a monster being killed by stickmen with swords.

Another. This one was too familiar and too awkward.

'I'm losing my control'

' _Shit, Hisagi... control of what? Your horny hormones or your zanpakuto?'_

Renji didn't want to chuckle, but he did it anyway as he took another piece of paper. The kanjis were elegant and every stroke was perfect. This handwriting, he knew better than anyone else's. Everyday he read reports from him and he also had his taicho's caligraphy lessons, where the noble tried to teach him how to do similar strokes.

'I will not act cowardly anymore. I will put my feelings on top of my priorities. Things will change. I will change.'

This wasn't really a secret or a fear, but everybody had their own way to deal with this type of stress releases games. Byakuya looked like he was having an epiphany... Renji didn't understand what that meant though. It was something he would need to think better after.

Another.

'Yuzu-chan must love me!'

Way to go, Jinta! Renji laughed at the strong will of the boy, he took another paper and his smile faded away.

'I'm in love with Hisagi Shuuhei. I'm so sorry.'

He knew who wrote this. He knew those kanjis; they were elegant and expressive. They were Kira's.

"Holy shit." Renji looked back. The door was semi-opened and Kira's silhouette was visible next to Hisagi's.

"How could we've been so blind?"

Renji and Hisagi always thought that Kira was homophobic because of his uncomfortable behaviour every time someone mentioned the word "gay", but it was the exact opposite. Kira liked... No, loved Hisagi.

Renji felt the guilt come again for reading such an intimate secret, but damned...

Maybe Kira kept that secret because of the golden rule or something. He could have trusted Renji with that though, there was nothing wrong about it, on the contrary, it would be uber fun to talk about guys with him.

Kira and Hisagi... That's why they were always so close, and that's why Kira was so down when he felt Hisagi wasn't close to him.

This was shocking, really shocking but at the same time, it made so much sense. Well, at least someone was going to be very happy.

He took another paper that talked about protecting Orihime.

"Chad." Renji stated.

The last one. Ichigo's. Renji unfolded the paper and his eyes widen.

'Uryuu'

Just a name, like his own paper. Renji felt worse than before. Ichigo's fear was Uryuu, in the same way, Renji's fear was losing Ichigo.

... But he already lost him, it seemed.

Renji heard the door slide, and he rapidly put the papers back at the fake fire. He turned around and saw his blond friend.

"Kira!" Good, he could take care of this now and forget for a moment what Ichigo wrote.

"Abarai-kun, are you well? You are here all by yourself."

"Yeah, I was just thinking about life and stuff... Where's Hisagi?" Straight to the point.

"Matsumoto-san wanted to talk to him." The blond replied sheepishly.

"Oh... she's been acting weird."

"You noticed it too?" Kira asked.

Renji stared down at his feet as he spoke.

"Yeah, she's all weird and that thing about not giving blood or reiatsu samples, and the whole Gin issue and not drinking... and are you in love with Hisagi?"

"Yes, I agree... Wait, what?"

**To be continued...**


	10. Secrets III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos. My apologies for the late updates. I'll try my best to update in time! 
> 
> I'm so glad that ShuuKira is still alive for so many people!! :)

Chapter 9 –  ** _Secrets III_**

**Kira**

"I asked if you are in love with Hisagi."

The Gotei 13 was going to need a new replacement to lead the Third Division, because Kira Izuru was sure that it wasn't normal his heart stopping beating like it did for so long, after hearing Renji's words. He was probably dead.

"W-where did that come from? What a silly question, Abarai-kun." The blond chuckled trying to act as normal as possible, but he was so caught off guard, he was trembling. Kira was in panic. Why was Renji asking such a question? How did he found out?

"Is it?" the redhead asked curious.

"Of course it is! Why are you asking that? Hisagi-san is a man and I'm also a man..."

"So?"

Kira's eyes widen. He forgot that Renji was also into guys. He couldn't say ' _It's not normal'_ , because he didn't want to offend his friend. Even if he truly believed that his feelings were not normal at all.

"Why are you asking such a question?" Kira's eyes moved to the ground, he couldn't face the taller man, he was already aware of his blushing face, looking at his eyes would make impossible for him to lie.

"Because of this." Renji stepped aside for Kira to look at the bowl with fire behind him. He put his hand inside and took off the papers. Kira couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"What the..."

"I guess someone is pulling a prank and put this fake fire here, to discover our secrets. I bet is that damn shop keeper," Renji said. Kira moved and put his hand on the fire to make sure it was really fake. He couldn't believe someone would do such a thing. He hated being fooled like that. He had written his deepest secret. He had put alot of emotion into it and a lot of thought to make his feelings for Hisagi burn with those flames. The ashes were suppose to mean the end of his endless and useless hope. But it was all a lie, and that piece of paper was intact, it came out of the flames like a phoenix that reborned from the ashes... And Renji read his secret... Renji... Abarai Renji knew he loved Hisagi... He knew... About his feelings...

"Holy shit."

Renji was surprised by his foul speech, Kira couldn't look at him, but he knew that the redhead was looking at him weirdly because he cursed. That or the secret.

"Yeah... Holy shit..." there was a moment of silence till Renji continued, "So... Hisagi uh?"

Kira snapped. He had no idea what happened or what demon possessed his body, but all he knew is that he was grabbing Abarai by the colar of the yukata and was glaring at him with a menacing look.

"You are not going to tell this to anyone. Anyone! You hear me?" Kira said with a cold voice. Renji's eyes were wide open as he nodded his head. "I mean it. If you tell anyone about this, especially Hisagi-san, I will tell Kuchiki-taichou all the bad things you did in the Sixth Division that you don't want him to know."

"You wouldn't..." Renji said. Kira gripped his colar harder.

"Just try..." His voice became softer as he continued, "I never asked anything of you, Abarai-kun, but I'm asking now, in the name of our friendship, which is the longest friendship I have, don't tell anyone. If you do, I won't  _ever_  forgive you."

Renji stared at him for a while.

"Ok, I won't. I promisse." Kira let him go, Renji fixed his yukata, "Damn, you can be scary as hell..."

The blond was so embarrassed, he had no idea what to think or what to say, he really had a bad feeling when he woke up. The ring in his ears, didn't help him feel any better too.

"But fuck... Kira... you like Hisagi... that's so crazy."

"I..."

"In a good way of course! I always thought you were all homophobic and turns out you have a sweet tooth for men." Renji said chuckling. Kira was bright red, he knew he was being mocked.

"Don't laugh..."

"Why? You fucking like Hisagi!" Renji almost squealed. "It's like... Why are you looking so miserable?"

Kira felt like crying, but he held the urge, he wouldn't cry in front of Renji. His mind was so concerned that his secret was known.

"I beg you, Abarai-kun, don't tell anyone. I don't want to ruin the friendship I have with him, please." Kira looked at him straight at his eyes.

"I already promised that I wouldn't tell. You are so paranoid... How long do you like him?"

Kira was somewhat relived, he couldn't complain about Renji not being loyal, because that was one of his best virtues.

"Since always, I think."

"Really?" Renji was shocked. "And why haven't you told him?"

"Are you insane? How could I? I mean... he's Hisagi-san, one of the most handsome man with the tattoo in his face, that makes girls faint with his smile, and I'm... I'm just Kira... a man that likes another man..."

"Just Kira?" Renji raised an eyebrow, "It's not like this is new, but you really should check upon your confidence levels, because trust me, you are much more than just Kira. And let me tell you something, you are a fool if you don't confess your feelings to him."

"NO! No, no, no." Kira shook his head and his hands, "I knew that you would say something like that, but no. I won't ruin my friendship with him, just to let him know my feelings. I rather be the way I am now."

"Wouldn't it be better you two dating?"

Kira didn't know why Renji was reacting like this, it wasn't exactly what he was expecting from the redhead.

"But... It's impossible."

Renji grabbed him by his arms, shaking him a bit.

"Listen... it's not impossible-"

"But I'm a man-"

"Don't say that again. Being a man or a woman has nothing to do with anything. We are talking about Hisagi. Do you really think that if you confessed to him, he would treat you badly?"

Well, it wasn't Hisagi's style to treat people badly, but he would become distant for sure.

"I don't know, the risk is too much."

"No it's not! There is no risk at all. It's you Kira! If Hisagi knew about your feelings he would probably... fuck you right in that moment."

Kira madly blushed.

"He wouldn't... He would be grossed out and he would become distant, I can't deal with his rejection, I really can't."

"Damn you! You are so stubborn. Let me try this again..." Renji thought for a moment his words. "Hisagi would be thrilled if he knew your feelings."

"How do you know that?" Kira was becoming frustated.

"Because it's you! You're the most irresistable guy for him! If you told him to die, he would, if you asked him to be your pet, he would, if you wanted him to let you do him, he would! I don't know how many reasons you want. But trust me, I put my hands on the fire for you on this... well not this fire over here, but real fire. I assure you if you confess to Hisagi, he's gonna be the happiest guy ever. He's not going to reject you!"

Renji's words, strangely filled Kira with hope, a lot of hope. His heart was racing, the redhead was so determinated, and he wouldn't lie to the blond, would he? Of course not! Renji was the honest type. He would tell harsh truths even if it hurt. He wouldn't let Kira face Hisagi and being crushed. He wasn't like that.

But confessing? So many things were passing by Kira's head. All the times he tried to get closer to Hisagi in the Academy, the time in the Fifth when he finally saw Hisagi again, the times in the Fourth where he tried to get closer again, the times in the Third when Ichimaru told him it was wrong to like Hisagi, to like men...

But Renji now was telling him it was fine, and it didn't matter him being a man, and that Hisagi would be happy if he knew his feelings... but Hisagi wasn't gay, he liked...

"Matsumoto-san... He likes her." Kira said.

"Who doesn't? Even Yumichika would do her. It's just a little crush, he doesn't love her or anything. Seriously, Kira you need to stop overthinking things, you are missing the stuff that is happening in front of your eyes. Confess to him. I would do that for you, but I'm a man of my word and I won't break our promise, so I can only try to convince you for you to do it yourself."

"But... I don't know what to do or what to say. I... I've been feeling like this for so long and trying to hide it and within the Seireitei it's not acceptable..."

"Screw that! I'm not saying for you to make a confession in front of everybody. As long as you keep your hands in control in public there is no problem. And we are not even in Soul Society, so you should take your chance now, in fact you should confess tonight."

"What? No! I need time to prepare myself."

"Prepare what? Just go to him and say you need to speak to him and then... confess."

"It's easier to say than do."

"What's hard about it? You just have to say 'Hisagi I love you and I wanna be with you, take me right now!'."

"Abarai-kun!" Kira reprimanded. He had stopped long ago trying to hide his blush.

"Don't worry, even if you don't say the last part he will take you anyway." Renji laughed.

Kira sighed, he wasn't sure about this at all. But Renji was so confident! He could feel his own self-control easily slip away. Was Hisagi really going to accept him? He had been so cold lately, and the lies and all...

"Kira." Renji broke his thoughts, "You don't want to miss your opportunity. I lost mine, 'cause I spent too much time overthinking things, and someone was faster than me, and..." he's voice trailed off, "So do this for both of us. As long as you and Hisagi are happy, I'm happy too." Renji smiled, making Kira smile too.

He was right, Renji was completely right. He understood that Renji was talking about Ichigo.

Kira could feel the adrenaline rushing in his body. He had to man up and try. He had to prove to himself that Gin was wrong, and that Hisagi was not like the others. Hisagi would accept him. Yes, he would, because their bond was strong. And Kira deserved to be happy too.

"Ok. I will confess," Kira said firmly.

"Good, and I hope that you keep that gutsy attitude because I think Hisagi is coming right now," Renji said looking behind him. Kira looked behind and saw the other man passing the door and walking through the yard.

Oh dear Soul King, was he really going to do this? Hisagi was walking with a smile on his face. Yes, he was going to do this!

"Go," Renji said and pushed him.

Kira walked, his heart beating so fast, it could almost be seen through his chest. He was confident like he never felt before. He was going to confess... In that moment nothing else mattered. There were no problems in his mind, no Gin, no betrayal, no Third Division, no Arrancar or Hollows, no deaths, no pain, nothing. Just Hisagi walking to him and his confession under his tongue.

' _I love you Hisagi-san.'_

"I love you..." he whispered before reaching the brunet.

"Kira I need to tell you something," Hisagi said grinning.

"M-me too!" Kira spoke eagerly. This was really going to happen, he really felt like telling him.

"Let me tell first," Hisagi said towering him.

"Ok." Kira smiled at him.

"Rangiku-san agreed to go on a date with me!"

It felt like time stopped.

"What?" he lowly asked still smiling.

"And wait... A  _romantic_  date! These were her words." Hiisagi explained with a gleeful expression.

Kira's smile faded away. He stood still taking in, what the other man told him. Hisagi was going to have a romantic date with Matsumoto... He opened his mouth to say something and felt his lips trembling. Of all the times his heart was broken, he never felt like this before. It was like someone just placed a bomb in his heart and he was hearing the ticking, waiting for the explosion.

"Ok, now your turn, what do you want to tell me?" Hisagi asked, his eyes still with the glint.

Kira couldn't confess now. Or ever. He could never confess and he knew it, he always knew it. Abarai was just so charismatic that he was influenced by him...

"I... It's nothing important. I just need... to go... to the... b-bathroom. Excuse me." Kira left without looking back. He walked fast, as he felt his world collapsing. He went inside the house and went straight to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He sat on his knees as tears fell from his eyes. He covered his nose and mouth with his hands as he felt himself sob uncontrollably for a while.

The adrenaline from before plus the indirect rejection were taking its toll. Kira couldn't stop crying. It hurt, it hurt so badly. He lost Hisagi to someone he knew he had no chances against. And Hisagi was happy, so happy... it killed him inside. He didn't want Hisagi to be happy like that. He always said what it mattered was his senpai happiness, but no... He didn't want him to be happy with anyone else, but him. He just wanted Hisagi for him.

It was a lie when people said, that when we truly loved someone, we became selfless. Of course, Kira wanted Hisagi to be happy, but it was a complete lie if he told he was happy seeing him with someone else.

' _He's mine, he's mine, he's mine, he's mine...'_

"Mine..."he said rocking back and forth. Suddenly, the buzzing sound came stronger, so stronger Kira covered his ears with his hands, to protect himself from the sound.

The noise was so loud, he thought his head was going to explode. Something was odd, this sound was just too... intense. And was increasing by the minute. Not only the noise but he felt his body burning, like he had a high fever.

Last thing he remembered was feeling something wet in his ears and hearing himself screaming.

**0000000000**

**Renji**

"And wait... A  _romantic_  date! These were her words."

Renji couldn't believe what he was hearing. He felt bad seeing Kira's confidence disappearing in seconds.

"Shit..." He just killed the last part of Kira that was not broken. This was so unfair, and Hisagi was so stupid... The brunet had no idea what he just missed.

He watched as Kira walked away fast, he needed to follow him. Hisagi looked at him clueless of what was going on.

"Is something wrong?" the brunet asked Renji.

"You are just retarded, man."

"What? You guys could at least show a bit of support or something," Hisagi said looking to where Kira left.

"Fucking retarded." Renji decided to emphasized, the guy didn't even understood Kira's reaction.

"Abarai." A voice said out of nowhere, startling him.

Great, now that his mood was totally ruined, his taichou decided to come...

"I wish to speak with you. In private." Byakuya said. Renji couldn't deny it. Afterall it was his taichou.

"Of course."

They went inside the house to Renji's room. It was dark in there, with the exception of the light coming from the light post outside the window.

"What is it, taichou?" Renji asked leaning against the wall. Byakuya was nearby the closed door. Only then Renji noticed the noble had something in his hand, a black paper bag. Actually, only then Renji noticed how the noble was dressed. The lack of haori or any shinigami related thing made Byakuya much more... approachable. But the stoic face and the deep strict voice, still made him look like an authority figure.

"Very well," Byakuya made a pause and then spoke, "I want to tell you something important."

"What?" Renji asked. This seemed serious. Was it about the mission? Or about him being beat so easily against the Arrancar? He still didn't get scolded by Kuchiki-taichou so it should be a matter of time.

Another pause.

"I'm aware that you and Kurosaki Ichigo had a dicussion before you encountered the enemy."

How did he know that? Renji frowned, he wasn't liking this.

"And, I believe that it may have caused you to be distracted in your battle."

What the hell? No one knew he and Ichigo had a fight, so how could Byakuya know about it?

"It didn't, and I don't want to be rude, but this is kind of personal..." Renji replied.

"I understand, especially regarding the fact you have feelings towards him."

"W-what?" What the fuck? How did Kuchiki-taichou know about his feelings for Ichigo?

"I know it is a private matter, but I do feel that I need to intervene, and tell you that you should forsake your unrequited feelings." Byakuya spoke looking at him, no trace of any emotion in his features.

"I'm sorry?" Renji couldn't believe what he was hearing. First Rukia was taken from him, then Renji couldn't have friends or couldn't drink or have any kind of social life, now he couldn't love? This was too much. There was a line that even his taichou couldn't go over, and he just did.

"You should quit having feelings for Kurosaki Ichigo. I believe that I am b-"

"Wait a minute!" Renji cut him rudely, "You're telling me now who I can't like?"

"No. That is not what I meant." Byakuya ignored his rude tone.

"That's exactly how it sounded, though." Renji tried to control his voice from coming out but he couldn't, "Look I'm really tired right now, and I've been through some serious stuff and I just saw a fucked up situation with my best friend... And I'm reaaally tired..."

What the hell?! This was pushing the limit. From all the overwhelming tasks, and awkwards conversations or orders, this was going beyond the limit. Ichigo was a sensitive subject, and it had nothing to do with him. Renji was so fucking tired of Byakuya. He was so...

"... tired of you bossing with my life. I always fucking did whatever you wanted, I always took care things at the Sixth, yet you never even gave me a pat in the head. You only complain when I do things for myself. To you, I can't have a life or friends. Now you're telling me I can't even have a lover? Why? Because he's a guy? I don't fucking care what you think. Just because you have no one and hate everybody, it doesn't mean I have to be like you. I used to want to be like you, but now I pity you. Someone who doesn't get over his dead wife and looks wretched all the time. Fuck, I may not have chances with Ichigo but at least I'm trying to live, and move forward. You on the other hand, treat me like I'm no one, when in the end you are the one who is no one. And I don't put my fucking nose where is not my business!"

Renji panted and watched his taichou's, still, stoic face. The man wasn't even affected by what he said, and Renji just realized that he was screwed. Byakuya was going to slice him into pieces for talking like that.

Bye-bye fukutaichou position, bye-bye shinigami-life, bye-bye friends, life was going to be over in seconds.

They both stood silent watching one another for almost a minute, till Byakuya broke it.

"I see... I..." Byakuya broke the eye contact and looked at the bag in his hand, then looked back at Renji, "I apologize if I sounded ofensive, it was not my intention. I only wanted to say that I think I would be more suited for you, and that unlike Kurosaki Ichigo, I have feelings for you. That is why I believe you should forget him..."

Eh?

"This is for you." Byakuya showed the bag, and put it on top of the small dresser nearby him.

Eh?!

"I will leave now." Byakuya turned around and left the room leaving a paralysed Renji looking at the door.

EH? What the hell just happened now... Kuchiki-taichou had feelings for him? Wait! Feelings? His taichou liked him?

"Holy motherfuckin' shit." Renji cursed, slidding the wall and sitting on the floor.

Renji said the worst things he could possibly say to his taichou and instead of being slashed by Senbonzakura he received a confession?

"Fuck me..."

Kuchiki Byakuya, sexiest shinigami alive, confessed that he liked Rukongai dog, Abarai Renji. This couldn't be possible, it was a joke right? No, Byakuya didn't joke about anything. Then what? Confusion? Maybe he was alone for so long he just needed to get laid? Yeah, that made sense. But then why Renji? Why not a girl? Like Rukia or Matsumoto. He could totally get Matsumoto... But no, he wanted a guy... Then why not someone more alike him? Someone rich and not so... low-class like Renji. Like... Kira, yeah Kira would be his style. They could make noble sex and then drink noble tea after, while writing shit with their fancy writing, or maybe... Hisagi? No he was too hardcore-looking for Byakuya. Then... Someone from the Fourth? They're full with delicate and educated beauties... So why Renji?

' _Maybe he finds me sexy?'_

Yeah, that was it, it was just physical. Byakuya had feelings for Renji because of his body. It wasn't the first time this happened, so it was normal... right?

The redhead felt guilty about the harsh words he said. He shouldn't had mention Byakuya's dead wife. That was the last thing he should have done. Respect the dead. But it was the noble's fault, he should had left Ichigo out of this, who the hell confesses, by telling first for the other person to not like the person they like? It's common sense! That should be Byakuya's thing, but today he was lacking it.

Renji stood there in the dark wondering how he should face Byakuya and what should he tell him. He wouldn't mind be fuck-buddies with him, but Byakuya didn't look like the type of having sex with no strings attached, and anything but that was too complicated. Dammit... Renji wasn't expecting this at all, he had no idea what to do.

Someone knocked the door and opened it. It was Hisagi.

"Hey, have you seen Kira?" the brunet asked entering the dark room.

"No." Oh yeah, Renji needed to find Kira, but he had no mental strength. His head was full and feeling heavy with so many thoughts.

Hisagi ducked in front of him.

"Say, Renji... I've been thinking... and I don't think Kira reacted too well to my date with Rangiku-san," Hisagi said concerned.

"You think?! You have no idea what you have done."

Hisagi frowned.

"Does he like her? It's not the first time I noticed him being mad, about me trying something with her."

Renji sighed and rubbed his tattoed forehead with his hands.

"You really are acting dumb. Look, the most bizarre thing just happened to me and dealing with you and Kira now, is just too much and bothersome."

"Don't be like that! I don't want to hurt him! I need to know these things, I need to know if she's the one he likes."

"Hisagi, I don't get it. Why are you going to date her? What happened to 'I want to bang Kira'?" Renji asked.

Why was Hisagi screwing things, now he had the chance? And he couldn't tell him about Kira's feelings because he had promised, and he didn't want to betray the blond. He knew that it was the worst thing he could do to him. Kira had a trust problem. He didn't trust anyone apart from a few people, and if someone betrayed him, he would separate himself from those people. Renji knew he was his only rock in this mission, because of the all keep-things-about-Gin-away-from-Kira issue.

"Like I will ever have the chance. And Rangiku-san asked me so... why wouldn't I accept?" Good point, but he had a chance.

"What if you had a chance? Who would you choose Kira or Matsumoto?"

Hisagi looked ar him seriously.

"It's obvious who I would choose."

"Then wh-" A scream interrupted Renji. Hisagi's eyes widen.

"It's Kira!" the brunet said dashing, leaving the room fast. Renji followed him. Not as fast since his body was still sore, but the screams were so terrifying that he ignored the pain. Renji wasn't very good at sensing reiatsu but it was no doubt Kira's, and it almost burnt from its intensity. Matsumoto, Yoruichi and Urahara were in front of the door of one of the bathrooms, the screams come from inside.

"The door is locked from inside." Matsumoto said worried.

"I'll get the spare key," Urahara said leaving. Hisagi tried to open the door. The screams seemed of pain, like Kira was being tortured. They were loud and hysteric.

"Kira? What's wrong Kira?!" Hisagi yelled as he forced the knob to turn. "Kira?"

"What's going on?"

Renji looked behind him. Ichigo was looking at him worried.

"It's Kira."

A higher scream came from inside. Hisagi started to punch the door furiously.

"Where's the fucking key?" Renji asked yelling. The screams were so horrible, Renji almost felt himself crying, what was happening to his friend?

Hearing the screams becoming worse made Hisagi go mad, he started to kick the door until it broke.

"Kira!" Hisagi entered and Renji followed. He couldn't believe at sight in front of him. The blond was on the floor curled with his hands grabbing his head, and there's was a lot of blood coming from his face. The blond hair partially stained with the red fluid. He kept screaming.

Hisagi didn't waste time and immediately kneeled next to Kira and grabbed him.

"Kira, what's wrong? Kira..." Hisagi tried to make him sit but the blond kept screaming grabbing, what Renji understood it was his ears and not his head. Renji stepped forward and noticed that was where the blood came from, but what made Renji feel terrified was the fact the blood was result of Kira clawing his own skin.

Noticing it too, Hisagi grabbed the blond's wrists, taking them away from his face. Kira moved frantically, and kept screaming. Hisagi hugged him forcing the blond's arms down that insisted reaching his face.

Urahara entered the bathroom to assist them. Renji got out since the space was getting cramped. This was so fucked up, Renji never saw his friend like that. His hands were shaking. Their Kira, his precious friend was a bloody mess and suffering from something he had no idea what, and fuck... He watched as Hisagi grabbed the blond with all his force against himself trying to stabilize him, while Urahara observed the blond's wounds.

A rushing sound came from his side and behind Ichigo that was in the hallway appeared Byakuya. He was panting and had a unsual panic expression in his face.

"Kuchiki-sama... he's fighting the Arrancar. He made me come here to tell you..."

Renji looked at Ichigo.

"Let's go then." Yoruichi spoke and left. Urahara also left leaving Hisagi and Kira alone. Hisagi had a weird expression in his face, and looked at Renji. The redhead wanted to go to assist Byakuya, but he couldn't leave them alone. In the middle of Kira's screams he heard Hiasagi saying.

"Go. Go help them." And then he closed his eyes as Kira screamed higher and tried to get away from his hold.

"Matsumoto, let's go." Renji said starting to walk away. The woman stopped.

"What?" Renji asked.

"Shuuhei ordered me to stay."

"What? You can sense the Arrancar, you have to come!" Renji yelled.

"But-"

"It's my taichou that is there!"

The woman looked at him like she wanted to go, but at the same time couldn't.

"Screw Hisagi's orders, what if it was Hitsugaya-taichou?"

The look in Matsumoto's eyes changed. Her lips gently curled and started to follow him.

' _Good.'_

He went to his room and searched for his Soul Candy dispenser and took the small pill. He felt his body still injured, much more painful than his gigai, but now there was no time for pain. Trusting Kira with Hisagi, he mentally ignored the screams as he exited the house, with Zabimaru in his hand, following Yoruichi, Ichigo and the artificial soul. He prayed on his way. Prayed for Kira's screams to stop, and prayed that his taichou hung up in his fight, and that he didn't arrive too late.

**0000000000**

**Byakuya**

Byakuya had made the decision of revealing his heart to his fukutaichou. The days of pitying himself were over. It had been too long since he did something for his own good, and now it was the time.

Watching Renji hurt was the last drop. He had to be someone strong, and he wanted to be by the redheads side. He wanted to protect him with all he got. He wanted to love and display that love.

So he decided that everything would change once the redhead woke up from his sleep and was healed from his injury.

He had planned what to do and what to say. He would open his heart and speak his feelings, and persuade Renji that he would be a better  _catch_ than Kurosaki Ichigo. He would give him a gift, not something meaningless or useless, but something Renji would love. And, in the end he would show his feelings, with a kiss. It was simple, unexpected and very unlike him. It was perfect.

But the moment, he realized he was alone in that room with Renji, and that he was about to show such a vulnerable side of him, his mind became blank. All the planning, all the memorized words vanished, like wind blowing dust. For the first time in his life, Byakuya panicked.

Words started to come out from his mouth in the wrong way. His tone was difficult to change, and Byakuya cursed himself for not being able to express himself. He had been taught how to talk with a rich speech, how to present himself before others, but he didn't know how to express himself before someone that didn't care about vocabulary or presentation. He had no idea how to speak his heart, and the panic started to rise as he watched Renji's facial expressions change from curious, to surprised, to furious.

But never in life, he would expect to hear what Renji said. The mentioning of Hisana's death broke his heart, because he knew all those words were true. All of them. And that's why he decided to change things and to open his soul to the man before him, no matter how badly things were going.

Byakuya glanced at his hands, at the gift he wanted to give to Renji. Jinta had helped him, going with him to the store, choosing the model, assisting with the way he should use the money to pay. It had given a lot of trouble to the boy that probably prefered to stay home nearby Renji. All of that couldn't be in vain.

"I see... I..." Byakuya's throat was dry, he tried not to look hurt by those words, he shouldn't, he couldn't make the other man stay quite and keep his thoughts about him to himself, and neither should Renji make Byakuya keep his feelings to himself, so he decided to risk everything, and he just followed his intuition.

"I apologize if I sounded ofensive, it was not my intention. I only wanted to say that I think I would be more suited for you, and that unlike Kurosaki Ichigo, I have feelings for you. That is why I believe you should forget him..." he gifted the bag, "This is for you." He wouldn't bear if Renji rejected it, so he placed it the small dresser beside him.

The silence was unconfortable, and Byakuya couldn't tell what it was, but he wasn't felling right. He had confessed and now there was nothing else to do.

"I will leave now." He exited the room and walked fast to leave the house before he heard anything in return; this had been a bad idea.

He passed by Yoruichi who commented something, but he ignored her leaving faster. Something was wrong with him, his stomach was twitching and his hearbeat was growing faster. Much faster than it should.

Byakuya walked forward with no destination in mind, he just walked in the night trying to runaway or hiding, maybe both. He was starting to feel nauseated and his breathing started to be shallow, like the air was being stolen from his lungs.

He had walked a good 200 meters between houses and buildings, and stopped in a alley as his breathing got worse.

What was wrong with him? Did someone do something to him? Why was his heart hurting so much, why was his insides aching so badly? Why was his mind feeling like it was going to explode?

" _...but now I pity you, someone who doesn't get over his dead wife and looks wretched all the time..."_

Byakuya leaned forward against the large wall, as he started to breath with more difficulty, like Jushirou when he had his asthma attacks.

" _You treat me like I'm no one, when in the end you are the one who is no one."_

Every single word echoed in his mind over and over again. Renji's voice, his angry eyes, his hateful speech.

Byakuya couldn't breath at all, no matter how much he gasped for air none would put him at ease. He hyperventilated clenching his shirt at his heart. It was so painful, worse than any wound he had received.

He started to feel weak with the lack of air, he knew he was going to faint, and he tried to stay on his feet and calm down. He suddenly threw up, and that simple yet, disgusting act, helped him breath again.

As his mind started to become clear, he fell into himself. He had just been rejected. Not only rejected, but he had received a reply full of hatred. Renji said everything he thought about him and none was good. The image he had about Byakuya was much worse than the noble thought.

He had been a fool to thing so high of himself. To think Renji would leave everything behind and do as he said and accept him. He closed his eyes leaning his head against the wall.

It hurt so much, last time he felt so weak and defenseless was when Hisana died, more than 50 years ago. And now here he was, Kuchiki Byakuya, head of the Kuchiki clan throwing up in some dark alley in the human world for another man. A man he loved so much, that easily won in this fight of feelings. His feelings were stronger to enter his heart, than Byakuya's were to enter Renji's.

He wondered why would Renji prefer Ichigo. What did the boy have? Was it because he was strong? Or young? Expressive? Whatever it was, Byakuya envied it, with all his heart he envied it.

Byakuya opened his eyes, and there was something staring at him. A monster, a Hollow. It had brown fur that covered all his body on the exception if his members that looked like they were made of metal, almost in the shape of blades. It's face was covered by a white Hollow mask with the Hollow's hole in the middle. It's eyes were gold in the form of slits.

There was something weird about it, that Byakuya couldn't tell what it was. He reached his jeans pocket and took off his Soul Candy dispenser, swallowing the pill and leaving his faux body behind. He unsheathed his zanpakuto. Byakuya wasn't the type that vented his anger or sadness with battle, -that was more typical of those gorillas from the Eleventh Division, or Renji- but the idea of facing that Hollow, in his current state, was not bad either.

He moved forward slowly reaching the Hollow, he noticed two things. One, that it had a colar around it's neck. And two, that the closer he got the hotter it was. Using his shunpo, Byakuya moved behind the Hollow and before the monster noticed he attacked. He hit the Hollow, making him yelp in pain like it was a dog. The hit made the Hollow's reiatsu increase, and the odd feeling Byakuya was having became stronger. A normal Hollow shouldn't have this much reiatsu, maybe a Menos, but definitely not this kind of Hollow. And the hit should have made the it disappear, instead of simply injuring it.

The Hollow didn't seem like he wanted to attack the noble instead it looked frightned and kept yelping at the top of a small house behind him. And that's when Byakuya noticed something else. The colar had something attached, a leash. And that leash led to the place above the Hollow.

Byakuya's eyes slightly widen.

A man was there, wearing white clothes, his hair was green and wavy, and framed his face. It was hard to see his features in the dark, but Byakuya could see the white boned chin, resembling a beard. It was definitely the remnants of a Hollow mask. That man was an Arrancar.

Holding firmly Senbonzakura and without a trace of fear or hesitation, Byakuya spoke.

"Are you the one that attacked a shinigami, a few days ago?"

The man laughed. His voice was quite normal, even soft.

"Maybeee..." he sang. Byakuya frowned. This was definitely the Arrancar that attacked Renji.

"Are you maaad?" he asked with the same tone.

Byakuya moved to where his gigai was, he instructed the artificial soul in his body to go back to Urahara's and for him to explain that he encountered the enemy. He waited until he couldn't hear the footsteps of his gigai anymore. The Arrancar watched him with a smirk in his face.

"Are you under Ichimaru Gin's orders?" Byakuya asked. He needed to get information before killing him.

The Arrancar replied with a laugh, that startled the Hollow that was his pet.

"Is there more or you are the only Arrancar left?"

The laugh ceased.

"Who said I was an Arrancar?" the enemy disappeared and appeared next to Byakuya that easily escaped him.

"You are quick!" he said smiling poiting at Byakuya, "Quicker than the redhead."

The noble reacted to those words.

"Scatter, Senbonzakura."

The sword dissolved into pink leaves and they moved forward fast in the shape of a drill. The enemy moved using the speed that couldn't be nothing else but sonido. This... _thing_ was an arrancar, it had to be.

"So angry! Do you like him that much?" he asked giggling like a girl.

Byakuya froze. Was this thing watching him? Spying on him?

The pink leaves moved around the enemy like a crown, the space getting smaller trapping the enemy in the middle. Again, using sonido, the enemy escaped.

Byakuya was getting tired of this. That  _thing_  attacked Renji and he had to avenge him. His sword returned to his sealed state.

"Ban..." Byakuya stopped when he felt something in his left leg. He looked down, and saw blood sliding through his white tabi and sandals. The enemy reappered in front of him smiling.

Byakuya didn't noticed him disappearing, how could it be so fast? Was this his ability? Speed? What about the poison Renji and the Quincy got... Byakuya looked at his leg again. From his knee down his hakama was torned, his bare leg showing covered in blood. But he didn't felt paralyzed or anything like Renji said he did.

Byakuya looked closer at the enemy. He didn't have a sword. The one that attacked Renji and Ishida Uryuu had a sword, because their wounds came from a blade.

So this...  _thing_  was not alone. There was someone else with him.

"Where is your partner?" Byakuya asked, knowing he wasn't getting an answer.

Some rustle and a metallic sound came from where the Hollow pet was. Its members possibly its legs were scratching the asphalt.

"I see you wanna play I ask you a question, you ask me a question! Fine, but I'll ask first!" the green-haired  _thing_  asked. Now that Byakuya was closer, he could see his features better. For someone acting so childish the  _thing_  looked quite old, older than the noble.

"Are you really jealous of those who are clearly inferior to you?"

"What?" Byakuya asked frowning. He was not jealous of anyone, well except Kurosaki Ichigo or Kira-fukutaichou, but it was only when it came to Renji... Was this thing able to read minds?

"Oops, my turn! It's your fault for not thinking your questiooons!" he sang.

Byakuya was annoyed being played like that. He let Senbonzakura fall.

"Bankai."

"But really, envy is such an ugly thing. It's like the weakest of all..." The enemy appeared right next to him. Byakuya tried to dodge whatever he planned to do, he waited for his bankai to take effect, but nothing happened. Senbonzakura was in the middle of the air in its sealed form. Why wasn't his bankai working? He looked down and noticed the Hollow was underneath of it. It was the Hollow. It didn't let the bankai transform. It was draining Senbonzakura's power.

Byakuya grabbed the sword and moved far away.

So, the Hollow was the  _Arranca_ r's partner? Byakuya glanced at the monsters metallic legs. They were blades, that could be what hurt Renji... He had to be careful about the Hollow, to not let it touch him.

"Scatter, Senbonzakura." Once again he released his shikai. But this time he directed his attack to the bigger beast.

However, the  _Arrancar_ put himself in front of it, protecting it from the attack. Senbonzakura hit him, but the man had no trace of being injured.

Byakuya was speechless. Why couldn't Senbonzakura hurt him. He could hear in his mind the discontentment of his zanpakuto. Nonetheless, now it wasn't the time to be surprised. If Senbonzakura didn't work, it need to try something else.

"You know... I wonder why shingami try so hard to be human. You have so much power, you could conquer the Earth, but instead you are jealous of a human. That's so lame." The green-haired man said.

Byakuya tried not to listen to him, he was obviously distracting him. He had some ability to read minds, and he was using it as a demoralizing tool.

The Hollow on the ground growled, and the  _Arrancar_ replied to him.

"Yeah, it's time to get over with this." This time his voice wasn't as playful.

Without having time to blink, Byakuya was suddenly trapped by the other man. The enemy was holding his neck with his hand. He was so fast the noble couldn't block him. Maybe that wasn't sonido after all.

The noble tried to fight back holding the enemy's arm with his hands, but the grip was too strong, he could feel his neck about to snap.

"Eat, Cazador." The man said, and the Hollow moved as faster as its Master, behind Byakuya. In a matter of seconds, Byakuya's back was piercing by the Hollow's leg, staining the white haori with red.

Byakuya's eyes didn't left the other man's that was smirking.

Some noise could be heard from far away.

"Looks like you're friends are coming." The man said, "Oh the lusty redhead is with them!"

Byakuya gripped his arm.

"Ban... kai." His voice was hoarse due to the pressure in is throat, "Senbonzakura Kageyoshi."

The enemy's eyes widen and for the first time he showed fear, he looked around, and didn't saw anything.

"It's behind me, uh? Very smart of ya! You distracted me by fighting me back with your hands, and I didn't noticed you didn't had your sword."

"Scatter." Byakuya said ignoring the others explanation.

The green-haired man-Arrancar-thing, whatever it was, tried to get away, but Byakuya still held his arm. The thousands of small blades came directly against him, this time injured him. Blood spilled everywhere. He had tried to get away in the middle of it, releasing Byakuya, at the same time the Hollow also released him. The man had half of this body covered in blood.

Byakuya fell from the sky to the ground, but before he hit the floor he was caught by someone.

"Taichou!" It was Renji. Byakuya's eyes started to get blury, he could only see red. His body was starting to become paralysed, the poison starting to drain his reiatsu.

"Damn you shinigami!" The enemy yelled furious, "It won't be long before you all receive the punishment you deserve. Condemnation awaits you!"

Byakuya didn't listen to anything else, his mind was becoming dizzy. He could hear the faint voice of Renji calling for him. Byakuya's lips slightly curved, maybe Renji did not hate him that much afterall.

**To be continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can now say that this story is 1/3 done (around that^^'). I also noticed that whenever I write a character's POV, I always write using their first name, except Kira. I think the reason why I call him like that it's because "Izuru" is so Gin-ish that I feel that it's something very private to Kira. I know it's silly, but I really think that. Anyway I hope you all enjoy, and THANKS to everybody that reviewed!
> 
> This is not the beta version yet. Sorry for the mistakes^^'


	11. Conflict

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the long awaited Shuuhei chapter! Please see the end note after reading this chapter (there's some bonus content)

Chapter 10 –  _ **Conflict**_

**Shuuhei**

" _Ya sure come here a lot for Izuru, uh?_

_Maybe ya should know ya're not welcomed..."_

**0000000000**

Kira screams echoed within the bathroom increasing the sound, in what felt like a thousand times.

Shuuhei's body ached with the force he was putting while grabbing the blond fukutaichou in his arms. No matter how slim and small that body looked, it was incredible how much strength it had. Kira tried to move his arms, never stopping, to reach his own face, which was nastily injured; his legs kicking everything around him.

Moving his own legs to trap Kira's between them, Shuuhei tried with all his power to immobilize the blond. He could have tried a bakudo spell, to bind him, but something inside his heart said to him it would be wrong. Kira was in need to move himself. The way he kicked his legs, they way his body was so restless, showed that he needed some kind of relief by moving. Even though, it only made it worse, the feeling of movement was more merciful than being unable to move at all; feeling that kind of pain and not being able of doing anything would be like torture.

Shuuhei stood there, sitting in the middle of the floor in the bathroom, with Kira in his arms and between his legs. He never saw in his life, Kira so desperate. It killed him inside.

Urahara had left the bathroom, saying he was getting something to calm the blond down, and told him to not taking him out of the gigai.

That was several minutes ago.

Somewhere between those minutes, Renji and maybe Ichigo –he wasn't sure who else - went to help Kuchiki-taichou that was facing the Arrancar. It didn't cross Shuuhei's mind, not even once, to leave Kira there alone and go help the others. That was absolutely out of question, but something else, crossed his mind... Rangiku followed them.

He wasn't surprised she disobeyed an order coming from him. She barely followed her own Taichou's orders, but Shuuhei was serious when he ordered her to stay out of any battle.

She was no fool, she wouldn't engage the enemy recklessly. That could harm her, and both Rangiku and Shuuhei knew what the consequences could be if something happened to her. However, he was still concerned.

Kira tried to get away from him with a particular violent push, in vain.

"Calm down please." He tried to say in the middle of the screams. He leaned his face down, his chin resting in the blond's head, and he noticed Kira was extremely hot. The blond was sweating and all his body was getting hotter and hotter by the second.

A few more minutes passed and Shuuhei realized that mixed with sweat there was also tears falling from Kira's eyes. He was crying in pain. Shuuhei hugged him tighter as if it would make him feel better.

He tried to get up as he grabbed the blond tightly, and took him to the bath tub. Kira fought back kicking him several times in his legs. Somehow, he managed to get Kira in the tub, and they sat there in the same position they were before, on the floor.

When Kira gave a particular loud scream, and started to shake. Something built inside him that made him even more afflicted.

"Shh... I'm here, Kira... H-hold on." Shuuhei had no idea what to say, where was Urahara? He was sure that he wouldn't be able to see the blond like this much longer. Without losing his grip on Kira, he stretched his arm, opening the water tap, letting the cold water fall on top of both of them. Maybe he could relieve the heat, at least.

He water seemed to work, Kira's screams started to fade away or maybe it was just the shock of feeling water suddenly on him... he didn't know... that until Shuuhei felt a sharp pain in his left arm. Kira was biting him hard and deeply. It hurt like hell, but the screams were gone, and Kira was just whimpering now as he almost ate his flesh. It helped Kira so it didn't matter if it was hurting or not.

' _Mind over matter and soul before flesh.'_

Minutes passed by, Shuuhei didn't know how many, but it felt like he was in that bathroom forever. He held Kira with his life, he felt his own body shivering from the cold water, but it didn't matter. He knew the other man would do the same for him.

He had been so stupid. Kira had told him that he was hearing a strange noise, and he didn't pay any much attention. He was so focused on his own regrets and about Rangiku's well being, he didn't see what was going on with the blond.

Since they met, Kira was always the type that would keep things to himself, even if he was in trouble, he wouldn't bother anyone else, and because of that, Shuuhei learnt that he had to observe the blond to find out if he was alright.

Kira had these little tics when he wasn't alright, such as overconfidence, or when he lied he chuckled in a certain way, or when he was stressed out or preoccupied he would grip Wabisuke with his thumb and index finger. The most common was when he hid his face behind his long bang; Kira was a guy that didn't like to be the center of attention and didn't like people to make him feel important. He would be embarrassed and then distance himself enough that most people would simply give up on him.

But Shuuhei would never give up on him. Being friends or more or simply having a relationship of senpai/kohai, Shuuhei would never give up, and would never leave him alone. He would take care of him, the blond liking it or not.

If someone asked him, if he liked Kira he would answer yes, if he was asked if it was more than just liking he wouldn't answer. He liked Kira a lot, and he was sure he had loved him in some point of his life. But the past taught him that Kira was a lost case, and Shuuhei built a wall around him protecting him from any kind of damage he could possibly receive, in what came to the blond fukutaichou.

Renji had asked him why was he being so stupid. It was obvious, he did cared for Kira, and it wasn't like him to runaway from his own feelings, but this was the safest way to not make Kira hate him. Kira wasn't like him, and there was nothing he could do.

He made some shameful actions in the past to protect Kira from things that would break him. It was the price to love the blond, or better to make himself stop loving him.

Nonetheless, his feelings didn't matter as long as they weren't awaken. And now, Rangiku was the answer to his problem. He had a new responsibility in his hands, something that would change the rest of his life. She was counting on him.  _They_  were counting on him.

Hisagi heard some noise coming from outside. Loud voices, panic. He could hear Renji's voice, but he didn't understand what the man was saying. Something happened.

Rangiku appeared in the doorway, and her eyes widen when she saw Shuuhei and Kira.

"Crap," She said moving forward.

"What happened?" Shuuhei asked.

"It's bad, Shuuhei." The woman looked at the blond fukutaichou in his arms, with pity, "Kuchiki-taichou is in a really bad shape."

Shuuhei froze. A Taichou was injured under his leadership. Not any Taichou, but Kuchiki-Taichou, how could he report that to Soul Society?

"Oh my god, Shuuhei your arm!"

"It's nothing. He's just... holding the pain, it's helping him... him... biting me." The brunet said holding Kira tighter.

"Can't we do something?"

"Urahara-san said he would give him something, but..."

"They took Kuchiki-Taichou to a room and they didn't let us enter... hum..." Rangiku looked a bit lost, she put her hand in her forehead, it was trembling.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes. Don't worry, I didn't fight." She breathed deeply putting herself together. "I'm gonna go get something for Kira." She got up at left the bathroom, right after Renji entered. He was covered in blood that was not his own. He had a strange look in his face.

"Abarai."

"Shit," Renji said looking at Kira. He knelt next to the tub, "Fuck! What the fuck is happening?!" he yelled, making Kira starting to whimper loudly. Renji started to panic with everything.

"Abarai..."

"What the hell are they?" Renji's voice was desperate, "Taichou... he was beat so easily, even with bankai he..."

"Abarai?"

"And Kira is a fucking mess, what the fuck is going on, Hisagi?!"

"I don't know!" Shuuhei burst, making Renji stare at him. "I don't know." He repeated.

Rangiku returned and following her was Ishida, the Quincy. He had a needle with a green liquid in his hand.

"Urahara, Tessai-san and Orihime are busy with Kuchiki-Taichou." She paused, looking at Renji, "So, Urahara gave us a tranquilizer, and he will give it." She said pointing at Uryuu. Shuuhei looked at the boy who didn't seem to like the task he was given.

"Tranquilizer?" Shuuhei asked as he saw Ishida grabbing the arm from the squirming blond.

"Yes. I have no idea why, I'm just giving the shot, since I'm the only one free at the moment that knows how to do it." The Quincy replied coldly, not even looking at him. He gave the shot and then left the bathroom as fast as he arrived.

In a few seconds, Shuuhei felt the blond calming until he passed out in his arms. Matsumoto closed the water tap and grabbed a couple of towels. Renji helped Shuuhei holding Kira.

"H-his face. He needs to be treated," Shuuhei said shivering.

"I'll go get some bandages," Matsumoto said leaving once again.

They took Kira to his and Shuuhei's room. Renji laid him down and Hisagi knelt beside him making sure he had a towel underneath him. Renji got out of the room saying he was going to get some dry clothes.

The brunet stared at the sleepy man. His face was still bleeding, but the wounds weren't serious. The water had washed most of the blood, leaving just a pink tinge in certain parts of the slender neck and light hair. He put his hand on the blond's forehead. He wasn't hot anymore.

Carefully, he took Kira's wet clothes. First, the black t-shirt then the jeans and socks. Renji returned with some yukatas. And after, cleaning the blond, he dressed him with the grey yukata; before tying it, he took the blond's wet boxers.

For pure common sense both he and Renji looked away, but his curiosity got the best of him and he couldn't help but glance the naked form beside him. It was perfect, despite of Kira's size, he was manly with firm muscles and –oh God, he knew it – that body had a lot of strength. Perfect.

Finishing dressing him, Matsumoto arrived with a first aid kit. The three fukutaichous stayed there attending Kira.

After covering his ears and face with bandages and laying him properly in bed. Rangiku insisted in treating Shuuhei's arm.

"You also need to change into dry clothes."

"Later." Shuuhei answered, " Do you guys think it's related? What happened to Kira and the Arrancar?"

"It's more than one." Renji spoke softly.

"What?" Matsumoto asked.

"There's at least two of them."

"You saw them?" she asked.

"No. I just saw a blur behind Taichou... but Senbonzakura Kageyoshi attacked something in front of him."

"No one else saw anything?" Shuuhei asked.

"No. Yoruichi also saw the blur, and Ichigo didn't see or feel anything."

"I felt him," Matsumoto said, "And I heard him speak."

Renji's eyes widen.

"Me too. About how we were going to be punished."

"That's exactly what I heard."

They all stayed silent for a while.

"Then what happened?" Shuuhei asked. He needed to know to report to Soul Society.

"When we arrived, Kuchiki-taichou was in the middle of the air, blood dripping from him, and then he used his bankai." Matsumoto said.

"He hit the guy, because right after that, when he spoke he was pissed off and sounded like he was wounded." Renji continued.

"And then?"

"Then he was gone."

"How?"

"Just gone. I have no idea how."

"You didn't see a garganta or anything?"

"No."

"Then they are still here on Earth?"

They were all silent watching each other stupidly.

 

"I have to report this." He said, taking his denreishinki out of his pocket noticing it was all wet. He had forgotten he had the device in his jeans when he went to the tub. Well, it seems it was working fine...

"Can you stay here with him?" He asked Rangiku.

"Of course." She smiled.

Shuuhei left and walked through the hall reaching the common room.

Yoruichi, Ishida, Kurosaki and Chad were talking about the Arrancar. Renji was in the corner of the room sulking. The kids were awfully quite at the other side, one of the girls, Kurosaki's sister, seemed like she was crying, the kid Jinta had a hand on her back calming her. The whole thing must have scared her.

Shuuhei went to Renji. The redhead looked at him and said nothing. They were silent for a while hearing the others' conversation about what they heard or felt when they encountered the enemy.

"Abarai, I have to report this to Seireitei."

"So?"

"So... A Captain was injured..."

"Don't fret about it, Kuchiki-Taichou is problem of his clan, I'm sure you know about that."

"I know. He told Soutaichou that if something happened to him we won't be held responsible."

"Then why don't you call them?" Abarai asked. He didn't look like he was interested.

"They are going to ask questions... like why I didn't go with you..."

"You were helping Kira..."

"Yeah, but..."

"But what?!" Renji was getting impatient.

"They will ask why I chose to help a Fukutaichou instead of a Taichou..."

"..."

Renji sighed.

"Tell them, you thought Kira was in a really bad state and you sent the rest of us – the ones that could feel the bastard – go after him," Renji suggested.

Ok, this is what he should say. Sure many others would have done the same, there's was nothing to worry about. Kira was in a difficult situation, so he had to help him, that's it! Then why was he feeling so nervous about making the phone call?

He actually knew the answer to that question, it was as obvious as he was wet now. It was Kira... and he was... fond of Kira like he wasn't for anyone else. Not like he would ignore if it was someone else in that situation... but he wouldn't certainly let the opportunity of facing the enemy escape. And there was also his mission.

Grabbing all his courage he decided to dial the number. He got up holding the phone against his ear and walked to the semi-opened door to the backyard.

The phone made a strange noise, and cancelled the call. He re-dialed, and then heard the same noise. Great, he ruined his phone with the water, and he had spent quite some money on it, because he wanted one denreishinki that could take photos and make videos. What could he say? He liked modern technology.

He went back in, and asked for Renji's phone. He dialed the number and waited. Maybe it would be Akon, the one answering, and he could help telling things to Soutaichou in a smother way...

The same noise happened.

"What the hell?" Shuuhei said.

"What?" Renji asked, grabbing everybody's attention.

"I can't contact Soul Society."

"Maybe it's a connection problem." Renji suggested.

Shuuhei called his phone with Renji's and it went through.

"Use Kisuke's phone." Yoruichi said, pointing at some old school phone in the table against the wall. Shuuhei dialed the number and the same noise happened again.

"Wait for a while, it's the connec-" Abarai was saying.

"No, it's not." Yoruichi cut him, the woman had a serious look in her face, "That phone is special, it uses a different system that allows calls between dimensions without any interference. It should work perfectly, unless..." she looked down.

"Unless what?" Shuuhei asked.

"We're in trouble." The woman said leaving fast.

**0000000000**

" _I beg your pardon?"_

" _Ya heard me fine... But in case ya didn't understand I'll repeat: Ya're not welcomed."_

**0000000000**

Soul Society cut the connection between both dimensions. That was what Urahara explained. Why? No one knew. The only thing Shuuhei knew, was that they were alone. And he became even more alarmed when they found out they couldn't create a Senkaimon either. Shuuhei was alone in the human world leading a team, in which a Taichou –the strongest man of the team – was almost dead, one Fukutaichou was barely recovered, another Fukutaichou was passed out with tranquilizers because he had an unknown attack, and the last Fukutaichou, shouldn't be in the human world in mission in the first place due to her condition.

The brunet didn't believe in curses, but he really wondered if all the missions he led in the human world were doomed with tragedy.

"My dad arrived, we're going home," Ichigo said. His sisters were at the entrance putting their shoes on with a sleepy face, Ishida mimicked them. It was almost dawn.

"Are you sure it's a good idea?" Chad asked him.

"Yeah, I talked to Urahara-san, and he said it's better to go, since there's too many spiritual pressure in this place. Don't worry, Ishida can feel the enemy, and my dad is with us, we'll be fine. What about you? Inoue will stay with Byakuya all night right?" the boy asked his friend.

"Yeah, and I'm staying here too in case she needs me." The taller teen explained.

"Ok, tomorrow, I mean, later I'll come by. Call me if something happens." Ichigo turned to Shuuhei, "Hey, can we exchange numbers? Just in case..."

"Sure."

They both traded cellphone numbers. Shuuhei noticed the Quincy eyeing them with a frown in his face. The shinigami decided to ignore it.

"I hope Byakuya gets better." Ichigo said, then added, "And Kira too." He smiled to Shuuhei.

"Me too." The brunet smiled sadly back.

He found himself alone with Renji and Yoruichi in the living room, around the small table. Renji had his head between his crossed arms in the table and Yoruichi was silently eating something from a small –not that small, more like a 1L, - bucket, which read in the package "Ice Cream".

They stood there for a while. No need for words.

Shuuhei's head was filled with so many problems, he had no idea where to start fixing them. The two main issues here were Kuchiki-Taichou and Kira. The wounded Taichou made him realize that they were all pretty much screwed, if he was defeated so easily then what chance did they had? Not even Ichigo could help this time, because he couldn't see anything. His only chance was that Urahara would find something to help them...

Then, there was Kira, which was a more sensitive subject... The fact he was unable to confront the enemy, basically made Shuuhei lose his chance to fulfill  _his_  mission.

This however felt also like a blessing. The fact Kira wasn't in condition to face the enemy meant Shuuhei had more time until he would betray his friend and give him to the enemy. Well, not really "giving", but it was still something that would make the blond lose his trust... But he had been ordered by Soutaichou himself, and the consequences of denying that would be way worse.

Then there was also the fact Soul Society left him alone with all these missions. Cutting connections? Seriously? Was Soutaichou feeling so threatened, he decided to leave them alone, not caring if they got killed or not? Sure there was a risk for Seireitei, but they were better prepared there for danger, than the few shinigami on Earth.

Footsteps were heard coming, and the shop keeper himself appeared. Renji got up right away.

"How is he?"

"His wound was severe, but Inoue-san took care of that. He lost a lot of reiatsu, but since he started to get treated right away, the chances of recovery are very good. We are giving him reiatsu transfusions, like we did with you. It's a matter of time now." Urahara explained.

"What about Kira?" Shuuhei asked making sure the man didn't forget him.

"I'm working on that."

"And the connection with Soul Society?"

"I'm working on that too."

"That's not enough." Shuuhei felt his own voice being harder than he intended. He felt Abarai's eyes on him.

"I apologize, Hisagi-san, but I'm only one man and I didn't have time yet to fix things."

He felt guilty for speaking like that, it wasn't the former Taichou's fault.

"Is there something we can do to help?" Renji strangely asked.

"I'm glad you asked that." Urahara grinned and opened his fan, " First, you could start convincing Matsumoto-san to give me a blood and reiatsu sample. I need it to find out why only some can sense the enemy. That will help us discover more about them." Urahara turned to the woman in the room that was still eating her ice cream, with a less amused expression, "And I need yours too, Yoruichi. I'm serious."

**0000000000**

" _I..."_

" _Oh, don't be scared! It's not me who doesn't welcome ya..."_

**0000000000**

"No way, Shuuhei."

"Please, Rangiku-san!"

"No! If Urahara knows, everybody will know!" the woman replied.

"But he won't tell anyone! If we ask him to keep it secret, he will."

"But..."

"Listen, eventually everyone will find out. Large clothes won't able to hide it forever."

Rangiku sighed.

"I know..." She looked at Kira sleeping peacefully in the futon, "He will be so mad at me."

"He won't. He'll understand, you can even tell him the truth."

"Truth or lies, Kira will be mad. He was my first option before you. He looks the most like him, but it would be so unfair for him..."

Shuuhei stood silent also watching the blond sleeping. The woman continued.

"I'm not even sure if we are going to do the right thing. I know that the consequences can be awful, but I don't want to ruin your life, Shuuhei."

"You won't. I'm here for you. And everybody will understand, even Kira. Then when you'll feel like you are ready, you'll tell him the truth. Kira can look cold sometimes, but not with you." Shuuhei said to the blonde, puting an arm around her shoulder.

"What about you?" she asked.

"I'm gonna be fine. Let's just pray the baby will be a brunet, or we're screwed." He chuckled, making the blonde woman smile.

**0000000000**

"I see..." Urahara replied as he watched Shuuhei carefully. "Of course, I'll keep it all confidential. You can go rest in one of the spare rooms, ask Ururu, outside." He said to the woman. She left with an annoyed expression in her face. Who had thought Rangiku didn't like needles?

"So you are the father?" the man asked.

"Yes." Shuuhei replied.

"Really?"

"Really."

"So... when I'll test his reiatsu sample, I will see bits of yours too?"

Shuuhei gulped, and looked elsewhere. There was no way of tricking this man.

"What do you want to keep things quite?"

"My, my Hisagi-san. I'm not that kind of person. I just think that in exchange you can help me with something."

"What?" Shuuhei asked. He should be carefull with what he was going to say.

"First, you can start telling me what Yamamoto-Soutaichou asked  _you_  to do here."

The brunet tried not to look too shocked, with Urahara's sharp mind. Afterall, that man was the genius that was able to seal Aizen. Shuuhei had to tell him his mission, so the man could keep his mouth shut about Rangiku. But he couldn't sell Kira... Things were getting so damn complicated.

"Ok, I'll tell you, but you have to cure Kira no matter what."

"Of course."

Trusting the other man's word, Shuuhei explained  _his_  mission. Urahara listened to him carefully, and nodding, understanding what he was hearing.

"I'm going to be honest with you, Hisagi-san, I already knew you would be ordered to do that."

"What? How?" Shuuhei asked shocked.

"Because the moment our enemy was known to be related to Aizen it would was only a matter of time before Soul Society got Kira-san involved."

"I don't understand why they are doing that. Soutaichou didn't explain anything," Shuuhei said. He wasn't liking this at all...

"It's easy. Soul Society doesn't trust Kira-san."

"Why?"

"Well, it's obvious, isn't it?"

"The betrayal... but everything was solved."

"It may seem it was solved, but in reality it wasn't. There are things that are unknown to most of the shinigami. Even Taichous are kept ignorant about it."

This was strange. Even the Captains didn't know...

"Like what?"

Urahara leaned against the counter, and crossed his arms.

"When Aizen was in trial, he told Central 46, that there was someone within the Gotei 13 that knew everything about him, and his plans."

There was someone who knew? Another traitor?

"Who?"

"He said that it was the Third Division Fukutaichou, Kira Izuru."

Shuuhei's eyes widen. Kira? No. This was a lie, Kira didn't know about anything. Kira had cried when Ichimaru left, he was caught by surprise like he was with Tousen's betrayal.

"That's not true. Kira didn't know anything." Shuuhei replied firmly.

"I know, and so does your leader. Yamamoto-Soutaichou himself said Kira-san doesn't have anything to do with Aizen, and that this was all Aizen's plans to cause a quarrel in Seireitei. But you know how those men at central 46 think, and even if Aizen's word isn't to trust, some still have doubts. So they have been watching Kira since then."

"Watching... You mean spying."

"That's another way of saying it."

"Then my mission..." Shuuhei started.

"The mission was given in secrecy by the old man himself right? Kurotsuchi also knows it, but we can expect him to be silent about it, since he doesn't like the Central 46 very much."

"Yes. Soutaichou said this was a secret mission. No one should know about it, not even you. I guess I just committed treason for telling you."

"Oh no!" Urahara shook his head, "Do not worry about it, no one will know about this. And it's good you told me, that way I can help you for when things go in the wrong way."

"Nothing will go wrong because Kira is innocent, but thank you, Urahara-san." Shuuhei respectfully bowed.

"Oh please, this is nothing. Here, " he gave the brunet a little bag, "those are ear plugs for Kira-san. They should help while I'm trying to find something more permanent to fix his problem."

"Thank you. What do you think happened to him?"

"I'm not sure yet, but I'm starting to see a pattern here..."

**0000000000**

" _It's Izuru... He hates that ya don't leave him alone..."_

**0000000000**

Shuuhei entered the dark room, where the blond still slept soundly. It was already morning, and Shuuhei felt exhausted.

The clothes he was wearing were already dry, except some parts on his pants. He took them off and also his t-shirt. His boxers were also still a bit wet. He took them off staying all naked in the room. Kira was asleep so it was ok. Even if he wasn't, he wouldn't mind, he wasn't ashamed of his body, the only thing that could happen was him getting hard because Kira was watching him...

He dressed the yukata Renji had brought before and then he laid down on the floor next to Kira, on top of the thick blanket he got used to sleep on. He stared at the ceiling as he heard the blond's breathing. He turned his head watching Kira's profile. That beautiful face with bandages covering around his ears; his usual neat hair, was all messy spread in the pillow.

Shuuhei crawled next to Kira in the futon, covering himself with Kira's blanket, cuddling the blond. No matter how hot it was, Kira's warm body felt great against his. He watched the blond sleep with his parted lips. They were bruised. He had bite them, maybe when he was in pain...

He couldn't help but feeling sad about him. All the bad things happened to Kira, and it was never his fault. This mission that was given to him... no matter what, he wouldn't let anything bad happen to the blond, he would protect him, even if he ended up hating him.

"I wish I could trade with you." Shuuhei whispered.

He watched Kira until he fell asleep.

**0000000000**

" _So, ya should quit on him. He doesn't like ya, Hisagi-kun."_

**0000000000**

**Kira**

There was a noise, a distant metallic sound, like a sword scratching the floor... And warm, something warm and soft against him... his hand could feel it, it was like skin... Wait a minute, skin?

Kira opened his eyes and it took great part of him to not scream in surprise. Shuuhei was sleeping, next to him... no... glued to him! His arm was around Kira's waist, and their faces were only inches apart. They were both sleeping in the same futon! But what made the blond even more shocked was the fact his own hand was inside Shuuhei's yukata in his bare chest.

Kira blushed bright red, but he wasn't able to take the hand away. He was touching Hisagi-san's chest! This was incredible. How many times he wished he could touch him like that.

The brunet seemed to be sleeping deeply. He wouldn't notice it, right? Kira gulped and moved his hand slowly, feeling the warm skin with the tip of his fingers, this was wonderful... He traced the lines of his chest, from his collar bone, down to the nipple. Shuuhei stirred and Kira took his hand away with a quick movement. He was still asleep...

Kira sighed, and stared at the other man. He felt some kind of sadness, but he didn't remember why...

Oh yes, Matsumoto... Hisagi was going to have a date with Matsumoto... he felt like crying again, but he didn't. Instead, he sat up. He noticed he had something in his face, and realized he has bandages... When did he got hurt? He frowned. In fact, how did he ended up in the futon? Why was Hisagi sleeping with him? Sure, they have slept in the same bed before, but since they arrived at Urahara's shop, Hisagi always slept in the floor... This was really strange... Kira didn't even remember when he dressed a yukata... He tried to concentrate in what happened. He could hear that annoying noise again, he touched his ear with his hand, and he remembered.

A pain. A pain like he never felt before. A pain, that felt like something was crawling inside his head and eating his brain... and he couldn't reach it... The sound was still there, lower, but in a continued tone. What was wrong with him?

"Kira?"

He startled hearing his name. Hisagi sat up next to him, holding his hands taking them away from his ears.

"Hey... Are you still in pain? Are you ok?" the brunet asked. Kira blushed feeling the other man so close and grabbing his hands like that.

"Y-yes... Just my ears... T-there's a sound..."

"Like yesterday?"

Kira looked at him surprised. It must have been Hisagi who took care of him.

"Not that bad," Kira said looking down. Suddenly, he felt the other man hugging him. He froze; his face bright red in embarrassment.

"You scared me so much. It was horrible to see you like that." Hisagi spoke against his hair. His arms around him felt so damn good, it was heaven.

Shaking with lack of confidence, he hugged Hisagi back burying his face on the semi-opened yukata. The deities must be at his side today, because never in his life he thought he would have the chance to be hugged and hug Hisagi back like that.

"I'm sorry, I worried you."

"Don't apologize, it's not your fault." They stayed hugging for a couple of minutes. Kira could stay like that for the rest of his life. Unfortunately, Hisagi ended the hug.

"I have something for you." He searched his clothes on the floor and retrieved a small bag. Inside were two yellow small cylinders.

"Those are ear plugs. Urahara-san said for you to put them, when you'll hear that sound again."

"Oh, thank you." Kira was so embarrassed, he was so pathetic making everybody worried about him like that, "I'm so ashamed, I hope the others don't think I'm weak."

He noticed Hisagi was about to laugh, but his face changed.

"What?" the blond asked.

"Last night... A lot happened."

**0000000000**

" _Who was it, Ichimaru-Taichou?"_

**0000000000**

Kira could barely hear people talking. The ear plugs, not only muted the annoying sound, but they also muted every other sound. So every time someone tried to talk to him, he needed to take one off the ear plugs out, which was the worst thing in the world; the pain would come in a bigger wave.

But Kira could easily understand what people were talking about, from their body language and from reading their lips. How did Kira learnt to read lips? He had no idea, guess it was a natural talent. The good thing though... he was able to stare at Hisagi without looking suspicious.

He was shocked before, when he realized he was naked under the yukata, and Hisagi was the one who changed him. He had seen his body, and Kira couldn't help but freak out a little bit... but not longer after, he freak out even more he saw the state of his face.

Urahara was kind, and cured the rough wounds of his cheaks and ears, but he still had a couple of bandages. The shop keeper also asked him a lot of questions regarding the noise, how it sounded like, what he was doing at the time, if he heard anything else...

Apparently, that sound was related to the enemy, since it happened the same time as Kuchiki-taichou was attacked. The noble man was still unconscious and the poor Orihime was still healing him trying to terminate the poison. No one was able to see him, apart from Renji who threatened to unleash is bankai inside the house if he could not see his Taichou.

Kira wondered since when did Renji acted like that towards Kuchiki Byakuya... Maybe it was because it was his  _Taichou._ If in the past, Ichimaru suffered like that, Kira would feel the same right? No... because Ichimaru was never injured like that, and he would never allow himself getting in that state... He was strong enough to survive anything!

' _But he died...'_

Yes, he died, but because he was facing a god-like shinigami... Still, Kira was rather apathetic when Matsumoto told him Ichimaru died. Part of him expected that to happen, another part of him was relieved and glad he died. Gin was like a disease, he would contaminate everyone around him, making everyone ill. His death was the only cure... This is what the blond said to himself, though deep inside he knew better... he was still in denial. But it was irrelevant. Gin was dead, that chapter was closed. He couldn't compare his situation with Renji's, they had nothing alike.

After getting throw out of the room where Kuchiki-Taichou was being healed – which was Renji's room – the redhead looked more annoyed than ever.

Matsumoto and Hisagi which were talking the whole time, became silent as they saw Renji. The redhead glared at them and then at Kira, who was couple of meters away from them sitting alone, then he frowned and glared back at Hisagi.

He walked straight to Kira and gave his hand to help Kira get up.

"Let's go talk."

Kira nodded, and both he and Renji went outside the shop, sitting at the entrance.

"Are you feeling better?"

Kira got closer to redhead sitting next to him, with almost no space between them, so he could hear Renji better with his ear plugs.

"Yes. I don't feel any pain now," The blond replied.

"I was talking about the Hisagi and Matsumoto thing."

"Oh." Kira looked down, "Well... then I'm not ok," He honestly replied.

Renji put his arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer.

"You know, they are meant to fail, right?" Renji said. Kira didn't replied, he felt like crying again. The redhead continued, "Matsumoto is the high maintenance type. Hisagi may not mind about it first, but eventually, he will get bored and tired of it... What the... Are you crying?"

Kira felt so dumb crying but he couldn't stop the tears. He didn't like to cry in front of anybody, and now he was crying in front of one of his best friends because of his unrequited love. He was so weak...

"I-I'm sorry... It's just..." Kira's tears slowly slid down, "I already knew I had no chances with him, but Matsumoto-san being with him is the same as being rejected face to face. I will never win against her, she's so beautiful and funny and nice and..."

"Hey, hey..." Renji petted his head and leaned his forehead against the blond's. With his other hand he cleaned his tears, "don't say those things. You have no idea how gorgeous you are."

"No, I'm not, I'm no-" Kira was cut by Renji's lips on his own. He didn't move an inch in shock. It took him a while to realize, Renji was actually kissing him, not a tongue-full-of-lust kiss, but it wasn't a slow little kiss either. It was definitely a Renji-kiss, raw, manly and experienced.

The redhead broke the kiss, and chuckled at Kira's large blush. He leaned his forehead against the blond's again.

"You are gorgeous! And the proof is that I only kiss gorgeous guys," Renji said smiling. Kira couldn't help but smile too. Even if it was a pity kiss, it felt good.

"I don't know why you are so hard with yourself, when you have that face and that body. If you were open and you know... out in the market, you would have a line of guys after you."

"Yeah, right..."

"I mean it! You have the cutest ass ever."

"W-what?" Oh dear God, this was so embarrassing.

"Yeah, you heard it right. You have a nice ass, small and round and good to grab... and I'm not the only one thinking that."

Kira didn't know what to say... Renji was kidding right?

"W-who said that?"

"Well we kind of talk about it when we go out and you don't want to come with us..." Renji chuckled, "Remember that time when Ikkaku-san had to sleep at my place, 'cause Yumichika kicked him out of the 11th barracks?"

"Yes..."

"Well, the reason was because he said you had a nice ass, in front of Yumichika."

"What? They fought because of me?" Kira was shocked.

"Yeah, that's why Yumi says you are his number one enemy."

"I'm his number one enemy?" the blond couldn't believe. How could he be so oblivious about all of this?

"And you know, who also thinks you have a nice ass?" Renji asked poking his shoulder.

"Who?"

"The guy you like."

"What? I-I don't believe you." Kira really didn't.

"But you should! Hisagi said your ass is at the same level as Matsumoto's boobs! You know what that means right? It means you are hot as hell, and you should stop crying, and look down at yourself. You can have anyone you want, if you work on it a little bit."

"I only want Hisagi-san," Kira said.

"You can have him too. Juts let him realize Matsumoto is not what he think she is, and he will run to you. Or kiss him when you guys are in your room cuddling."

"Abarai-kun..."

"What? I'm not stupid, I saw earlier the way you were all nuzzling on each other..."

"But Matsumoto-san... I can't do that to her."

"Screw that! She can have anyone she wants! She chose now Hisagi, because it was easy to her, she's probably using him."

"But-"

"But nothing! Anyway, you will never guess who confessed to me..." Renji said slightly blushing. "Don't tell anyone."

Renji looked around tp make sure no one was listening and then said, "Kuchiki-Taichou."

"What?" Kira's eyes widen. No way! Kuchiki-Taichou? Kuchiki Byakuya confessed to Renji? Kuchiki Byakuya, leader of the Kuchiki clan was attracted to a man? Kira started to wonder how many people he knew were into guys.

"I know, I'm also shocked... I still have no idea how to react."

"When did that happen?" Kira asked.

"B-before... the attack. The worst part is that I was really rude at him before he confessed."

"Are you sure he really confessed?" Renji could have misunderstood things, right?

"Yeah, he said he's attracted to me and he wants to be with me."

"Oh."

"Yeah..."

"What are you gonna do about it?"

"I have no idea."

"He's really handsome, so maybe you could give him a try?" Wow, was Kira giving Renji romantic advises? This was awkward.

"Handsome? He's a fuckin' god! There's no doubt about that. The problem is that... he's completely different than me. And I'm sure he won't want just sex, he will want something more, and that's not my thing. At least with him. He's too...good for me." Renji said sighting.

"Abarai-kun, I think you're the one now looking down at yourself." Kira said, "I mean, you are a fukutaichou, picked by Kuchiki-Taichou himself. I'm sure he knew what he was getting himself into, when he chose you. Instead of thinking he was too good for you, he confessed, which means you are exactly what he wants."

"But..." Renji looked like he wanted to counter-argument Kira, but couldn't. "But I like experienced guys you know? That know what do to and where to touch... He probably doesn't even know how guys do it."

"You don't know if he's experienced or not. And if that is the case you can always teach him, right? It even makes things more fun." Kira blushed at his own words. Renji raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"And here I thought you were all innocent and shit... I think I'm gonna kiss you again," Renji said joking as he tackled down the blond who was laughing in panic, trying to stop the other man.

Little they knew a pair of blue eyes was watching everything.

**0000000000**

" _Don't worry, Izuru..._

_It's no one important..."_

**To be continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About the bonus - Remember that chapter in Hisagi's place where Kira got drunk? (chapter 5 - Egotism) I made a one-shot of it, it's called Entwined - Wishes. It's Hisagi's POV of what happened that night. Go check it out if you are interested =)
> 
> Thank you once again for all the kudos, they mean a lot to me!


	12. Greed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos:)

Chapter 11 –  _ **Greed**_

**?**

The silent hallways of, what was once known as, Las Noches were filled with the sound of heavy footsteps. A tall, large man with short green hair similar to a mohawk, walked with conviction, through what in the past was the battlefield between Espada and Shinigami.

It was clear, the damage of the building. The battles destroyed great part of the fortress, leaving only half of it intact. Most of the destruction made by the now deceased, Cuarta Espada Ulquiorra. His Resurrección - Segunda Etapa affected the foundations of the building more than it looked, and little by little that place was crumbling down. 

The large man grimaced as he thought about the Espada.

' _Arrogant little bastard...'_

He stopped when he arrived at his destination, in front of two enormous silver doors. He could see his own reflection in them, his bright golden eyes looking back at him. He heard some noise from inside those doors and chuckled. The  _fool_  was back.

Pushing the doors open he entered the room. He smirked when he saw the other man bleeding, gripping his zanpakuto that was cracked.

"Idiot, I knew you would end up like that." The large man chuckled, "That's why Master told us to not engage them alone."

The smaller man frowned.

"Shut up! Ya don't know anything at all!" He looked down.

"I know more than you think. I bet it was that Captain that beat you up like that."

The smaller man's eyes widen. Bingo.

"So what?"

"You're being stupid. Obsessing over the enemy is what dumbasses do."

"Shut up! Did ya sensed his reiatsu? He's completely different from anyone else! I was hungry..."

"If you are hungry than go eat that Kurosaki kid, his reiatsu his stronger, instead of almost killing one of the chosen ones. If he dies, Master will be mad."

"Indeed, I will." A gentle voice came from the other side of the room. The larger man grinned.

"Master. He attacked-"

"Oh, I see you've returned, Zed-san. Did you get it?"  _Master_  asked him. The larger man eyed them carefully.

"Yeah. But he hit me pretty hard."

"It is normal. The Shinigami are now more aware that they are the targets, they will not let their guard down anymore."

The larger man raised an eyebrow.

"Zed was on a mission? You could have told me!" he asked the smaller man.

"I believe you were sleeping, and Zed-san insisted in going by himself," the newcomer spoke, "But now, he is injured and he has to recover, so you will do the next mission alone."

"Finally, I can have some action." The larger man cracked his hand bones, enjoying the idea.

"Don't kill anyone," Zed said mocking him.

"I'm not an idiot like you, I know how to do things better than you."

Master chuckled and sat where was once Aizen Sousuke's throne.

"Then go and bring me the reiatsu from the  _greedy_  one."

**0000000000**

**Kira**

Kira woke up, once again cuddled by Hisagi. Everyday in the past four days, it was like this; hot breathing behind his neck or an arm wrapped around his waist. Of course, Hisagi was doing this unconsciously, but Kira couldn't help but feel happy about it. This was the closest he would ever get to the brunet, and he would savour every moment of it.

Neither he or Hisagi spoke about it. He didn't intend to, because he didn't want it to stop, and he assumed his senpai didn't even notice what he was doing every night. Let's face it, Hisagi would be embarrassed if he knew he was hugging Kira on his sleep like a teddy bear; and he would definitely stop doing that once he found out. So, Kira kept it quiet. It was a selfish act, but it was stronger than him. He craved for that touch so badly, everyday he wished his patrolling shift ended soon, so he could go sleep, and wait for Hisagi to come lay in his futon.

A certain boldness was rising inside the blond Fukutaichou, making him act like he never did before. They were little things, but it was still unlike him to do so. It wasn't like him to indulge his desires in a dishonest way... But he loved the feeling of being spoiled by Hisagi, even if it was for a few minutes, and for simple things.

He would fake the intensity of that insanely annoying noise he had heard in the last days, so he could receive more attention, - not pity, but attention – from Hisagi. He would pretend he couldn't understand what the other man said with his earplugs, just to get closer to him enough that he could smell him and feel his warmth. Kira was taking advantage of the other's man kindness, he knew that, and he knew how wrong it was, but the temptation was too great to resist.

Kira also found himself getting closer and closer to Abarai. The redhead was very nice to him, and never made him feel like an outsider. The blond was still hurt about Hisagi keeping secret the fact his former Taichou was mentioned, but he understood that maybe the brunet was trying to protect him somehow. Kira wondered if he would do the same. What if he knew the enemy mentioned Tousen? Would he tell Hisagi? Or would he keep him away from the turmoil, in ignorance?

Still, it wasn't only Hisagi who kept it from him, Mastumoto also did it. Kira always thought he and the voluptuous woman shared something special since they were at the same situation in what came to Ichimaru. They would seek comfort on each other, despite of, of course of her not being a ware in what was the real relationship between Kira and his former Taichou. Yet, she knew about the Arrancar mentioning Gin and he did  _not_. It hurt, to be treated like this, and hurt even more to pretend he wasn't aware of anything. But then again, Hisagi liked Matsumoto, it was obvious he wouldn't keep secrets from her, and apparently she had feelings for him too – since she accepted a date with him – meaning she probably would do anything he asked, including keeping things from Kira.

That is why that when he saw those two talking together, Kira would find Renji to get his mind away from, what he knew very well, was pure jealousy.

Renji would tell him that everything was going to be fine, and that he shouldn't give up, that he had chances with Hisagi. The blond didn't believe that, though. For so many years, Kira liked Hisagi, for so many decades he tried to figure out if he had a chance, he simply knew it was a lost case... But he liked to hear that from the redhead, it made him feel like he wasn't so bad, so worthless, so unattractive.

And there was also that kiss. That innocent, marvelous kiss. Renji wouldn't kiss him if Kira was disgusting, right? Even friendship has its' limits, Renji wouldn't be that kind to him and kiss him out of nowhere if he didn't want to.

The blond's confidence rose a bit, enough for him to stop crying every time he saw Hisagi and Matsumoto. Yes, it was heartbreaking, and yes it killed him inside the idea of them together, but it was fate, and he was already waiting it for a while Hisagi having someone. And it wasn't like it was the end of the world... Well, maybe it was, but at least he had a refuge, he had Abarai; that could help him get over Hisagi...

Though, he loved him more everyday that passed by... The deep grey eyes, the kind tone of voice... Those arms around him every time he woke up were just so warm and protective... Kira fitted perfectly in that embrace...

The blond turned around softly, to face the sleeping brunet.

Hisagi was in deep sleep, his breathing in a steady rhythm. Their faces were maybe eight or nine inches apart, Kira could see every single detail of that handsome face. From the 69 tattoo, to those three scars from so many years ago. They were still deeply carved in his face, marking that kind man's face in a scary way for those who met him for the first time.

Kira smiled, remembering what Hisagi used to say about that scar. Three lines, each representing the three brats that saved him. The brunet would laugh about it, in the drinking parties at the Academy, but Kira knew, back then, that his heart was shattered. Those lines didn't mean his salvation, they meant his destruction.

That day, when he lost his friends against those Hollows, Hisagi Shuuhei died. Not in the literal meaning of it, but in his heart he died and reborned. Hisagi became someone new, much kinder, less reckless, less violent and bossy. He became a man of justice, with a high sense of honor; someone who appreciated every form of life. And that transformation made Kira fall in love with him.

_The mighty Hisagi-senpai had a heart after all._

Kira continued to smile looking at the tattooed man. Hisagi was looking peaceful. His features were gentle, like a child. Blue eyes scanned the brunet's face, - eyebrows, eyes, nose, lips...- lips, those thin kissable lips... The blond blushed on his own thoughts. He shouldn't think like that. It would be so wrong! He already did enough to dishonor that man! He masturbated thinking on him! Not only that, he masturbated in someone else's house! Someone who had cameras everywhere! It would be unfair to kiss him too.

' _But It's only a kiss...'_

No one would ever know, right?

Their first kiss...

Kira moved his face slowly towards the man in front of him. He could barely breathe, his heart was on his throat almost suffocating him...

He leaned... Almost there... He could feel Hisagi's breathing... Almost...

A loud knock, more like a punch, - strong enough for him to hear with earplugs, - on the door made him jump, startled. The harsh movement, woke up the other man.

The door was knocked again. Kira got up quickly, he couldn't look at Hisagi at that moment. The other man wasn't a heavy sleeper, and he forgot about that. He almost got caught!

Kira slid the door open, and Matsumoto was there.

"Hey, sorry to wake you up, but we are going home now," she said.

"Oh, alright. Is Inoue-san alright?" Kira asked leaning forward to hear better.

"Yeah, she's fine. Kuchiki-Taichou doesn't need much healing now, so she's not as tired; but she needs to wake up early tomorrow to go to school , since she has an important test."

Kira nodded in response.

"Good to hear that. You can go safely, it's almost time for our night shift. Is Sado-san going with you?"

"Yes, don't worry about us." Matsumoto said.

"I don't. I know you can protect them." Kira smiled, and the woman chuckled.

"Silly Izuru." She said. Hearing his given name, made him flinch a bit. Matsumoto was the only one that would step those boundaries, just like  _him_.

The woman was eyeing him carefully, she probably understood what happened.

"Kira?"

"Yes, Matsumoto-san?" Kira looked at her in the eyes.

"Tomorrow morning when I come back, I need to talk to you." She was serious.

"Sure, did something happened?"

"You can say that... but don't worry, it's nothing that can't wait for tomorrow. I know how you are Kira, so don't tire yourself over this." She laughed.

"Ok, I won't worry."

"I hope so!" she said, "Well, I'm going now, then. Tell that to Shuuhei. Bye."

"Goodbye."

Kira let the woman walk away and then slid the door shut. He turned around and saw Hisagi sprawled in the futon, stomach down, occupying the whole bed. If he wanted to go back to sleep, he couldn't unless he kicked the other guy out. However, the sight was too cute, so Kira let the other man sleep. As he gathered some clothes and personal items to go take a shower, he wondered.

What Matsumoto wanted to talk to him about?

**0000000000**

Kira never realised how complicated it was to live, day by day, without one of the most important senses.

He always admired the fact Tousen, -when he was a Taichou – was able to fight so well without his sight, but he never paid attention to what that meant in a daily basis.

Simple things, he always took for granted were now not so simple. He was used to know when the tea was ready when he heard the teakettle hiss, now he only noticed when the water was spilling out of the kettle or steam filled the kitchen. He would jump in a humiliating way, when someone touched his shoulder to get his attention, and since almost everybody was in a gigai, their reiatsu was hidden and it was impossible to track them inside the house. Then there was also when he thought he was alone, and he wasn't after all, that made him feel paranoid, as he was watching now around every place he went. It was basically a pain in the butt.

Kira always thought he had a decent sixth sense, but he stopped relying on that, the moment he caught Abarai doing inappropriate things in the bathroom. It was an awkward moment when both decided that they would act like it never happened. Wasn't Abarai the one who told there was cameras in the bathroom? Didn't he had no shame?

Like Kira was the one to talk...

None the less, it was hard to do things normally. Urahara had told him, that he could make a kidou barrier. But the barrier would block any sound coming from outside. Kira's problem was not something in him, but it was the fact he could hear the noise from outside, most likely the Arrancar; since that wasn't clear yet, Urahara couldn't do anything about it. He had explained that if he put the barrier around the house, the others wouldn't be able to hear from outside too, and that barrier only worked on buildings, not people.

So, Kira had to keep the earplugs, and adapt himself to his surroundings, which brought another issue,- he couldn't leave the house.

After almost getting hit by a car, in a small walk outside with Abarai, Urahara and Hisagi decided that Kira shouldn't leave the shop. Sometimes he would go to the shop's training grounds to take a walk, under that fake environment, but that was all he could do. While, Hisagi and Abarai would train in their Shinigami form, Kira could only watch, because he was forbidden to get out of the gigai...

Four days without being able to get out of that house was torture. It was the same as a prison, but it had to be. Even if he wanted to breathe some fresh air, or just look at the real sky, at the real moon and stars, or the sun in the morning... Who was he to go against orders?

Fortunately, since Kuchiki-Taichou's attack, that things were quite calm. No enemy, no extreme hot weather, and still no communication with Soul Society, turning the patrolling shifts into doing-nothing-productive-all-night shifts.

Like tonight.

Hisagi was laying down on his stomach on the futon on their bedroom, watching videos of cats doing strange tricks on his laptop. There were millions of videos like that on the Internet, it seemed like the humans had a weird obsession with cats, and apparently so had Hisagi.

He would laugh in every video like an idiot. He had even pulled Kira next to him to watch with him. Kira had to admit the videos were actually funny, and they were an excellent excuse for him to be lying next to Hisagi on the futon.

"We really need to have Internet on Seireitei." Hisagi said. Kira could hear him fine, but the brunet didn't need to know about that.

"What?" the blond pretend he didn't hear leaning his head closer.

"I said tha-" Hisagi turned his face too, freezing when he noticed how close they were.

Kira had no intention of this to happen, he just want to be a little closer to him, now he was petrified, he had no idea what to do. They were only a couple of inchs away, Hisagi's lips were slightly parted. Kira could smell his breath, the scent of spearmint fulfilling his nose. It was delicious...

' _Oh God...'_

He wanted to taste those lips so much, and Hisagi was still there, watching him, those grey eyes piercing through him... So amazing, so beautiful. Kira noticed the grey eyes moving from his own eyes to his mouth. Was this really happening? The blond felt the urge of licking his dry lips, but he was scared to move, they were so close...

Suddenly, Hisagi seemed to have noticed what was going on and leaned back, giving them some space.

"I said, we should have Internet in Seireitei." He spoke abruptly looking back at the screen of the laptop, "Akon said it was something possible, but Kurotsuchi doesn't want to spend money on that."

Kira's heart sunk. It wasn't like he was expecting a kiss, that was impossible, but he wanted it so much... He felt his cheeks warm, he was probably blushing.

"T-That..." he coughed to compose himself, "That is normal, the 12th is always on budget, they are in debt with every other Division."

"Not mine... We barely have money for our salaries, much less to help other Squads." Hisagi said, typing something on the keyboard.

Kira felt bad. No matter how much some of the Divisions of the Gotei 13 were in need of money, the Third Division was actually fine. He was pretty good in managing money, and wasn't as careless as Hisagi. Though, he would never say that to the brunet, of course.

Kira was quite rich, compared to Hisagi. He even had a house outside Seireitei that belonged to his family; it wasn't a mansion, but it was quite big, and he had enough savings to live without working for many years. That plus his normal salary, which he never spent it all. He wasn't the type to buy things for himself. Unlike, Hisagi who would spent a month's salary in one day just to get something from the human world, like a computer or a guitar or television. Impulsive buying. In that aspect he was worse than Matsumoto.

Returning his attention to the laptop, the blond failed to noticed that Abarai entered the room.

"You should knock before you enter." Kira heard Hisagi say, and then looked at the redhead, Renji chuckled and laid on Hisagi's other side in the same way they were, stomach down.

"Why? Were you two doing something kinky?" the redhead joked.

Oh dear god, did he just said that? Kira blushed bright red, maybe he heard wrong? Yeah, Renji was pretty far away, so that must be it... Hisagi said something to him, and they both laughed. It was hard to understand when they spoke on the opposite side of him.

"So..." Abarai said staring at the laptop raising an eyebrow to the fact they were watching cat videos, "I'm having a dilemma." He spoke loud enough that Kira could hear.

"What dilemma?" Hisagi asked.

"You see... I have this guy who is a major ass that has a thing for me..." Renji started. Kira knew he was talking about Kuchiki-Taichou. "He has a lot of attitude problems, really arrogant... but he's fucking hot!"

"And you don't know if you should do him or not because of his personality?" Hisagi asked.

"Yeah... that and the fact that if we fuck, he may want something more. But it's like THE fuck of a lifetime."

"Who is he?" Hisagi questioned.

"Secret." Renji chuckled making Hisagi raising an eyebrow. Hisagi looked at Kira who shrugged. He knew who it was, but if Abarai didn't want to tell, he wouldn't either.

"He's like a unicorn," Renji said.

"A unicorn?"

"Yeah, it's rare to catch."

"That rare, uh?" Hisagi asked.

"Yeah, fucking rare, and fucking worthy. But the guy is just so in another level, his mind his the opposite of mine, we will never be good together."

"Well..." Kira interfered, "I think you should list the pro's and con's, and decide from that."

Hisagi looked at him surprised, and then turned to the redhead.

"Kira's right. You need to figure out if it's  _truly worth_  the trouble."

"Yeah, you guys are right. List... let's see, pro's... he's really hot!"

"Con – It can harm your work dynamic." Kira said.

"Work dynamic?" Hisagi asked oblivious.

"Yeah, that's true. Pro – He's rich."

"Con – you're poor." Kira stated.

Hisagi looked at them questionably.

"Love is blind, it doesn't matter if I'm poor or not."

"I'm sorry, Abarai-kun, you are absolutely right, I don't think  _he_  cares if you are poor, I mean he likes your for what you are, and he knows you  _are_ poor. Con – He likes you, and you don't like him... Or do you?" Kira looked at the redhead in the eye. Both stared at each other for a while.

"N-not in a romantic way, but I may like him... physically... Did I mentioned he's fucking hot?"

"Looks aren't that important." Hisagi said, "It seems that if that person wants a relationship, you have to decide what you want before doing anything; and I have no clue who that guy is, but can't you talk to him? Ask him if wants to keep things less serious?"

"I guess... But I doubt that... Shit, I'm so fucking horny, but I don't want deal with someone so difficult."

"You're always horny." Hisagi said lowly, but Kira could hear.

"Damn right! Do you have any idea when was the last time I fucked? Almost two years! Do you know how long that is?" Both Hisagi and Kira looked at him in shock. Two years?

"Two years?" Hisagi said like he was reading the blond's mind. "That's bullshit. What have you been doing to not do anything for that long?"

"Training? Becoming a Fukutaichou? War?" Abarai replied bitterly. "And I mean fuck  _fuck,_  handjobs don't count, neither does oral..."

"That's better than me then. I don't have any kind of action since... a few months before the betrayal... so a year?" Hisagi said. Kira blushed even more, he secretly liked the idea of Hisagi not having sex with anybody.

"Any kind of action? Geez, Hisagi that's because you became picky..."

"Everybody says that, but there is nothing wrong with having standards, and it's also because I have a lot of work and have no time for dates."

"That's just an excuse, there's always time for dates." The redhead said, "What about you Kira?"

"What?" the blond asked, he understood what he said, but he was shocked they were asking that to him.

"He asked you how long since you had sex." Hisagi stated and grinned, making Kira blush even more.

"Oh... Hmm... I'm not sure..." He started to count by his fingers, he couldn't see but Hisagi was surprised, "Nine months..." He blushed even more.

"Nine months? Sex?" Renji asked frowning. Kira nodded. "Damn, Kira you're better than us." The redhead laughed.

Hisagi was weirdly silent, making the blond feel self-conscious. Maybe he shouldn't have told the truth. But Hisagi would think he had sex with a girl, right? So it shouldn't be any problem as long as they didn't ask –

"With who?"  _That._  The blond's eyes widen hearing Hisagi's voice.

"Yeah, with who?" Renji asked too. Kira glared at him, was he stupid? Giving Hisagi motivation? Didn't he begged Abarai to not tell anyone about his sexuality?

"I... believe that is a private matter." The blond replied looking away.

"Geez, Kira it's just us, you can tell." The redhead insisted.

"I don't ask about your private life Abarai-kun, you should do the same."

"He's right." Hisagi said looking at Renji, "Not everybody likes to tell the world about their sex life..."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Renji asked raising an eyebrow.

"That not everybody is a horny bastard like you."

"Eh? Look who's talking Mister-I-Can't-control-myself!"

"What did you said?"

Kira chuckled as he watched the two other men fight, glad his sex life was forgotten.

**0000000000**

"Are you sure this is alright? Urahara-san said-"

"It doesn't matter what Urahara-san says, I'm the team leader, so I'm the one making decisions. You said you wanted some fresh air, right? Then, that's what you will get!" Hisagi replied with his typical grin. Kira's heart skipped a beat. Without thinking, he had let slip from his mouth that he was sick of being confined in that shop, and Hisagi decided to take him for a walk at 4 in the morning. It was so early, the streets were empty, barely any car at sight, and since it was night, the headlights helped the loss of sound.

Both fukutaichous walked side by side, in the night. Kira could say it was almost romantic. Maybe if they held hands... Damn, Kira was so cheesy... He blamed Hinamori-kun for that and her romantic novels...

The blond looked at the corner of his eyes, Hisagi had his hands on his pockets; it wasn't even an option to grab his hand... Well, of course it wasn't... Why would Hisagi want to hold his hand when he was a  _man_? Grabbing hands was what straight couples did, not men...

They kept walking, talking about casual things, like how the divisions were doing without them, and if the Seireitei Communication was going to be published on time with the editor-in-chief absent. Kira remembered that dreadful day when he gave his piece for the magazine, it was the day Hisagi  _forgot_ the dinner with him and lied to him about being with Matsumoto. The blond wanted to ask so many questions about them, what was going on, how they were, how he  _convinced_ Matsumoto to go on a date with him...

But no.

There was no way he would speak about Matsumoto or anything bad in his late night stroll with Hisagi.

"Kira?"

"Yes?" Kira noticed Hisagi stopped nearby a bench. The brunet signed him to go sit with him.

"You know..." Hisagi said as he made himself comfortable, "I've been thinking..."

"About what?" Kira looked in front. They were at a small park, the trees were dark as shadows, and the wind blew a small breeze that made his blond hair fly behind his head. It was bit chilly

"Us..."

Kira looked at him speechless. A million thoughts running in his brain. Did he made a mistake? Did Hisagi found out? Was he going to be reject? Did Abarai said anything? Was he...

"You know you are important to me, right?" the brunet said looking down at his hands that were crossed in his lap.

"Y-yes..." Oh God. What was this?

"Since Tousen left, it's hard for me to continue to watch people the same way I used to. I'm always expecting them to turn their back on me at any moment..." he paused, and then looked at Kira, "Except you. I know you will never leave me."

"Never." Kira whispered so low he couldn't hear himself, but Hisagi heard him. The brunet smiled.

"I... I want you to know that I will never leave you either. Never. No matter what. I will always be on your side."

Kira blushed, but he felt something was wrong. Where did this came from? Generally, only when Hisagi was drunk he would say such things. Kira was flattered, really flattered, but this sounded strange.

"Hisagi-san, I appreciate what you are saying, but you are scaring me..." Kira said. Hisagi chuckled.

"Sorry, I didn't mean that. I just wanted you to know that I care about you, you're my best friend. I'll protect you from anything." The older man softly smiled. Kira was mesmerized, he wished those words meant more than they did, but still... they already meant so much. Kira wasn't stupid, he knew Hisagi wouldn't say that to any one else... Sure, maybe Matsumoto, but he wouldn't say that to any other guy, just him, and that privilege made the blond the happiest he ever been.

Kira smiled, he loved that man so much his heart ache as it beat inside his ribcage.

"I-I care about you too, Hisagi-san." He cared in a way Hisagi would never understand, but it was alright... He felt good enough with his hidden confession. It wasn't necessary any other words, it was like a burden was lift from his shoulders. He told him he liked him and was told he was liked; they weren't the same type of like, but it was enough... Though, in that moment Kira had such an urge to kiss him.

Hisagi's hand moved to the blond's face, his elbow resting on top of the back of the bench. His fingers touching his hair, the blond bang sliding between them. His smile was dazzling. Kira shivered, not sure if it was from the cold breeze or the gentle touch.

"We should go, it's getting cold." The brunet said stopping.

"Yes." Kira replied, already missing that hand touching him.

"Strange weather." Hisagi said as he patted his pants from invisible dust, "A few days ago it was hot as hell, now I'm freezing."

They both walked back at the Urahara shop in a comfortable silence. Kira was satisfied with everything, it didn't matter if Hisagi was omitting things from him, if he was it meant he had a good reason. Kira trusted him with all his power, never would he doubt him, never.

Kira couldn't stop smiling. His love was so gentle, dispite his tough look, the brunet was gracious with his touches and words. If he was like this as a friend, the blond could only imagine him as a lover... He sighed; he couldn't wait to get back to bed, and sensing the other's warmth against him.

As they almost arrived, Kira smile faded away. He stopped on his track when he saw a man in front of the store. The man was tall, and large, maybe the same size or just a little smaller than Komamura-Taichou. The man wore white clothes, similar to a Shinigami's shihakusho. Kira grabbed Hisagi's arm to make him stop walking too, and he hid behind the closest building.

"What?" the brunet asked.

"That person in front of the shop..." he said, Hisagi frowned and peeked.

"I don't see anyone."

Kira peeked too, the man was still there.

"Right in front of the shop, don't you see him?" Kira asked confused.

"I can't see anyone, Kira."

This was starting to become strange.

"There's a large man in there! He's wearing white clothes like an-"

"Arrancar." The brunet completed. Both Fukutaichou's stared at each other, eyes wide open. The brunet patted his pockets.

"Fuck, I forgot my phone at the..." his voice trailed off as he watched Kira dialing a number from a denreishinki.

"Where did you get that?"

"I bought it from Urahara-san." Kira replied, still calling the former shop keeper about the guy in front of the store.

"When?"

"A couple of days ago."

"Why didn't you gave me your number?"

"I did... I-I registered the number on your cellphone."

"Oh, ok... you could have told me, though..."

"I forgot." Kira lied.

"Liar."

Kira couldn't help but smile, then he peeked again and no one was there anymore.

"Oh no!" He hid again, "He's not there anymore." He reached his pocket and took his Soul Candy dispenser.

"Wait, Kira, you can't get out of the gigai, you ears-"

"It's ok. Call Urahara-san, he didn't reply," The blond said giving his denreishinki to him, then he took the green pill, and felt the unbearable pain in his ears as he got out of the faux body. He knelt.

"Kira!" Hisagi knelt too in front of him.

"I'm ok, we have to..."

"You were here after all! I was tired of waiting." Kira froze when he looked at the owner of the voice that was behind Hisagi. The brunet must have understood something, because Kira was so tense.

He moved his mouth only, "Behind me?" Kira gently nodded, slowly reaching Wabisuke with his left hand. Hisagi looked at him, then at the artificial soul in the gigai behind the blond, then back at him. He nodded his head, and in a second he grabbed the gigai and moved aside running to the shop's direction.

Kira moved forward unsheathing Wabisuke, attacking the man.

"Raise your head, Wabisuke." He hit the man, who only defended himself with his arm. Carefully, Kira stepped back. He had to analyse his enemy.

The tall Arrancar was a big guy, twice, maybe three times bigger than Kira himself. Despite of his monstrous size, the guy was actually good-looking. He had strong manly features, green hair, with shiny golden eyes, framing them, there was what was possibly the remnant of his hollow mask in the shape of horned-brows, he had a frown on his face.

"Cooperate and you won't die... yet." The man spoke, his voice was rough, but he seemed quite articulate. He stood still, his zanpakuto... where was his zanpakuto? Why would an Arrancar attack a bunch of Taichou and Fukutaichou –level shinigami without a zanpakuto? This was odd, Kira couldn't underestimate him... Wait... he said he was tired of waiting... Waiting for who? Himself or Hisagi?

"Arrancar, were you seeking me?" Kira spoke softly.

The taller man didn't replied. Kira tried not to panic. 

"Who sent you, Arrancar?" He had to get information, and a luckily throw a few strikes from Wabisuke, the usual plan...

"No one sent me, we are all equal, and..." The enemy moved his head slightly, "I'm not an Arrancar."

Kira's eyes widen, and he sensed something behind him. He knew that feeling too well, no matter how much Hisagi could hide his reiatsu, Kira would always feel him at such distance. The brunet must have be in his soul form and was hiding to assist Kira, but he couldn't see the enemy or could he? Maybe without his gigai? Anyway, Kira had to make sure Hisagi got the information he had, if something happened to him.

"Then if you are not an Arrancar, what are you?" the blond asked. Where were the others? Probably around trapping the enemy?

"Something more than that."

"Something more." Kira replied, he was sure Hisagi would understand he was being the messenger, they understand each other well, "And you are all equal? I assume you are not the one that attacked Kuchiki-Taichou."

The large man laughed.

"How could you tell?"

"You are not wounded, and from what I know the one who attacked him was heavily assaulted by his bankai." He wasn't talking to the enemy, he was talking to the brunet hiding behind him.

"Yeah, Zed was always the weak one."

Good, he had a name now.

"Zed was the weak one? Did he died?"

"No, why would you be happy?"

"No, I do not mourn my enemies, but I certainly do not disrespect them. Death is not something to be amused with. But he's still alive, so it is useless to speak about this." Kira said; he needed to hit him with Wabisuke at least three times. The man was probably 180Kg, his arm should weight around 11,5Kg, but now it was the double, that would take too much time to immobilize him... Damn... Kira had to hit his torso at least 3 times, then at least one time each leg. It was the downfall of big guys, they had their own weight against them.

"I agree. I'm tired of being here, let's finish this."

"You told me if I cooperate you wouldn't kill me."

"Yet." The large man added.

"Yet." Kira gulped, "What do you mean by cooperate?"

"Easy, let me drain a part of yourreiatsu, and you'll live for a while longer."

"You want to drain my reiatsu? Why mine?" Kira prayed Hisagi could hear everything, "Are you targeting specific people?"

The man laughed and tilted his head.

"Sure... You are smart aren't you?"

"Then you are. Why me? What do I have that my reiatsu is especial?" Kira asked, why was he able to see him?, "Are you the reason my ears ache?"

"That's not my fault, as for your first question," The enemy looked up at the night sky, "You are full of... greed, you want everything and anything. You want what you can't have, and still want what you already own, and you despise sharing. You are the most selfish being in this town."

Kira was taken aback with those words. He knew he had selfish thoughts but being the most selfish person in that town?

"Your reiastu reeks of avarice."

Kira decided he wouldn't listen to anymore of this idiocy. He  _'shumpo-ed'_  behind the enemy trying to hit the back, but once again the enemy defended with his arm. Kira kept hitting him several times, and the other man kept defending with his arms.

He only defended, never attacked. This was beyond odd, this had a meaning. This enemy, was different from the other, but he could have a similar technique to the other, Kira couldn't let him touch him in any way.

He would need to find an opening and use a bakudou spell to immobilize the enemy.

Suddenly, a sizzle sound filled his ears. His free hand grabbed his head, he tried not to scream in pain. The sound was similar to the other time, but this time it sounded a bit different, more animalistic, more... alive...

The enemy laughed. Kira looked up and noticed a form flying above the tall man. It looked like a small hollow with brown wings, it's body was also brown, his shape resembled a rhino, a rhino with wings.

The closer the animal-like hollow came, the louder the noise became; his legs started to shake, the pain was unbearable, his head was about to explode. He heard a concerned voice at 7 o'clock from him.

"Kira?" Hisagi spoke, the enemy's attention was caught by the voice and the tall man used sonido to move and attack Hisagi with his hand. Kira's eyes widen.

' _NO!'_  he  _shumpo-ed_  too, and blocked the attack with Enkousen*, making the enemy step back.

"Hisagi-san, leave please."

"I can't leave you alone."

"You have to. You're being a burden. I can't protect us both, there's two of them. The second one seems like a normal hollow though. Please, Hisagi-san bring Yoruichi-san or Abarai-kun, someone that can see or sense him."

"Kira..." the brunet was hesitant.

"Go!" Kira ordered, surprising himself with his own tone of voice. Hisagi left right away.

"Tch... You are pathetic, you can't deal with someone touching your toy." The tall man spokes snickering.

"He's not my toy."

"Oh really? Then what is he?"

"I don't expect someone like you to understand." The blond replied. A monster would never know what love is.

"Actually, I understand better than you think. You are a Shinigami, yet you act like a human, with your feelings."

"What does a heartless being like you know about human feelings?"

The man laughed.

"Everything." The big Hollow-bird flew behind him, with his opened wings. The man jump on it's back, "And better than you, because unlike you Shinigami, I am human."

What? Human? This was not possible.

"Don't lie to me, you are an Arrancar. Your reitasu is like an Espada, you have fragments of an hollow mask in your face."

"I assure you I'm not an Arrancar, I'm human, however I have the powers of an Espada like you said, my name is Xaoh, the Segunda Negativa. Now, let's end this once it for all, I need to complete my mission."

The Hollow flew towards Kira who ran away; with Wabisuke at hand, the blond remembered in the past, he fought against an Arrancar with wings. Xaoh, had made a big mistake getting on top of that flying beast. The only problem was getting closer to the hollow, without fainting from that loud sound.

The blond realized that the sound came from the Hollow, not the Arrancar- ergh... Negativa. So he had to get rid of the Hollow first and then bind the tall man; his attention was caught by a alley in front of him.

Breathing deeply, Kira stopped running, and watched as the Hollow moved towards him, flying close to the floor. Using the fastest shumpo he ever did in his life, he hit the hollow gently with Wabisuke.

The Hollow didn't realize he was hit, not feeling any injury, the big monster tried to follow the blond's fast movements, but in vain. Xaoh, frowned, maybe starting to realizing something was up.

"Up, Demoledor." He ordered the Hollow. The long wings started to work their way up, but soon they fell in the floor, like they were made of a heavy stone.

The blond sent two small Shakkahou* spells – one towrads the beast, the other towards the left side of it, making Xaoh step away from the Hollow, in the opposite direction where the kidou spell was targeting, entering the small alley.

Kira didn't even think twice, or he would lose his timing, and used Bakudo # 61, Rikujokorou*; a light was released from his finger and hit Xaoh who defended himself with his arms. But this wasn't something he could defend; the light pierced through him, and six spiritual bands immobilized him. His golden eyes were widen open in shock.

Ignoring him, Kira moved closer to the Hollow, the sound was horrific as he got closer. He lifted Wabisuke to strike the damn Hollow.

"DON'T!" Xaoh yelled.

"You would do the same if you were in my place. And it is my duty to destroy Hollows." Kira said, and swinged Wabisuke cutting the Hollow's torso in two halfs with the the inside of square-shaped zanpakuto. The Hollow whined in agony and Kira closed his eyes feeling nauseous. The whining faded away, as the Hollow turned to dust.

"NOOOO."

Kira re-opened his eyes, and saw on the floor, where the Hollow was, a broken sword also fading away. It was Xaoh's zanpakuto, the Hollow was his ability...

Grabbing, Wabisuke tightly, he couldn't help but feel a little bit sad, he just eliminated part of someone's Soul. Even if it was the enemy, losing a zanpakuto was worst than death. He wouldn't make Xaoh suffer, he would finish his pain and misery quickly.

"Goodbye, Xaoh, the Segunda Negativa." Kira spoke as he prepared Wabisuke to decapitate the man in front of him.

' _But he's a human...'_

What?

' _A human with a heart and a living body.'_

Wabisuke?

' _Human.'_

Kira hesitated, Wabisuke never spoke to him, unless the blond went to his inner world, the Wretched One would never come to him. Never.

' _Human.'_

A green light came from behind him and Kira jumped just in time to avoid the cero. Another man was in the sky. He was also wearing white, his green hair was the same color as Xaoh's except the newcomer's was longer.

"Ya know how to do things better than me? Isn't that what you said you stupid ass?" he spoke.

"Fuck you, and get me out of here."

" I would prefer a 'Thank you, Zed-sama for saving my ugly head'."

Zed? So this was the one that fought Kuchiki-Taichou? Kira gulped, he had no chances against this one.

"Did ya get his reiatsu?"

"Not yet. He destroyed Demoledor." Xaoh replied serious glaring Kira.

"What? This one? What the fuck, Xaoh? He's the weakest one!"

"Weakest my ass!"

"Ya're the one who's fucking weak."

"Shut the hell up, you idiot."

"Idiot? Ya were caught by a Shinigami..."

Kira watched, dumbfounded, the two enemies arguing with each other. He tried to not take to heart 'the weakest one' part, putting that aside, he tried to figure out a plan. And that's when, four pillars of light surrounded them. Kira knew what they were, it was a bakudou spell that turned into a cage trapping everything that was inside the perimeter made by four users. Despite of that ability being named a bakudou, it was mostly used in an offensive move, since the person trapped inside would be subjected to poisoning or another level of torture.

He felt someone tugging his sleeve. He looked behind and saw Hisagi. The brunet made a sign for him to stay silent and they both left stealthy, when the enemies were distracted by the lights.

Hisagi grabbed his arm firmly and used his shumpo, that was much faster than his own, to get away from the bakudou's perimeter. Once they got out, Hisagi took him to the top of a warehouse nearby Urahara's shop, where Urahara himself was holding one of the sides of the perimeter.

"Good job, Kira-san." The shop keeper greeted, "I apologize for taking so long, but we had to evacuate the nearby people, before using the spell, or they would get trapped inside."

Kira looked in front of him and saw a yellowish giant cube surrounding the enemies. Though the yellow started to faded away, like it was out of power.

"What's going on?" Hisagi asked.

"I'm not sure..." Urahara spoke lowly.

Suddenly, the sky started to rip, and Gillian Menos appeared.

"Shit." Hisagi said, Kira looked at him, and saw the brunet was shocked. "This is..."

"Yes, it is." Urahara spoke, "Negación. They came to their rescue."

The bakudou field was completely shut down, as the Menos sent two beams of light and rescued the two enemies. There was nothing they could do against Negación, it was a well-known fact. It was the way the three Taichou traitors abandoned Soul Society.

Kira realized that Hisagi must have recognized that, since he saw his former Taichou leave in that light.

"I still can't see anything."

"I can't see them either. Are they inside the light beams?" Urahara asked, Kira confirmed.

"They are."

The blond didn't know what to think or feel. Sure, he survived without a single wound against the enemy, but part of him felt empty. Maybe because he was labeled as the weakest one? No, he already knew that he was the weakest.

Then what was it?

The name Xaoh called him that made his insides twist?

Oh yeah, he remembered... he remembered because it was pretty accurate, it describe his most inner self.

' _Right, Wabisuke?_

' _That is what I am...'_

Wabisuke didn't replied. But that was alright, Wabisuke also knew it.

The blond looked at Hisagi at his side.

' _Full of greed.'_

Yes, Kira was the greediest one.

**To be continued...**


End file.
